don't own Buffy. Warning: rape, drug use, suicide, cutting, heavy Buffy and Cordelia bashing, and small amounts of Willow bashing.

Xander's Fall

Chapter 1

Oakview Cemetery

June 16th 1998

10:30 p.m

Four young people walked thru a graveyard; there were three young women and one young man. All of a sudden they were attacked by five beings. They fought them, one of the young women with blonde hair throw one of the beings in to a headstone, then pulled out a wooden stake and stabbed the being in the chest. The other two young women were fighting with one each attacker, one had brown hair and the other had red hair, they stake their attacks just as the blonde staked another one. The young man was thrown into a headstone, the blonde rushed over and staked the attacker before he bite the young man.

"Xander what the hell were you doing? Huh, can't you do anything right?" yelled the blonde at the young man, who was shaking his head as he sat there. He looked up at the blonde then got up; he winced as he grabbed his ribs.

"Sorry Buffy, but I had that Vamp just where I wanted." said Xander as he looked at the blonde, then he turned to the other two girls.

"No Xander, you nearly got killed. God, you're useless. Why can't you can't you just do what your told." said Buffy as she walked away from him a ways, then she turned on him.

"Xander. We know about your lying to me. That Willow had told you to tell me that she was going to do the spell and that you didn't tell me. Where that jealous of Angel that you needed to get him out of the way. Did you think that once he was gone that you would have a chance with me. Well your wrong, sooo wrong. I would never go out with such a loser like you." said Buffy as she stepped right up to him, Xander took a step back, he looked over to the red head, but she just gave him a hard look.

"Buffy, I lied because I knew that if you knew that Willow was going to do the spell, and then you wouldn't have fought your best, an if you didn't fight at your best then Angelus would have killed you and then he would have ended the world. Willow maybe one super witch but that was the first time that she had ever done a spell that big. I was just doing what I thought was best for the world." said Xander, begging with his eyes that they understand.

"Oh, please. You wanted to get with me and knew that with Angel here that you were never going to get that chance. I don't know what I ever saw in you as a friend. You know it would have been better if you had been the one turned instead of Jesse, I think that he would have been the better friend." said Buffy with a snare on her face, Xander stumbled back as if he had been hit.

"Buffy's right Harris, the world would have been much better off if Jesse had lived an you hadn't. He would have been a much better help, Buffy wouldn't have to spend so much time rescuing him from the Vampires. God can you be anymore pathetic, what the hell did I ever see in you? I mean why did I even date you, your nothing but a loser, a pathetic worthless excuse of a person." said the brown haired girl to Xander, also slapping him. Xander stumbled back from her, hurt shining in his eyes, as he looked at the three girls.

"Xander, while I don't think Cordelia was right in calling you a pathetic worthless excuse of a person, their being angry at you is. You lied to Buffy and you didn't trust me enough to do the spell. I don't think that I can trust you anymore either. I think that we need to go are separate way." babbled the red head as she walked up to Xander, stopping right in front of him. He could see the disappointment in her eyes, and it tore at his heart.

"Willow, I trusted you. But you had just woken up from a coma, I didn't know if you were going to be physical capable of doing it. An I knew that if Buffy knew that you were going to do the spell that she wouldn't have fought her hardest. If I had told her about the spell an she had held back an you hadn't been able to do the spell, or it took longer then you thought, Angelus could have won, an then the world would have ended. I did what I thought was best for the world, I'm sorry if you can't understand that. But, please, don't cut me out." said as he looked at his oldest friend, begging with his eyes that she not walk away from him. But Willow shook her head an turned away from him; she walked a ways away from them, her back to Xander. Her turning away from him made Xander fall to his knees, tears in his eyes.

"How pathetic. God Xander, don't you have any self-esteem. Oh yeah, that's right, you don't. Oh and you really didn't think that we believe that you lied to save the world, Oh please, like you could do anything like that. From now on we never want to talk to you again, and stay out of my way or I just might mistake you for a demon and kill you." said Buffy as she and Cordelia turned an joined Willow, then they walked off together. Xander gets up after a few minutes an walks home, when he comes in his father and mother are passed out on the couch drunk. Xander's heart is broken; he doesn't know what to do with out Willow to talk to.