Author: I'll have to put this in 14pt or no one will read it. ( act, probably no one will, sigh! ) Mary Sues out there, please do not be too offended by this fic. I really did read some pleasantly surprising strories written by Mary Sues. I was not in my right mind when I wrote this, nay, say that I had actually completely promised myself from ever writing another fic. But, here you have it! My first Lord of the Rings fic which should not have been written, esp not by me! However, I do dedicate the middle section of this fic to those brilliant authors out there..... Thundera Tiger, Dwimordene,Ithilien , littlefish, plasticChevy , Jocelyn, Lynliss, Cassia, asparagus, Nissa , mercat, JastaElf, Mea , Volcan of Dragonfire , Robinyj69......Love you guys! ( As if they would read this! )
Btw, none of the characters belong to me....yup, not even the mysterious woman leader. Although, I do make a cameo appearance. Guest who? :o) oh, and if my friend who figures out it's me and reading this, please forgive me for the reference to your story, which is a really wonderful story. I meant no offense to your story, really! :o)
Mirror of Insanity
by a half-insane author.
Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood, fair and tall, was not one to fall back from a dare. He glared at the dwarf by his side.
" You do know that you are risking my sanity by this dare of yours?"
"Aye, lad, your sanity, not mine." the dwarf smirk.
Legolas suppressed a deep sigh. Even though he was 2000 years older than Gimli, it never failed that the dwarf called him lad.
" I'll have you know that were it not for your word of honour I would not be doing this?" the prince said levelly.
Gimli laughed "On my word, no one will know about this, especially not Aragorn! "
The elf closed his eyes. " By the Valar," he thought, " If words of this leaks out to even the hobbits, my pride and dignity would forever be tarnished! "
"What are you waiting for, elf?" the dwarfs words broke into his thoughts.
" I'm waiting for my unseen temperamental anger to be laid bare on you! "
" 'Twas your idea, not mine! "
" I only commented it would be nice to see the vision of middle earth created by our fans "
" But you did not know about the abstract personalities created around you?" the dwarf asked.
" Nay, and if Arda forbid, I should ever faced them! " The prince cried out.
Gimli lay in silence, smoking his pipe " You should read some of the 'Legolas' personalities created by your fans. Those Mary..."
" Please do not speak such a blasphemous word! I fear I would never rid my mind of it! " The elf interrupted hastily.
But the dwarf was not in a forgiving mood. In fact, he was enjoying tormenting the elf.
" As I was saying, these Mary sues, has created, should I say, interesting personalities of you. Why, there was these really nice one where you fall in love with an elven princess who found out that you are actually in love with the king of Gondor! " Tears welled up in the dwarfs eyes as he roared in laughter.
" If you must know, were it not for the fact that you are one of my dearest friend, I would have struck you down this very minute for even suggesting feelings between me and Aragorn. I do not doubt he would do the same! " Legolas cried out.
Gimly rubbed away his tear stained eyes " You're forgetting Arwen too!"
The son of Thranduil sighed deeply. " Elvellon, please spare me then embarrassment. I have the deepest respect for the king and queen of Gondor. Now would you please be quiet! "
"I will only offer my silence when you step into the mirror."Gimli said, motioning towards the offending piece.
Legolas looked towards the object of his torment. It was nothing more than a mirror, reminding the prince of the mirror of Galadriel. But what stood before him was no ordinary mirror. In fact, the mirror seemed to flow like water, never spilling its precious contents, though it was positioned vertically.
The mirror was one of the hidden objects found in the glittering caves, a powerful mystic object, which supposedly allows the user to enter another realm for only an hour. Gimli had used the mirror once he knew of its potential, and he was pleasantly suprised with the results. Where he went to, he would never tell. However, he felt its gift could be put to a better use, and Legolas had the misfortune of visiting his friend while Gimli was plotting and evil plan for his victim. Thus, Gimli had dared Legolas to enter the realm of the fan fiction world created by Legolas's fans. (Authors note: Just pretend they knew fanfiction.net existed! :-))
" If I do not return in my full mind, you will have to answer to my people!" the Lord of Ithilien said.
" By Balin's beard, I'll hit you on the head twice to make sure you're still sane. Now, step into the mirror!" Gimli commanded as if to a squire.
Sending one more of his stern elvish glares to the dwarf, which would have caused an orc to
flee in terror, Legolas took a final calming breath, and walked into the mirror.
It was a pleasant sensation, not at all the painful feeling Legolas expected. He stepped out from the mirror and found himself in the forest of mirkwood. Nothing seemed unusual, in fact, it looked exactly like the forest surrounding his father's palace.
"Perhaps there is nothing here to fear after all," the elf mused silently.
In the next few seconds, the prince had to choke back on his words.
Hordes of screaming girls were falling from the air, landing, amazingly, unhurt on the ground. Actually, to the amazement of Legolas's keened eyes, some of their falls were stopped by a likeness of his being, who began to offer profound apologies to the strange beings.
"By Valar, who are there people? Not....." his words were broken off by ominous chanting from somewhere within the forest.
"Death to Mary Sues! Death to Mary Sues!"
A group of people, man and woman alike, burst out of the foliage like a well trained army, and began running after the screaming girls, who by now were running for their lives. The 'Legolas' likeness stood in total confusion, as a small battle took place around them. Most of the girls were captured, and were zapped away by small twinkling objects held by the victorious group.
The real Legolas was in a complete state of shock. He knew about the Mary Sues, but he had never heard of these other group of people. One by one, he watched with amazed eyes, the Legolas likeness around him were slowly disappearing as the group went about zapping them away. One of the group approached him, and pointed the twinkling object at him. She smiled apologetically at him, then said " Sorry it had to be like this, but you're not the real portrayal of Legolas". She then held the object towards him and clicked it.
Legolas blinked, and was filled with relief that he had not disappeared with the rest. The woman frowned, tapped her object twice, and pointed it at him again. Nothing happened.
"Hey, Nat. Something's wrong with my fic-neutralizer!" the woman yelled at someone behind her.
A young man raced towards her, glanced at Legolas apologetically and zapped his object at him.
" Hey, mine's not working either!" he yelled.
"I beg your pardon," Legolas said, managing to find his voice at last. " But I am not from the fan fiction world. My friend Gimli dared me to enter this mirror and...."
" Holy shit!" The guy called Nat cried out. " You're the real Legolas!"
"You are, aren't you?" the woman said, wonder in her tone.
Legolas Greenleaf, son of King Thranduil, one of the Nine Walkers, and a good friend of Men, was rendered speechless for a second time.
" Well of course he is! Look at him! He isn't some blubbering idiot who falls for every girl who lands on him. " Nat said. (Mary Sues: HEY!)
" I really have to be going now." the elf managed, wondering what he would do with whatever sanity he had left.
" Oh no you're not, you just got here! " the woman said, pulling him towards the others. Whatever strength the elf had left him and he mutely followed her.
" Hey guys! This is the real Legolas! " She shouted towards the others.
Soon, an excited group of people had him surrounded.
" Could I see you fire an arrow..."
" Could you teach me some elvish phrase..." (jeez, that sounded so Mary Sueish! )
" Bring us to the real middle earth! "
" I would love to see Gondor! "
" Hey, leave the poor elf alone! "
The group parted for a young woman to step through.
" It is nice to see you, Prince of Mirkwood " she smiled, and graciously bowed before him.
" I am afraid I am at lost. I do not know who you people are." Legolas said.
" Know only that we are authors who would keep your true spirit intact. Although there are only a few of us at the moment, we are here always to preserve the soul that was bestowed upon you by Tolkien." the woman spoke.
" And rid the world of Mary Sues!" the young woman who had pulled him towards the group spoke up.( Mary Sues, AGAIN: HEY! )
" I th...thank you, " the prince had never stuttered before, and wondered at this ailment. Perhaps Gimli could remedy him by hitting him on the head, hard.
" I know you are a bit confused now, but we would like to thank you also for how your personality has inspired stories written by us which we would never have imagined." she said evenly.
Legolas could only nod in complete befuddlement. The people around him were looking at him with respect and wonder in their eyes as if he were the King of Gondor himself.
" How long can you stay? " the mysterious woman, who apparently was the leader, asked him.
" About an hour," the elf heard himself say.
" Only and hour! Why can't you stay longer?" a young girl at his side pouted.
" Oh, don't be a Mary Sue, Gina!" Nat called out.
" Perhaps and hour is fitting enough for us to know more about the elf of the fellowship of the ring. Come, Prince of Mirkwood, regal us with stories of you and your friends," their leader said.
Thus, it was during that precious hour for his true fans, the confused Legolas soon found his group of fans fascinating as they told him of stories they had conjured about him and his friends. He would often correct them politely when one of them told stories that were far too wild for imaginings, and he would listen with a hearty laughter at their account of the hobbits. Soon, it was time to leave, and all felt a deep sense of sorrow, for the mirror which had brought him into their world soon reappeared.
Legolas stood before his multitude of fans, which were before strangers, but now had become friends.
" I fear I must leave you, my friends. However, I would like to thank you again for the wonderful hour I have spent with you. May the light of Elbereth shine on you all." and with the final parting words, Legolas stepped back into the mirror, and was transported back to the real middle earth.
The group stood in silence for a while. Nat broke the silence by exclaiming, " And I never got to see him work with his bow an arrow!"
As if in answer, an elvish made arrow flew within inches of him, and struck a nearby tree.
" Wow! That was awesome! " Nat cried out! (Author: Yeah, right!)
Their leader laughed " Well there you have it, Nat. The true Prince Legolas."
*****
" Well, how did it go? "
Legolas cast a glare in his direction (Author: He seems to be doing that whenever he's around Gimli. )
" By the forces of Arda, I was never in more complete shock than I ever was when I stepped into the mirror. However, I did meet some interesting people." The elf mused thoughtfully.
Gimli frowned. " Indeed. So, master elf, do I have the need to hit you on the head? "
A mischievous smile flitted briefly across the elf's lips. " Nay, I have a better idea! "
What this better idea was soon dawned upon the dwarf as the elf lifted him with ease and threw him not so gently towards the magic mirror.
" Now master dwarf, let's see how you fare with your horde of fans! "
And with that, the elf strode away without so much of a backward glance.
" I'll get you for this, stupid elf!" a far roaring cry could be heard dimly, which was soon muted by screaming fans.
*****
p.s: I know I probably got Legolas's and Gimli's personality wrong somewhere, but give me a moment for pity's sake ( I sound like Boromir! ). It would be the result of reading too many different fics at one time ( which happens to everyone, I'm sure....or maybe not! I was catching up on weeks of missed-out fanfics after all! ) as well as having a muddled head.
So, may the Valar and Tolkien forgive me!
Btw, none of the characters belong to me....yup, not even the mysterious woman leader. Although, I do make a cameo appearance. Guest who? :o) oh, and if my friend who figures out it's me and reading this, please forgive me for the reference to your story, which is a really wonderful story. I meant no offense to your story, really! :o)
Mirror of Insanity
by a half-insane author.
Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood, fair and tall, was not one to fall back from a dare. He glared at the dwarf by his side.
" You do know that you are risking my sanity by this dare of yours?"
"Aye, lad, your sanity, not mine." the dwarf smirk.
Legolas suppressed a deep sigh. Even though he was 2000 years older than Gimli, it never failed that the dwarf called him lad.
" I'll have you know that were it not for your word of honour I would not be doing this?" the prince said levelly.
Gimli laughed "On my word, no one will know about this, especially not Aragorn! "
The elf closed his eyes. " By the Valar," he thought, " If words of this leaks out to even the hobbits, my pride and dignity would forever be tarnished! "
"What are you waiting for, elf?" the dwarfs words broke into his thoughts.
" I'm waiting for my unseen temperamental anger to be laid bare on you! "
" 'Twas your idea, not mine! "
" I only commented it would be nice to see the vision of middle earth created by our fans "
" But you did not know about the abstract personalities created around you?" the dwarf asked.
" Nay, and if Arda forbid, I should ever faced them! " The prince cried out.
Gimli lay in silence, smoking his pipe " You should read some of the 'Legolas' personalities created by your fans. Those Mary..."
" Please do not speak such a blasphemous word! I fear I would never rid my mind of it! " The elf interrupted hastily.
But the dwarf was not in a forgiving mood. In fact, he was enjoying tormenting the elf.
" As I was saying, these Mary sues, has created, should I say, interesting personalities of you. Why, there was these really nice one where you fall in love with an elven princess who found out that you are actually in love with the king of Gondor! " Tears welled up in the dwarfs eyes as he roared in laughter.
" If you must know, were it not for the fact that you are one of my dearest friend, I would have struck you down this very minute for even suggesting feelings between me and Aragorn. I do not doubt he would do the same! " Legolas cried out.
Gimly rubbed away his tear stained eyes " You're forgetting Arwen too!"
The son of Thranduil sighed deeply. " Elvellon, please spare me then embarrassment. I have the deepest respect for the king and queen of Gondor. Now would you please be quiet! "
"I will only offer my silence when you step into the mirror."Gimli said, motioning towards the offending piece.
Legolas looked towards the object of his torment. It was nothing more than a mirror, reminding the prince of the mirror of Galadriel. But what stood before him was no ordinary mirror. In fact, the mirror seemed to flow like water, never spilling its precious contents, though it was positioned vertically.
The mirror was one of the hidden objects found in the glittering caves, a powerful mystic object, which supposedly allows the user to enter another realm for only an hour. Gimli had used the mirror once he knew of its potential, and he was pleasantly suprised with the results. Where he went to, he would never tell. However, he felt its gift could be put to a better use, and Legolas had the misfortune of visiting his friend while Gimli was plotting and evil plan for his victim. Thus, Gimli had dared Legolas to enter the realm of the fan fiction world created by Legolas's fans. (Authors note: Just pretend they knew fanfiction.net existed! :-))
" If I do not return in my full mind, you will have to answer to my people!" the Lord of Ithilien said.
" By Balin's beard, I'll hit you on the head twice to make sure you're still sane. Now, step into the mirror!" Gimli commanded as if to a squire.
Sending one more of his stern elvish glares to the dwarf, which would have caused an orc to
flee in terror, Legolas took a final calming breath, and walked into the mirror.
It was a pleasant sensation, not at all the painful feeling Legolas expected. He stepped out from the mirror and found himself in the forest of mirkwood. Nothing seemed unusual, in fact, it looked exactly like the forest surrounding his father's palace.
"Perhaps there is nothing here to fear after all," the elf mused silently.
In the next few seconds, the prince had to choke back on his words.
Hordes of screaming girls were falling from the air, landing, amazingly, unhurt on the ground. Actually, to the amazement of Legolas's keened eyes, some of their falls were stopped by a likeness of his being, who began to offer profound apologies to the strange beings.
"By Valar, who are there people? Not....." his words were broken off by ominous chanting from somewhere within the forest.
"Death to Mary Sues! Death to Mary Sues!"
A group of people, man and woman alike, burst out of the foliage like a well trained army, and began running after the screaming girls, who by now were running for their lives. The 'Legolas' likeness stood in total confusion, as a small battle took place around them. Most of the girls were captured, and were zapped away by small twinkling objects held by the victorious group.
The real Legolas was in a complete state of shock. He knew about the Mary Sues, but he had never heard of these other group of people. One by one, he watched with amazed eyes, the Legolas likeness around him were slowly disappearing as the group went about zapping them away. One of the group approached him, and pointed the twinkling object at him. She smiled apologetically at him, then said " Sorry it had to be like this, but you're not the real portrayal of Legolas". She then held the object towards him and clicked it.
Legolas blinked, and was filled with relief that he had not disappeared with the rest. The woman frowned, tapped her object twice, and pointed it at him again. Nothing happened.
"Hey, Nat. Something's wrong with my fic-neutralizer!" the woman yelled at someone behind her.
A young man raced towards her, glanced at Legolas apologetically and zapped his object at him.
" Hey, mine's not working either!" he yelled.
"I beg your pardon," Legolas said, managing to find his voice at last. " But I am not from the fan fiction world. My friend Gimli dared me to enter this mirror and...."
" Holy shit!" The guy called Nat cried out. " You're the real Legolas!"
"You are, aren't you?" the woman said, wonder in her tone.
Legolas Greenleaf, son of King Thranduil, one of the Nine Walkers, and a good friend of Men, was rendered speechless for a second time.
" Well of course he is! Look at him! He isn't some blubbering idiot who falls for every girl who lands on him. " Nat said. (Mary Sues: HEY!)
" I really have to be going now." the elf managed, wondering what he would do with whatever sanity he had left.
" Oh no you're not, you just got here! " the woman said, pulling him towards the others. Whatever strength the elf had left him and he mutely followed her.
" Hey guys! This is the real Legolas! " She shouted towards the others.
Soon, an excited group of people had him surrounded.
" Could I see you fire an arrow..."
" Could you teach me some elvish phrase..." (jeez, that sounded so Mary Sueish! )
" Bring us to the real middle earth! "
" I would love to see Gondor! "
" Hey, leave the poor elf alone! "
The group parted for a young woman to step through.
" It is nice to see you, Prince of Mirkwood " she smiled, and graciously bowed before him.
" I am afraid I am at lost. I do not know who you people are." Legolas said.
" Know only that we are authors who would keep your true spirit intact. Although there are only a few of us at the moment, we are here always to preserve the soul that was bestowed upon you by Tolkien." the woman spoke.
" And rid the world of Mary Sues!" the young woman who had pulled him towards the group spoke up.( Mary Sues, AGAIN: HEY! )
" I th...thank you, " the prince had never stuttered before, and wondered at this ailment. Perhaps Gimli could remedy him by hitting him on the head, hard.
" I know you are a bit confused now, but we would like to thank you also for how your personality has inspired stories written by us which we would never have imagined." she said evenly.
Legolas could only nod in complete befuddlement. The people around him were looking at him with respect and wonder in their eyes as if he were the King of Gondor himself.
" How long can you stay? " the mysterious woman, who apparently was the leader, asked him.
" About an hour," the elf heard himself say.
" Only and hour! Why can't you stay longer?" a young girl at his side pouted.
" Oh, don't be a Mary Sue, Gina!" Nat called out.
" Perhaps and hour is fitting enough for us to know more about the elf of the fellowship of the ring. Come, Prince of Mirkwood, regal us with stories of you and your friends," their leader said.
Thus, it was during that precious hour for his true fans, the confused Legolas soon found his group of fans fascinating as they told him of stories they had conjured about him and his friends. He would often correct them politely when one of them told stories that were far too wild for imaginings, and he would listen with a hearty laughter at their account of the hobbits. Soon, it was time to leave, and all felt a deep sense of sorrow, for the mirror which had brought him into their world soon reappeared.
Legolas stood before his multitude of fans, which were before strangers, but now had become friends.
" I fear I must leave you, my friends. However, I would like to thank you again for the wonderful hour I have spent with you. May the light of Elbereth shine on you all." and with the final parting words, Legolas stepped back into the mirror, and was transported back to the real middle earth.
The group stood in silence for a while. Nat broke the silence by exclaiming, " And I never got to see him work with his bow an arrow!"
As if in answer, an elvish made arrow flew within inches of him, and struck a nearby tree.
" Wow! That was awesome! " Nat cried out! (Author: Yeah, right!)
Their leader laughed " Well there you have it, Nat. The true Prince Legolas."
*****
" Well, how did it go? "
Legolas cast a glare in his direction (Author: He seems to be doing that whenever he's around Gimli. )
" By the forces of Arda, I was never in more complete shock than I ever was when I stepped into the mirror. However, I did meet some interesting people." The elf mused thoughtfully.
Gimli frowned. " Indeed. So, master elf, do I have the need to hit you on the head? "
A mischievous smile flitted briefly across the elf's lips. " Nay, I have a better idea! "
What this better idea was soon dawned upon the dwarf as the elf lifted him with ease and threw him not so gently towards the magic mirror.
" Now master dwarf, let's see how you fare with your horde of fans! "
And with that, the elf strode away without so much of a backward glance.
" I'll get you for this, stupid elf!" a far roaring cry could be heard dimly, which was soon muted by screaming fans.
*****
p.s: I know I probably got Legolas's and Gimli's personality wrong somewhere, but give me a moment for pity's sake ( I sound like Boromir! ). It would be the result of reading too many different fics at one time ( which happens to everyone, I'm sure....or maybe not! I was catching up on weeks of missed-out fanfics after all! ) as well as having a muddled head.
So, may the Valar and Tolkien forgive me!