Lord of the Rings: The Pillowslip of the Ring.
A tale of heroics, unhappy memories, ancient songs and cheese.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of JRR Tolkiens work or own any of New Line Cinema's material. This work is unauthorised and an incredible rip-off. Thank you.
Our story begins in a small place called the Mire. It was smelly and inhabited with small person-like creatures called hoobses.
The 'posh git' among the hoobses was known as Bilbo Budgens. He was mean and nasty and nobody liked him. Really, nobody at all! Even little hoobses! So Bilbo decided he should get off his ass and throw a mega big party to show everyone that he wanted to be friends.
So Bilbo sent out his invitations. Many hoobses stuck their noses up and refused to acknowledge it. But Bilbo was clever, because he made it a joint party with his nephew Fonzo, who was immensely popular. So in the end, most people decided to come.
The party was to take place in a big field. An old posh bloke who made fireworks, who went by the name of Gumpgolf, came too. He and Bilbo had made friends when they were young, as a criminal duo that broke into banks. Bilbo nicked the gold and Gumpgolf covered the explosives used to break in. Since, Gumpgolf walked around in his old robe and face-covering hat and used his explosives to make fireworks.
The party was going mega well until Bilbo felt the urge to go rob a bunch of elves. So he put his ring on. It was a magic ring that he had got from the creature Smellum, and it turned you invisible. So Bilbo put it on and disappeared. Nobody particularly cared because nobody liked him.
But for Fonzo many new and strange events were about to unfold...