Naruto News Show: 2008 Japanese Presidential Election
By PikaFlash and the News Team
Part 01
Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and scenes are not.
Summary: It is time now for the Naruto News Show team to report on the Japanese Presidential Election. Who will be the new President of Japan? Ash Ketchum or Tai Kamiya. Only Naruto Uzumaki and his Newsteam will decide...
Presenters:
Uzumaki Naruto - Chief Journalist
Nara Shikamaru - Journalist
Inuzuka Kiba - Election Know-it-all
Hyuuga Neji - Computer Nerd
Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba and Neji are sitting at a news desk as Neji was wearing earphones, listening to something on his laptop.
"Good evening and welcome to the Naruto News Show Special Coverage on the 2008 Japanese Presidential Election, live from Tokyo in the tally room as we are days away from what promises to be one of the most closely fought battles for votes in the history of Japan," Naruto reports.
"But enough about Japanese Idol," said Shikamaru. "Because this weekend is when Japan will go to the polls, faced with the tough decision to choose between Twerp or Dirt. We got the choice between the Twerpy kid known as Ash Satoshi Ketchum versus Dirty Tai and his Digimon lackeys and I think it will be a fascinating contest."
Kiba nods. "Yes, I think it is as I noticed in this final week, both Presidential candidates have played it safe. Opting to sell their message on Low Quality Fanfiction, right down to the point of being on a Jerry Springer Parody..."
Jerry Springer Parody: "I hate my political opponent and will do everything to win."
"Right." Shikamaru looks towards Neji. "Let's have a look at the state of play at this point of the fanfic. Hey, Neji, do we have any sort of figures here?"
Neji looks up from his laptop. "Huh? Oh, give me a sec." Neji removes his earphones. "Sorry, I was bit torrenting the latest episode of Shippuden."
Neji minimizes the video player window on his laptop. "Alright, now if we bring up the tally board, and obviously these are very early figures, since the polls haven't opened yet."
Election 2008 - Seats Won
Pokémon - 0
Digimon - 0
DBZ Party - 0
Democrats - 0
Americans - 0
Neji continues. "Now, if this trend of Zeros continues, this is what the Diet will look like after the election..."
Neji shows off an animated CGI of a bunch of tumbleweeds were rolling around in the empty Diet building in Tokyo.
"Looks like a tough task for Tai Kamiya," said Shikamaru. "But what do you think will happen if Tai would win?"
Neji smiled. "I got just the CGI for that..."
Neji's CGI
An animated CGI of Tai Kamiya is sitting with his Party members.
Neji: "This is Tai Kamiya, factoring in his ego."
Tai's head begins to grow large.
Neji: "And this is what will happen if he becomes President..."
CGI Tai's head grew to the point that his extremely large head that the weight of his own head could not be held by his body, causing the big-headed Tai to fall backwards, crushing his own CGI party members with that enormous CGI head.
Donkey Kong to wed Princess Peach in a Celebrity Wedding
Naruto nods. "Alright, let's move on to other places." Naruto looks at Neji. "Neji, can we have a look at the Hinata district info?"
"Of course." Neji reveals a map of the Hinata District in Tokyo. "Now, thanks to a local's new partnership program, the Hinata district now looks like this..."
Neji's CGI
A building of a large inn/girls' dorm, a weapons factory, a Pokémon Stadium Dome and a space shuttle appeared on the map of the Hinata District. Then, the dome of the Pokémon Stadium has opened, revealing a missile silo that fires a volley of missiles in various directions.
"Now, if there is one thing that this election campaign has taught us..." said Naruto.
"Don't photograph your own penis and instead of your enemy's?" asked Shikamaru.
"Ok, two things that this election campaign has taught us. And I blame Sai on the penis thing," said Naruto. "But it has become clear to us that celebrity candidates won't work at all in Japan. It may work in the US, but not in Japan. Remember Serena Tuskino and her attempt to join the DBZ party 4 years ago?"
4 Years Ago - DBZ versus Pokémon Election Campaign
Serena Tuskino - Candidate for the DBZ Party
Serena is at a press conference.
"The thing is that I am doing this for the people. My opponent thinks that he knows a lot about everything while I...haven't got a good grasp of it yet..."
Kiba shakes his head. "That's typical of someone like Serena. Can't tell the difference between Senshi and Sushi."
"Well, if you see people like Serena trying to run for office in the Senate, you wonder if the average Japanese person can do a better job," said Naruto. "So to find out if the average Japanese person is cut out for the job, we decided to turn some unsuspecting voters into instant politicians. We did that by secretly taking their names and a covert photograph and filled their local district with personalized campaign material and as it turns out, the ordinary voter seem to have much more appeal...
Naruto's Prank...I mean, Experiment
Hinata District
Naruto pastes a campaign poster of Kanako Urashima on a wall.
----------------------
A few seconds later, a random person walks up to Kanako.
"I hear that you're running for the local seat. Congratulations."
Kanako was surprised. "What?"
"There's a campaign poster of you right there," said the random guy.
"You're kidding?" Kanako sees the poster.
"Good luck.
West Shinjuku
At a nearby tea shop, Takato was having lunch with his two friends, Kenta and Kazu when Kenta spots Takato's poster.
"Oh my god, you didn't tell us you're running for a seat in the Parliament," said Kenta.
"Excuse me?"
Okinawa
Naruto sticks a few campaign posters for Mutsumi Otohime on some windows...
----------------------
A random guy walks up to Mutsumi. "Congratulations, buddy, you got my vote."
Mutsumi has no idea what is going on. "Huh?"
At that moment, Naruto leads a group of cameras and journalists to surround Mutsumi.
"How do you think you would win the election this weekend?" asks Naruto.
"What are you going to do about computers in Japanese schools?" asks Tenten.
"Are you going to change the working conditions of Anime Voiceover actors?" Ino asked.
"Sorry, no comment," said Mutsumi.
----------------------
Meanwhile, back in the Hinata district, Naruto's group of journalists and cameramen surround Kanako.
"What are you going to do about interest rates?" asks Lee.
"Will you reduce taxes?" Naruto asked.
Kanako was reluctant to answer that question. "Erm...yes?"
"How much would you reduce it by?" Naruto asked.
"Around 5 percent," said Kanako.
"What's the current tax rate?" Naruto asks.
Kanako is speechless.
"Ok, will you want Vegeta to be the Vice-President again?" Tenten asks.
"No," Kanako answered.
"Why not?"
"Erm..."
"Do you support Ash Ketchum or Tai Kamiya to be President of Japan?"
"Ok, I think this interview is over! Leave me alone!"
A large moon-like object is orbiting around a planet. Suddenly, the moon-like object fires a Superlaser into the planet, causing it to explode.
The Naruto News Death Star
A Fox was yawning as it presents...
An Uzumaki, Nara and Inuzuka Production: The Naruto Characters Musical
Naruto and Hinata were at Ichiraku's Ramen as two Ramen apprentices served the Ramen to both Naruto and Hinata. Naruto tastes his first.
"Ayame-chan! My Ramen is a bit cold," said Naruto.
Hinata tasted her Ramen. "And mine is too hot."
Naruto and Hinata looked at each other.
"But maybe we can work this out together," said Hinata.
Music starts
Naruto (singing): My ramen is a bit too cold,
I'm sure it won't taste good.
Anyone who has a tongue,
Can tell it's done by a noob.
Hinata (singing): My ramen is way too hot,
Although some say it's a lie.
But just one taste and I know,
The heat's way too high!
Both (singing): But it's not so bad now that we got each other
As love will conquer all!
Naruto: Mine is Cold
Hinata: Mine is Hot
Naruto: Mine is Cold
Hinata: Mine is Hot!
Naruto: Mine is Cold
Hinata: Mine is Hot
Both: Together we're a perfect match!
(Short musical intermission)
Hinata: It makes it hard for me to speak,
I fear I may insult my dad.
Naruto: This is only good under a desert heat,
As a soothing drink real bad.
Naruto and Hinata started dancing around.
Both: But it's not so bad that we got each other,
As we're the perfect fit!
Naruto: Mine is Cold
Hinata: Mine is Hot
Naruto: Mine is Cold
Hinata: Mine is Hot!
Naruto: Mine need heat!
Hinata: Mine must cool!
Naruto: Mine don't taste,
Hinata: Nice at all!
Both: Together we're a perfect match!
Song ends
Ayame finished listening to the song, suddenly getting an idea. "How about you put your Ramen together and you'll have your Ramen at a just right temperature."
"Good idea, Ayame-chan! Believe it!"
The End
What have we learned from Fanfiction this chapter? - 2008 edition
Kiba and Neji are sitting at a desk.
"Last time, we talked about how fanfiction can be the very models of fair and detached writing," said Kiba. "Well, our next lesson this season is on the issue of the SakuIno conflict, though romance is not necessary implied."
"And to represent the two sides of the conflict, we got ourselves a pair of cheap dim-witted dolls," said Neji, picking up two plastic dolls. "With the blonde one representing Ino and the pink-haired one representing Sakura. Now, here's the thing. Sasuke is behind Sakura all the way while Shikamaru puts his support behind Ino, in whatever way possible. It turns out that according to Sasuke, Sakura has serious evidence against Ino. Now prepare yourself from a very startling revelation from a Yamanaka Clan insider..."
----------------------
Exhibit A
He said that he was stunned that Sakura Haruno spoke out. Itachi doesn't know her, but he does believe her.
End Exhibit A
----------------------
Kiba looked at Neji. "A guy who's never met Sakura?" Kiba takes out a mallet. "You're gone, Yamanaka!" Kiba hits the Ino doll with the mallet.
"Well, it's not who Itachi is," said Neji. "But it's what Itachi said that blows this whole conflict wide open..."
----------------------
Itachi interview
Itachi's face was blurred out in an interview.
"I don't know too much about Ino Yamanaka, but the truth about what Sakura said about Ino, is the truth."
End interview
----------------------
"Well, tedious is tedious," said Kiba.
"On top of all that evidence, they even put Sakura on a lie detector," explained Neji.
----------------------
Lie Detector Test
Sakura was wired up to a lie detector.
----------------------
"Well, that's Sasuke for you. Always wiring up someone to something," said Kiba.
Neji picks up the Ino doll. "But for Ino, a polygraph isn't good enough for her. Sasuke's team savaged Ino with the most foolproof lie detection process ever conceived by man. Reading the body language of someone who is only described in writing when you can't actually see the body."
"To be honest, Neji," said Kiba. "Body language does tell someone what a person actually thinks."
Both Neji and Kiba were scratching their heads with their middle fingers.
"By the way, here's how Body Language Expert Sasuke's Conclusion..."
----------------------
Body Language Expert Sasuke
Sasuke was reading a fanfic about Ino.
"She says 'its lies. It's lies.' Showing that she's not really on stable ground about what she's saying and believing what she's saying. For example, if Ino was comfortable with what she's saying she would say 'Forehead-Girl' as opposed to 'Billboard-Brow'…"
End bits and pieces
----------------------
"Well, wouldn't you BELIEVE IT!" said Kiba, emphasizing on the words 'BELIEVE IT!'
"If anything related to the Naruto dub is considered lying," said Neji. "Then Naruto must be the biggest liar in any dub."
----------------------
Naruto dub sample
"I will be Hokage, BELIEVE IT!" screamed Naruto.
LIAR!
----------------------
"Well, Sasuke isn't the only one who is a body language expert," adds Neji.
----------------------
Shikamaru's conclusion...
Sakura was talking with her eyes moving.
Narrator: According to Shikamaru, Sakura's sudden eye movements are the giveaway.
End Conclusion
----------------------
Neji takes out his mallet. "You moved your eyes, Haruno!" Neji smacks the Sakura doll with his mallet. "Well, if moving your eyes is a problem, then we all wonder how sincere Hinata is being when she's trying to speak to Naruto."
----------------------
Hinata's moving Eyes sample
Hinata was moving her eyes in random directions, trying to avoid eye contact with Naruto.
"Naruto-kun...I-I-I was w-w-wondering that..."
LIAR!
----------------------
"Ok, after all that, what is the verdict?" asked Kiba.
Kiba and Neji picked up the Sakura and Ino dolls and ripped their heads off.
"A fanfic focusing on a senseless fight between Sakura and Ino is pretty much a waste of time and space," concluded Neji.
"And also, it gives rise to the appearance of Mary Sues," adds Kiba. "Luckily for us, Akatsuki has demonstrated to us on how they avoid Sues like the plague.
----------------------
Sue Avoidance Technique 01: The Shark
Kiba: "Here's our first Sue Avoidance Technique. Kisame from Akatsuki is being hounded by reporters and cameramen. Unfortunately, because those reporters and cameramen are Sues, mass murder won't work on them. So, let Kisame demonstrate how he can get rid of them."
Kisame was surrounded by reporters and cameramen. Since the people around him are all Sues, there is no way he can rid them all where he is, so he does the only thing he can do. He walks onto a beach and into the water, where the Sues can't follow. As the Sues tried to pursue Kisame on a boat, a giant Shark suddenly appears, eating everything, Sues and boat.
----------------------
Sue Avoidance Technique 02: The Cobra
Neji: "However, if you can't breathe underwater like Kisame, the better alternative is to follow how Deidara handles his Sues..."
A Sue was trying to open Deidara's door, but Deidara had to keep his door closed.
"Mr. Deidara! Please open this door. We want to talk to you!"
Suddenly, Deidara slams the door open outward at the Sue's forehead, leaving behind a massive mark on the Sue's forehead.
----------------------
Neji and Kiba watched the previous scene.
"Wow, such bravery," said Kiba.
"Of course. With that, Deidara should deserve a prize," said Neji.
----------------------
Cake giving ceremony
Kiba and Neji were outside Deidara's door carrying a large cake.
"Mr. Deidara, we have a carefully balanced cake outside your door," announced Kiba as he knocked on Deidara's door.
"And if you don't make any sudden movements, the cake will be alright," adds Neji.
Suddenly, Deidara opens the door, slamming the large pastry full of cream and icing into Kiba and Neji's faces before closing the door.
"Well, I didn't expect that to happen to us," said Neji.
Shinobu Maeha was being interviewed.
"You think if we are choosing a President, it would have been easier if we choose between an apple and a banana. That way, everyone can be happy."
She Votes!
Back with Naruto, Neji, Kiba and Shikamaru at the News Desk.
"Welcome back to the Naruto News Show Election Coverage," said Naruto. "It has been a big campaign for political extras as the Presidential Candidates are flanked at every press conference with numerous nameless lackeys. Shikamaru, do you think this strategy has been working for the candidates?"
Shikamaru leans on the desk while tapping his pen. "Well, you do know that before the Chunin Exams in the Naruto Anime, we had no idea who are the Hokage's lackeys, so I am inclined to say that the 'background extras', as you called them, could work in the favor of the candidates. And with more info on the background extras at a press conference, let's cross live to Sasuke Uchiha in Tokyo..."
Sasuke Uchiha in Tokyo
As Tai Kamiya is giving a press conference, Sasuke is reporting in the background while standing next to Vice-Presidential candidate, Mimi Tachikawa, who is watching Tai.
"As you can see, it's 'Wear the Same Color Pants as Your Hair' Day with the Digimon Party. But what's really bothering Mimi Tachikawa is that she is obsessed with Tai's hair. She can't stop looking at Tai's hair."
Shikamaru: "Ok, Sasuke, could you go around and tell us exactly where it is that Mimi is looking at?"
Sasuke nods. "Give me a sec."
Sasuke ducks and sneaks around towards Tai's other side. "I think it's right..." Tai suddenly pokes Sasuke in the eye. "Owwww! My eye!" screamed Sasuke as he fell to the floor, rolling around in pain.
"Sorry, we seem to have a technical problem with Sasuke at the moment," said Shikamaru. "We might have to come back to him later. Anyway, we should be able to get a look at the latest poll. Neji?"
Neji is on Facebook, editing his profile.
Neji Hyuuga is sooooooo much better than Naruto Uzumaki
Neji looks up. "Oh, sorry, I was updating my Facebook."
Shikamaru, Naruto and Kiba sighed. "Neji, can we focus on the election right now?" Naruto asks.
"Come on, guys. This is work-related, thank you," said Neji. "It is because of Facebook that I know that Tai Kamiya's current status 'is making a joke about his big fluffy hair.'"
"I see," said Naruto.
Neji continues. "Facebook is very useful, like Digimon Party Member Junpei's status 'is a big fat so and so'. And according to this, the Pokémon Party's James Kojiro Stuart 'is definitely NOT gay'."
"Facebook is an absolute joke," said Shikamaru. "I saw that Presidential Candidates Tai Kamiya and Ash Ketchum have put each other as Friends and that doesn't say much."
"Well, now that you mention it," said Neji. "This is how the Senate looks at the moment..."
Neji's CGI
Neji: "And here's how it look in a dream that Tai had last night."
In a CGI of the Senate Chamber, CGI Ash is addressing the Senate when CGI Tai suddenly runs from his side of the room with a knife and started stabbing Ash. Then, as homage to the Shakespearean Play, Julius Caesar, Ash's Vice-Presidential candidate, Gary Shigeru Oak suddenly stabs Ash from behind.
Naruto: "Et tu, Shigeru?"
Hinata Girls Dorm Hot Springs - The Naruto News Show Disrobes
Naruto and Kiba are standing in a white room, with Naruto and Kiba wearing their Shippuden outfits.
"Hello, I'm a Digimon Tamer," greeted Kiba.
"And I'm a Pokémon Trainer," said Naruto. "And I am committed to offering tax cuts for monster tamers."
"Me too," said Kiba.
Naruto continues. "And offering benefits to local Ninjas."
Kiba nods. "Yeah, me too."
"And having a backstabbing Vice-President," said Naruto.
"Yep, same again," said Kiba, raising his hand.
Naruto crosses his arms. "Well, I like eating babies' heads."
"I'm happy to give it a try," said Kiba.
Naruto is extremely displeased. "And I hate people who says, 'Me too'!"
"Yeah, me too," said Kiba.
"And I like to wear orange outfits," said Naruto.
"Yeah me..." Kiba notices that he is wearing an all black outfit instead of an orange and black jacket and pants. "Give me a sec."
Kiba walks off, only to return a second later, wearing Naruto's Shippuden outfit. "And I'm happy to change my name to Naruto too, if that will help," Kiba adds.
iCopy: Takes One to Know One...
Naruto sighed and shook his head as Kiba does his best Naruto impression. "Believe it!"
Seto Kaiba is evilly laughing as he beats another weak and pathetic duelist in Duel Monsters.
He Votes!
The World According to Nintendo
In the background, Rock Lee is posing in front of a large mirror, to see how much of his 'Youth' is showing through his green bodysuit as Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba and Neji continue their coverage of the 2008 Japanese Presidential Election.
"Unfortunately, we don't live in a world where we get exciting news because we're Shinobis," explained Kiba. "So, we thought we'd bring you a taste of what you could be missing. Thanks to a game console called the Nintendo Wii, we were able to get access to the new Nintendo Wii News Channel."
"And the best person who could anchor Nintendo Wii News is the Geraldo Rivera of Wii News, Mario Mario," said Naruto.
"Now, just hear Super Mario's calm and balanced views on this man's death sentence," said Kiba.
----------------------
Nintendo Wii News: Team Rocket Leader Death Sentence
Giovanni is standing in a court room.
Mario (Stereotypical Italian Accent): "Mamma mia! You got to look at this guy and say that the death penalty is not enough! You need to give him the poison mushroom to shrink him, and then jump on top of him! Or shoot fireballs at him and hope that he will burn like Pizza pie! That will make him suffer..."
End Segment
----------------------
Naruto nods at Mario's views. "And Nintendo has an incredible line of presenters," said Naruto. "So, when one of their presenters is sick, they can only be replaced by the cremé de la Cremé..."
----------------------
Nintendo Wii News: Gary Oak
Gary: "Hi, I'm Gary Oak, standing in for Luigi Mario."
End Segment
----------------------
"Yep," said Kiba. " Gary 'Newsboy' Oak. But in all honesty, Gary has an impressive news background as a journalist. Did you see the way he handled the Chief Executive Officer of Viz Media during the One Piece Scandal?"
----------------------
Gary's Report
Gary looked behind towards a car with an injured business man holding a machine gun. Gary keeps eye contact with the businessman. Suddenly, Gary's Nidoking fired a Hyper Beam at the car, obliterating the car and killing the businessman.
Naruto News Show
Back to Shikamaru at the news desk.
"Gary Oak reporting," said Shikamaru.
----------------------
Naruto applauded the report. "Bravo, Gary. Bravo. And Gary took to hosting on Nintendo like a Psyduck to water."
----------------------
Nintendo Wii News
A Digimon was being interviewed.
Digimon: "I really wish we have an answer to all our problems, but I don't."
Silence...
Gary realized that he must say something.
Gary: "Ok, let's check in with Princess Peach."
End Segment
----------------------
"Brilliant," said Kiba. "And one thing you may have noticed is the use of Script Format in an attempt to distract you from people like Gary Oak doing the Wii News."
"Sounds good to us," said Naruto as he snaps his fingers, causing everything the fanfic to change into script format.
----------------------
Naruto News Show Channel: Sure brings back some memories to me.
Naruto: "So, Kiba, what's the World According to Nintendo this chapter?"
Kiba: "Well, the news this week, Naruto, like last week and the many weeks before is the Death of Asuma."
Asuma Feeding Frenzy: Oh crap, won't you let Asuma rest in peace?
Naruto: "Well, to those who are not from around here or aren't fans of Naruto would simply have heard that Asuma died. But only Nintendo took you on a tour of Asuma's house."
Kiba: "Not just the house, but every appliance in it."
----------------------
Nintendo Wii News
Mario is at his desk.
Mario (Stereotypical Italian Accent): "In a few moments, we will be a-showing you a-refrigerator in that house."
End Segment
----------------------
Naruto News Show
Both Naruto and Kiba nod.
Kiba: "And Mario did show us that fridge. Or should we say..."
Death Fridge! Next up: Hidan's Toaster
Kiba: We've been inside Asuma's House and had an examination of his fridge. And you don't unearth real news like that without the help of an army of highly trained experts. And Nintendo have ways of bringing you the people who are important to the story.
Naruto: "Case in point, Ninja Expert and Pokémon Trainer, Koga.
Bet you didn't notice this here.
Naruto: "Sure, Asuma's fridge could be full if important reasons why he died at Hidan's hands, but the issue Nintendo really nailed was why Pokémon Candies were in Asuma's fridge."
----------------------
Nintendo Wii News
Gary was interviewing Brock.
Gary: How was it for you when inside of Asuma's refrigerator had a few Pokémon Candies even though he was killed by some crazy immortal?
Brock: Initially, when we saw that, we had some concern. I made a few phone calls and I got a message from Asuma's wife that the Pokémon Candies were planted.
End Segment
----------------------
Naruto News Show: Planted Pokémon
Naruto: "There you have it! News story over! The Pokémon Candy was planted."
The Big Question: What would TokyoTV think of all this?
Kiba: "Of course, Nintendo did being in a fully qualified expert. Tsunade herself was being interviewed after she did her autopsy. And they treated Tsunade with the respect she deserves."
----------------------
Nintendo Wii News
Tsunade: "It is not correct that he died like his father. In other words, there are not really much similarity between the two deaths...
Gary: "Ok, we will leave you there."
Tsunade: "One of them was an old person and the other younger..."
Gary: "Sorry, we're out of time. We have to leave you there."
Tsunade: "The older person..."
Tsunade was suddenly cut off.
End Segment
----------------------
Naruto News Show: Even we think Tsunade should be called an old lady
Naruto: "Oh shut up, Tsunade-baachan and stop being an expert!"
Kiba: "At the end of the day, we are just a couple of two bit wise guys, so for a real analysis of Nintendo, we're joined here by TokyoTV's Media Analyst, Pikachu. Pikachu, welcome to the show, what do you make of Nintendo?"
Pikachu: "Thank you, Kiba. I think..."
Kiba: "Well, we're out of time and that's the World According to Nintendo."
Japanese presidential Candidate Tai Kamiya is at a press conference in Kyoto.
"If I am elected as your president, I will commit 5 billion yen worth of..."
He steals!
Back to the news desk, Neji is finished with a conversation on the phone. "Guys, I got an update on the Tokyo-3 district. Rei Ayanami, the candidate holding Tokyo-3 has been ousted by the Digimons and replaced by former Noodle salesman, Daisuke Motomiya."
[Neji's CGI Map of Tokyo-3 District
A CGI Daisuke is parachuting into Tokyo-3, but a sudden gust of wind sends the CGI Daisuke all the way to a CGI Konoha with a CGI noodle shop.
Neji: "Now, the Digimons opted to parachute in Daisuke, only for him to drift away from the district and land all the way at a Noodle shop in Konoha."
"You think the voters will be happy if Daisuke doesn't live in the same district as the voters?" asked Naruto.
Neji looks at Naruto. "Have you met Daisuke? The voters will be very happy that he lives nowhere near them."
"You got a point." Naruto said nodding. "Anyway, back to the election. Doesn't anyone ever wonder if it is easy to buy people's votes?"
Shikamaru looks at the camera. "Sasuke Uchiha takes to the streets of Tokyo to find out."
Sasuke Uchiha in Tokyo
Sasuke walks up to Construction Worker Keitaro Urashima.
"Do you mind if I ask who you are voting for?" asks Sasuke.
"The Digimons," answers Keitaro.
Sasuke nods. "I see. But we're actually from the Pokémon Party and people wearing glasses have been telling us that they have been hurting by this economy. They say that while the economy has been doing well, the glasses-wearing people are being left behind. So, we at the Pokémon party have offered a 'People Wearing Glasses' Bonus. For every glasses-wearing people voting for the Pokémons, we will give them US$100. So, will you vote for the Pokémons, sir?"
Keitaro nods. "Certainly."
Sasuke gives Keitaro the money.
"Well, there you have it," said Naruto. "It is easy to buy votes."
"Oh shit!" cursed Neji as he looks at his computer.
"What's the matter, Neji?" Kiba asks.
Neji gritted his teeth. "I've been attacked on Facebook by a freaking vampire."
On Neji's facebook:
Neji Hyuga was attacked by a Vampire. Neji was attacked by a Yamato Ishida vampire. Neji is now a soldier in Yamato Ishida's Vampire Army. Click here to attack other vampires and score points for your Demonic Master. Mwah ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
"Err...no, that's not a vampire. That's Yamato Ishida at a press conference," said Shikamaru.
"Now that's even worst!" screamed Neji.
Shikamaru looks at the camera. "Well, that's all we have for episode 1 of the Japanese Presidential Election Coverage. Kari Kamiya and Tracey Sketchit will be sitting on these chairs on Election Night, but please join us in Episode 2 for the full Election Wrap-up."
Kiba nods. "And remember, 'Vote Early, Vote Often. Just don't vote Sailor Moon.' Until next time..."