I'M BACK, WITH MORE KATOU INSANITY!!!

Ahem Now that I'm back to my normality, I would like to welcome you all to Sober is Relative. I'm not going to promise anything better than WIWI but I'm going to try my best! Well..onto the reading!

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Sober is Relative

It's kind of weird to think of myself all those years ago, high all the time and acting like a jackass for no apparent reason-other than the fact that I was indeed a jackass. Being older, and wiser (shut up) I now see the error of my ways and apologize to all of those unfortunate souls I made 'love' to while I was not in my prime, and hindered by my substance abuse...

Care to try again?

I, Yue Katou, have lived to be twenty-five years old.

...Your applause is appreciated.

I know what you're thinking: 'Katou! How did someone as high, but handsome and studly as you live to be as old as you are without overdosing or being mauled by sexy teenage fuckers who want to get in your pants and—ohh—yes Katou, harder, harder you sexy son of a bitch!'

Well maybe not in that context exactly but I think we both get the idea of what the women want. And for all you, who haven't experienced the volcano of sexual pleasure that is The Katou, I have one hint for you:

Fourteen inches black...baby.

The only reason I got sober was because...well...I got caught, and they forced me to, and to be honest I never really got back into it. It's amazing to know that it wasn't the drugs that made me stupid, it just intensified it.

You may think that when I sat in rehab I was thinking something, but no, monkeys and other primates were cleaning the lice and scabies out of their fur and eating it. And then a midget and an elephant spawned a love child and his name was Humphrey...

Okay...so maybe I'm not what most would call 'sober'...but what is sober other than the lack of drugs? ...Look it up in the dictionary jack-nuts!

But...some things have changed...

Kira's gone...he and Lucifer left a long time ago, and I haven't seen them since. So I've gone from a secondary character in a tragedy, to the only one in the sad monologue which has become to be known as my life...

...I still want to name it Katou's Fantasy Land...

I'm not so alone, I've got a group of friends, not much better than the ones I had before, like Youji, but atleast they don't try to ditch me and leave me with the 'goods'.

We're the kind of adults that never really escaped what most would call teendom. In fact, we have a lot of kids still in high school that we see every week or so.

We're also the kind of people that do really fucked up shit, on or off drugs. Like put a cat on top of a fan and then suddenly start it so it flies off and hits the wall...

...I read about it...I swears on the precious...

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I know, short this time around, but I need some Ideas of where you want this to go. Do you want Katou to talk about things that have happened in the world over the past few years, or just senseless Katou drivel...or a mix of both.

Reviews are appreciated! Thank you!