Disclaimer: I don't own Terra. Sorry.
A/N: This story is connected to my other Terra centric (sort of) stories, Fairy Tale Nights and Missing You. I hope you enjoy. Just so you know.
Images
A One-Shot
The wind whispers to me sometimes, when I am quiet enough to hear it, if I want to listen.
When this first started happening at first I was frightened. I did not know what was going on, I did not understand why the voices were whisper screaming at me. I did not know what they were saying. I just heard the voices and hoped to God that I was not going crazy.
I wasn't.
Once I listened hard enough I understood what they were saying. The winds told me a story about a girl with flaxen hair who pretended to be something that she was not. They told me that this girl had traveled far and wide and found many beautiful things and yet never found herself.
Remember, the air knows everything and it sees all.
oOo
The open sky frightens me. There is too much of it and the sheer vastness of it all terrifies me. All of that black, all of the stars. Who knows what else is out there?
My family thinks that I am crazy. They enjoy a starry night out in the open air. They find pictures in the chaotic blob of stars. They all can tell stories and name names.
I have no such desire. I turned my head against the sleeping bag and shut my eyes tight. I enjoy the city, where the only lights that you can see are the ones that man has made. There is order and reason there, unlike the things that the gods created. You can see the source of the light on a pole.
If you don't know where something started how can you know for sure that it even exists?
oOo
Once I put my bare hand on a piece of plain earth just to see what would happen.
It was dry and hard and cracked, and yet the ground felt alive. For a moment there I could see the Earth as a whole. I could feel the sheer mass of it, the way that Earth touches every bit of this planet, even the water. If there was no ground, what would hold up the world.
The crust of the Earth is what protects us from what is underneath. Scientists say that the crust is thin and weak, but in that moment I knew that this was not true.
I took a deep breath through my nose and could smell it, I felt it and it felt soft but there was a quiet pulse beneath that let me know that it was alive.
The power was intoxicating. I leaned in even closer and then...
All of a sudden I could see the ugly side of the Earth.
I saw how when it got angry it ripped apart and put whole cities into ruination on a whim. I saw how that sometimes the earth refused to share its bounty and let whole civilizations starve. Earthquakes, volcanoes, plates moving and colliding and rubbing and pulling all to shape its need and no one else.
The Earth is selfish. The Earth is unkind. The Earth is powerful and yet at the same time corrupt. It does things for its own pleasure and does not care who it hurts.
For a moment I saw the faces of three unrecognizable people float in front of my eyes. I had never seen these people before in my life and yet for some reason I felt enormous guilt when I saw them.
I then pulled my hand away and tried to breathe normally.
Since then I have not placed a bare hand or foot on the ground again.
oOo
I hate running.
To me running from something to someone is a sign of weakness. While running may strengthen your body it doesn't strengthen your mind. It takes you away from the things that need to be faced head first and dead on.
Running is avoiding. Running is leaving. Running is used to get you away from somewhere or something. It's not for anything good.
Beyond that, though, is that when I run the wind becomes louder and clearer. Instead of just hearing the story of that tragic girl I see it too. My mind remembers what my heart wanted it to forget, but then just like that it is gone.
But the glimpses I remember.
A green boy, a deep cave, a real home, a bath, a dark haired boy, confusion, jealously, fear, anger, a dark man with darker motives, a group of friends like none she had never had before, sorrow, hatred, love... all of these things I keep locked deep in my heart only to be brought out in the most desperate of moments.
I am afraid that if I look at her story too much I may just remember the life that comes with it.
oOo
When the green boy came and visited me I could suddenly remember more parts of this story. But instead of being fiction it was as if the story became real. I could feel this girls fear and power. I could feel her hatred and anger.
I didn't want it to be real.
This was supposed to be just a story, just something that the world tormented me with. I wasn't supposed to be in it, and it wasn't supposed to make me feel as though it was me.
So I got angry, and I told that boy that I had no idea what he was talking about. I was lying, of course, and I could see how much that bothered him, but I think that I did that for the best. Now he will get over this 'Terra' and leave me alone.
Then the dark haired boy came. When I saw him instead, of feeling angry or frightened I felt her love and her hope for the future. Then her dispair came rushing to me and I did not know what to do or what to say.
I recognized both of them, but this was the one that I wanted to remember. She didn't betray him, she didn't hurt him, she didn't break his heart like she broke the other one's. At least, I don't think she did.
He only stayed a little bit, I think that he just wanted to see if I was that girl. When he realized that I wasn't he left, but I wonder what would have happened if I would have told him that I remember him the way the girl remembered him, with hope and love and awe?
I am not who they want me to be. I never can be. I can only be myself, and that will never be enough for them.
I am only myself.
oOo
This past life will haunt me forever, but I am not afraid, because I know that ghosts aren't real. They are just the images of things that people don't want to let go of. They may haunt you and never leave you alone, but they are just of the mind.
Remember that, dear friend.
A/N: This is a going away present. I hope that you like it, and don't think that it's too out there and weird. And no, I don't know where it came from either. Most of my Terra stuff ends up like that, doesn't it? Hope you guys enjoy!