Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, sadly.
Author's Note: This is set directly after ep. 4x07 It's The Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester. Also, it's a crossover with Charmed but this first chapter is just the boys. Only a mention of California until the next chapter... Read and Review!

Chapter One, The Very Thing He Hates

The black smoke had dissipated and Sam lowered his arm back to his side. He tried so hard to keep his eyes locked onto the ground because he knew that Dean was standing close by, watching. But despite his better judgment he had glanced up and locked gazes with his big brother, his heart sinking when he saw his face.

He was told many times about using his powers. He wasn't supposed to. And he had promised Dean that he'd stop. He'd broken that promise tonight.

It seemed like an eternity before Sam willed himself to look away. He brought his hand up to touch his face and he found himself staring at his own blood. It didn't hurt. He knew he had a splitting headache from trying so hard but surprisingly, it didn't hurt.

He lowered his hand back down and looked over at Dean again. He didn't know what to do. He found himself rooted to the spot, afraid to approach him. And over on Dean's side it was the same. He was afraid, too. Afraid. Of Sam? No, that can't be right.

'That's still Sam. Still my little brother,' he reassured himself, 'Then why am I so scared?'

Then it hit him. Dean was scared for Sam, not of Sam. He was scared for what he can become if he continues on doing this. Using his powers. He had even seen his brother's eyes gleam a pure, dark black but only for a split second. Only.

He was convinced that Sam could beat this. That he wouldn't turn. 'Because if Sam succumbs to the dark side, then I'll have to...' Dean shuddered, he didn't even want to think about it. Sam could still be saved. He was still Sam. He wasn't gone yet.

Then yet...

I've got demon blood in me, Dean! This disease pumping through my veins and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean. I'm a whole new level of freak!

Sam's words echoed in his head. 'Can't ever rip it out...' Still Sam. '...or scrub it clean.' Not gone yet. Just because this... thing... was permanent didn't mean there wasn't a way to suppress it. There had to be a way.

Because the thought of Sam slipping away... Dean wouldn't be able to survive it.

Over on the other side of the room, Sam slowly found his voice. "Dean..."

Dean closed his eyes and shook his head. "C'mon, Sam," he told him, cutting him off and beckoning for him to follow.

Sam swallowed hard. How was he going to explain this?

ooooo

The next day, the boys were on their way down to visit Bobby. He had called them to discuss another demon problem in some other town and instead of him going all the way out to see them, they were going to him. Dean had yelled at him over the phone for being so lazy but had agreed anyway.

Sam had his head leaning against the window. It felt cool on his forehead and he needed a cooldown after the words that Uriel had spoken back at the motel.

The only reason you're still alive, Sam Winchester, is because you've been useful.

How had he been useful? Even Sam had to ask himself this question even though he feels he's done nothing wrong. Is it because he and Dean have been battling demons and monsters and everything that goes bump in the night? Because he's one of the psychic kids and he's the key to finding out what Azazel's major plan is? And what does Uriel really see happening with him if he continues using his powers?

How bad would he really get?

The moment that ceases to be true, the second you become more trouble than you're worth...

"Hey, Sammy, penny for your thoughts?" Dean asked, through a mouthful of something chocolate, Sam couldn't tell.

Sam lifted his head up enough to glance at him in digust. He really was a glutton. He scrunched his nose and shook his head.

"Nothing, just resting..."

Dean raised his eyebrow but just brushed it off as nothing for now.

"If you're sure," he droned the word out and cast a glance back at Sam just in case he decided to crack. But nothing. Silence. Dean huffed silently and rolled his eyes. "Fine. We're here anyway."

He pulled the Impala up onto the grass and Sam looked at Bobby's decrepit house. It really needed a paint job.

"Decrepit like him..." He muttered and his eyes got wide, hand stopped above the door handle as he realized what he had just said. Dean glared at him.

"Hey, don't talk about the guy like that. What's wrong with you?"

Sam was speechless. What the hell was that? It was like his demon side had taken over for a split second and he had no control.

Then he heard a tap on the window. Startling out of his thoughts, Sam looked out the window at Dean who was standing there impatiently. "You comin' or not?"

He nodded wordlessly and clambered out of the car. He trudged behind Dean with his hands deep in his pockets. As they approached the front door and Dean knocked on it, he glanced back at Sam.

"Don't talk like that while we're here, yeah? No trouble."

Sam's eyes widened briefly.

One word...

What was he turning into? Or was it all him? Nothing was doing this to him but himself.

The door was open and Bobby was grinning at them, welcoming Dean with a manly hug while Sam was stuck in his thoughts once more.

He had to stop himself before he hurt someone.

"Hello?? Earth to Sammy... dude, what's with you today?" Dean had dragged him out of his thoughts again. Sam was unaware of the growing panic inside of Dean.

Sam shook his head again and gave the same reply as before. "Nothing..."

'Same lie, you mean.'

He wasn't sure what was a lie or not anymore.

He followed them inside and the door was shut behind them. Dean and Bobby were walking ahead of him and Sam was pacing himself behind them. He seemed to be walking in slow motion.

Now they were discussing something happening in San Francisco. But Sam didn't care.

Right now, he only cared about what was happening to him.

He didn't even notice the worried glances that Dean was sending him.

He was only noticing what was starting to happen to him. Only the little things were triggering it right now. Though slowly but surely...

One... and I will turn you to dust.

Slowly but surely he was going to become the very thing that he hated. A demon.