by Fivil
A/N + Disclaimer: I was bored, needed to fix my mind something and since I hadn't written any fanfiction lately, I started to think about Rude.. Then I just wrote. Rude, Shinra, Turks and the whole FF7 World are owned and copyrighted to Squaresoft, not me. Rated PG-13 for the naughty mouth of Rude and Reno. Might suggest any pairings, basicly. So might also suggest yaoi. But isn't! ^^;
Booze. Alcohol. The drug of the wisest and the most idiotic. I didn't give a shit tonight. Morals were different down in the smoky bars of the nasty underworld. I'm not going to make it all sound really goddamn dramatic or glamorous. I'm not going to say anything about what I think of all the shitheads who make big money in Midgar, nore am I going to say anything about the shitheads who make big money in the underground Midgar. They're different worlds, but the whole game's basically the same. Survival of the most cunning. You don't need to be witty, you just need to be an asshole. Put all emotions aside.
My friends weren't being very cunning tonight. Lane, or should I call her Elena since we work together and shit, was just giggling on her chair, very drunk. She would've been a special prey among these drunken bastards just wanting to get high and get laid, but in her navy-blue uniform she wasn't exactly a catch. Every man in this bar feared her. Not many women had been in her shoes, worked as Turks. Fuck, even I feared her. Lane had never fought seriously. She just acted like she was serious, but I knew she had more power than she cared to show. I didn't care, as long as she didn't deceive the Turks. And Lane wasn't that stupid.
Reno wouldn't deceive the Turks either. It was the only thing this poor excuse for human held on to. His profession, his job. That dirty, ragged uniform was his most priced possesion along with his weapon. We're the same, Reno and I. Or that's what he always makes me believe. Brother to a brother. Our endless conversations on money, work, romance and sex. If someone shot Reno they might as well shoot me too. Brothers. Turks 'til the end.
Yeah, right. I feel sorry for Reno. He used to be such a lively feller. He wasn't out to hunt down people who didn't believe in Shinra, he had faith in something else. I don't know what that something is, but somewhere along the way, during the 10 years I've worked alongside with this man, he lost it. He never got it back, it left an empty hole inside of him and now he's filled the spot with some immoral shite the old Reno didn't appreciate. I don't feel like analysing it any further. I just saw what I saw. Or maybe I just think I saw it.
The problem with people is that we see so many lies, so many stories that we forget that life itself ain't a folks' tale, twisted in the mouths of strangers. Nore are we living in a huge play. If life is supposed to be real, why do people just pretend, lie and deceit?
Maybe life's just more fun that way.
I'm not preaching. I fucking hate people who do that. It's not up to me to decide what other people's lives should be like. I just can't make out my own, either. I talked to Lane about this once. She has a really fucking positive outlook on life. It's like all birds and sunshine to her. Maybe she's faking, girls are good in that. Maybe I'm just jealous of her world. Her world's the same as mine, but she just sees different things. She doesn't see the rotten society, she sees all the good things that she holds dear to herself. Fucking hell, Lane. How do you do it?
Oh great, she's passed out and Reno's trying to carry her. I just follow. I don't say a word. I've got nothing to say. Reno's bitching about something. I don't listen. I usually do. Not right now. The stars on the skies...
"For fuck's sake, Rude! Would you look at her now!"
Lane's down on the ground, on her knees, puking and crying. She's sobbing out words, Reno lights up a cigarette and ignores her.
"Elena, told you not to drink that vodka, but you just never listen to me! It's your own fault." he says and blows the smoke out. It disappears slowly in the air against the dark blue sky. The stars...
Elena's up again, she tries to hit Reno but falls over again. Reno laughs and picks her up. She starts to cry again. I glance at the sky. To just get away... Far away...
"We should do this another time."
"We do it too many times" Lane sobs and wraps her arms around Reno. I don't understand Lane sometimes.
'You never think of girls, do you?' was the first question Reno asked me after we had worked together as the new generation Turks for the first week. I always think of girls, was my reply, meant as a joke. I didn't know what love was, perhaps it was the opposite of solitude. I knew what solitude was.
"Lane, are you coming onto me?"
"You wish."
One of the stars is shining intensively. Is it Jupiter maybe? I don't know about astrology.
"Hey Rude, let's go. Got some work to do tomorrow."
"You don't work, Reno, you bum around."
"Your tongue is so sharp, slashing me so hard I'm bleeding, Elena."
"Thank you. Bum."
"RUDE! C'mon!"
I just stare at Reno for a while. 'If I'd die, would you die with me?' my eyes asks him. His eyes don't answer. They used to answer. Right away they would communicate, response to my look, tell me he felt exactly the same..
...But no longer was it like that. Reno was a fading memory of the Reno that once was. Elena wasn't fading, I hoped. She had everything in her. It was no time to get all sobby, but I just felt like crying.
Cry. For fuck's sake.. No tears. No tears left to cry, I had wept them all a long time ago. Elena looked at me.
"Let's go, Rude.. Come on.." she begged.
I took a step, another. And so we walked on. It was all too scary for us to stay put. It was all too scary to think, to become fragile for one moment.
Brothers and Sisters. Turks 'til the end. Minute too long and we'd be shattered. We didn't want that. Underground Midgar leaves it's scars, so does the bittersweet life on the Plate. I didn't care. Not tonight.
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