CHAPTER 1 - The Haircut
"Bella! What did you do? Your hair!" Charlie exclaimed as he walked into the kitchen. His eyes wide with astonishment.
Bella had chopped all her brown locks down to her chin. She was being rebellious against her better judgement. Feeling utterly miserable from Edward leaving, she wanted everyone to feel as miserable as her. Might as well start with something small.
"Leave me alone, Charlie." Bella's tone was cruel.
Charlie's face took in her expression with the new haircut. This wasn't the daughter he knew when she moved to Forks. Dark circles under her eyes from no sleep, donned in mostly black clothing, like she was mourning. Bella's hair short and stringy, uneven from the shears she used to cut her hair.
Before he arrived at home, Bella had decided to change her ways. She didn't want to be responsible anymore. She wanted to lash out at the world. Everyone she knew. Who cares? Obviously not Edward. He left. He left. No. No more tears for him anymore. He's gone.
My heart is gone so I don't care anymore. I DON'T CARE!
She thought to herself as Charlie watched her from the kitchen entrance. Bella took in a deep breath to dash the thoughts out of her mind.
Charlie observed her as she sat at the kitchen table staring at the tabletop. His heart was torn, but only halfway, when he heard of Bella's disappearance after Edward Cullen left. Now it was tearing apart completely, grieving for his daughter. What was going on? What was she doing? A complete 360 change in her in just 2 days. This was not like her. Bella was not Bella anymore.
"Bella? Honey..." Charlie tried to be soothing. He slowly walked closer to place his hand on her shoulder. Before he could even touch her, she sat up from the table. A crazed look upon her face.
"I said...LEAVE ME ALONE!!" she screamed from the top of her lungs.
Bella ran from the kitchen up the stairs, her footsteps heavy on each step. Reaching her room, she slammed the door with such force, it shook the walls of the kitchen. Sounds of glass breaking and objects being thrown around was all he could hear from upstairs. Charlie's face pained and the sting of tears threatened. He gave up, didn't know what to do anymore. Feeling utterly weak, he stumbled to the chair that Bella had just occupied. Hands on his face, Charlie cried helplessly.
* * *
It was Monday, time to start a new week of school. The thought of ditching school crossed Bella's mind, but what would be the point of staying home if her goal was to make everyone's life a living hell? The only person who would be miserable would be her. Alone at home. Alone. The word alone caused her to get up immediately.
Bella sat up from her bed slowly and eyed her disaster of a room. Her destruction from last night was all over the floor. Smiling approvingly, she headed to the bathroom. It didn't take her long to get ready for school. No more long hair to tend to, black attire was easy to come by, no mess to clean up after. In the kitchen, Bella only ate a piece of bread and a glass of orange juice for breakfast. The kitchen was full of dishes and the stench of spoiled food on dishes from 2 days ago was starting to waft up from the sink. She placed her orange juice glass on the counter instead and headed out the front door. Instead of picking up her schoolbag, she retrieved her truck keys and locked the front door.
On the way to school, she played her music loudly. Trying to be annoying as possible in the quiet streets of Forks. Stopping at a traffic light, Bella noticed Jessica Stanley and her mother in the van in front of her. A mischievous smiled crossed Bella's lips as she sat in thought. The engine of her red truck revved to a loud roar and she inched her front bumper closer to the Stanley van. Bella could see Jessica's head turn to look at her as her mother looked through the rearview mirror. Mrs. Stanley's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Bella's face was blank as she was being watched. She revved again, inching another inch closer. Break lights from the Stanley van flashed a warning of "back-off" at Bella. Bella laughed at the gesture and pressed the brake and gas at the same time, spinning the tires of her truck. The ground was slightly wet from the morning rain, Bella smiled at her ironic good luck. Just seconds passed and Bella could tell the Stanleys were getting anxious at her actions. Finally, the traffic light turned green and the Stanley van jerked forward as Mrs. Stanly accelerated.
Bella made sure to follow closely to the van, assuring she was harassing the Stanleys. As both the vehicles pulled into Forks High School parking lot, Bella parked her car. Mrs. Stanley drove Jessica to the closest entrance into the school from the parking lot. As she exited the car, Jessica looked at Bella from across the lot with disgust in her face. Bella got out of her car and scoffed a small laugh. The flow of fulfillment made Bella almost giddy. Her plan worked and it worked well.
What was next? Bella ran thoughts of what to do as she walked the halls of Forks High. Surprised faces and widened eyes pulled her out of her distraction of thoughts. Bella wondered why she was being stared at, then remembered her new haircut. After the realization, she displayed a look of disgust to return for the their stares.
"What are you looking at?!" she spat at a freshman. The freshman girl looked away with hurt in her eyes. Pulling her books in her arms closer to her chest.
As the stares continued, Bella kept her rude behavior up. As she turned the corner to arrive to her first class, a crowd formed around Jessica. Jessica's love of being the center of attention made Bella scoff as she moved closer to see what Jessica was up to.
"...spun the tires and my mom got mad! I don't know what was wrong with her." Bella could hear Jessica gossip to the crowd, her hands flailing about while she spoke.
Bella arrived at the edge of the crowd and stood to listen to the story that Jessica was producing. She crossed her arms and waited for Jessica to continue.
"My mom always thought Bella was odd for some reason. I did too, but anyway, I should have just listened to my mom to stay away from her."
As Jessica finished her sentence, she eyed me from behind one of the kids in the crowd. A look of embarrassment flushed her cheeks. The crowd turned their heads to see Bella standing there with a venomous look in her eyes. Some gasped and some eyes widened at Bella's new look.
Bella managed to "hmph" loudly and walk away. Jessica eyebrows raised as she eye some of the kids in the crowd.
"See what I mean?"
* * *
Bella's first class was English class, an easy class to distract herself in. The schoolwork was always so simple enough to pass without really paying attention. Bella would use this opportunity to cause trouble for the class and the teacher. As Mr. Proxy walked into the class, he started to speak of the day's agenda.
"Today we are starting on Romeo and Juliet and..." the classed moaned in disappointment.
Bella sighed in frustration. She already knew this material almost by heart from her high school in Phoenix. As Mr. Proxy passed small booklets of Romeo & Juliet out to the class, Bella received it with no appreciation. She picked it up, scanned the first few pages, then slammed back against the table. Mr. Proxy turned around at the sound of book hitting desk. He looked at her a little longer than necessary, noticing her total change in looks.
"Miss Bella, I don't appreciate your attempt to destroy school property."
Bella rolled her eyes at him.
"I already read this material." Bella jutted her jaw out in defiance. "I don't feel like reading it again..and again."
"If you don't wish to join the class in this assignment, feel free to accept a zero for your score." Mr. Proxy told her.
"You know, Mr. Proxy. I know this material so well, I could probably teach it to the class better than you."
Mr. Proxy fumed with anger. He grabbed the book from Bella's desktop and placed it on a desk with a student occupying it.
"You may leave, Miss Bella." Mr. Proxy spoke to her with his back turned towards her.
"Where am I suppose to go?!" Bella threw her hands up.
"It doesn't matter but you can't stay here where you're disrupting my class. Goodbye."
"Ugh." she got up for her desk and stormed out of the class. "Have fun with Romeo and Juliet." she rolled her eyes and slammed the door. Some of the kids jumped at the bang of metal hitting the frame furiously.
Bella headed out to her truck, quickly deciding to sit in her vehicle till next class. She turned on the ignition, then the radio, changing stations till she found music that would occupy her mind for now. Finding a country station, she turned it up a little as drops of rain started to pitter-patter her windshield. The radio was the old radio that was in the truck before Emmett, Rosalie, & Jasper had given her the newer version for her birthday. The classy, expensive one was still in a bag in her closet. Bella's To Do List in her head gave her an idea to burn the new radio when she would remember to do it. Maybe a sledgehammer would work too.
The song on the country station started to play a song about a man moving on after his mistakes in life. Leaving his hometown to start anew. Leaving all the old things behind, to only begin with his car's tank full of fresh gas as he left. Bella turned to look at the radio and the hurt that she's been trying to escape came flooding back as the singer broke into chorus.
I was a mistake. That's why he left. Leaving behind his mistakes. He didn't love me. He left me. Alone.
The fresh thoughts of abandonment went well with the rain falling. Bella squeezed her eyes shut to push out the harsh feelings building inside. She tried to think of something else. Bella realized then that when she wasn't tormenting someone, she didn't hurt inside. She didn't cry. Instead, she smiled, but not with happiness. Just with contentment of everyone's misery. Exhaling a breath roughly, she turned off the radio, killing the depressing song. As she revved the engine, Bella turned on the windshield wipers, also, to wipe away the rain. To wipe away her hurt. She needed to do something drastic to keep the horrific thoughts from entering her mind again. That mischievous grin crossed her lips again, getting wider to show her teeth as the idea of causing trouble almost made her laugh. And she did, just for the heck of it.
"Damn you, Edward." she said before she put the truck into gear.
She sped through the lot and headed to a big empty part of the parking lot where no cars occupied it. Bella continued to turn the wheel of her truck sharply and started spinning. She achieved what she wanted when she spun in a donut as the tires squealed against the pavement. Bella wooted in excitedness and in satisfaction. The squealing of the tires caused such a raucous. Students and teachers were starting to look out of the classroom windows out of curiosity. Bella continued to donut her truck. The principle made his way out of his office, trying to block the rain from his eyes. He waves his arms expressively in the air, trying to catch Bella's attention. Bella did see him but ignored his actions. She kept on with her display. After a moment of standing under the rain, the frustration was apparent. Suddenly, the principle grabbed a cell phone from the inside pocket of his jacket and dialed a number that was unknownst to Bella. He spoke with intensity with the person on the other line then hung up. He stormed back into the school, ignoring her intentions for trouble. Who did he call? Bella was now curious. She slowed down the speed of her truck and parked it to the farthest corner of the parking lot. Waiting for almost 20 minutes for something to happen, she saw Charlie's cruiser enter Forks High property.
* * *
"Bella! You could have hurt yourself or damaged property! For pete's sake it was raining! Weren't you thinking of the consequences before doing something stupid like that?" Charlie's voice was loud.
"Do you think I care? I just don't care anymore." Bella's voice also raised.
"Mrs. Stanley called me too. She told me what you did this morning before school. What is wrong with you?!"
Bella giggled at that like it was a funny joke.
"Oh. So it's funny? You're being reckless, Bella." he huffed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration as he paced the kitchen.
"You should have seen their faces, Charlie. It was priceless!" a smile was on her face as she spoke.
"And what is with the 'Charlie'? What happened to Dad?" Charlie emphasized on the word 'Dad'. He stood in the middle of the kitchen to think for a moment before speaking again. "Isabella Swan. I am at a loss. First you are like a zombie, you weren't alive. Now...you've turned into something completely different. I don't even know what to call it. Mrs. Stanley actually called you a 'monster'." he jut his head out at the thought of Mrs. Stanley's accusation of Bella.
Bella winced at the word monster. She was in love with a monster. A monster who didn't love her anymore. The monster didn't want her anymore. Her face went blank as the thought sunk in. Charlie looked at her and tried to observe her reaction to his lecture. He bent down to be eye level with Bella as she sat on the kitchen chair again. Looking at her sternly, placing both his hands on her shoulders, he spoke with concern.
"Maybe you should go home to your mom in Jacksonville."
"NO!"
"I can't handle the phone calls and outbreaks of your anger, Bella. I don't know what to do anymore, honey."
"I am NOT going to Jacksonville. You can't make me." Bella was being childish.
"Things have to change, Bella. You've only been like this for almost a week, but it can't go on any further. No more." Charlie was stern now with his ultimatums.
The tables have turned. Bella used to be the "responsible" person in the household. Making sure everything was comfortable for Charlie, cooking dinner (who knows how Charlie ever made it this far from his terrible cullinary skills), a warm cozy home to come home to, the household chores. Not anymore, no more responsibilities for Bella. Charlie noticed too. Not that he minded, but Bella could do whatever she wanted, as long as she was "Bella", the daughter he knew.
Still looking at Bella, desperation was apparent in Charlie's voice as he spoke.
"Tell me what to do. Talk to me." Charlie was breathing raggedly as emotion took over. The frown on his lips & the pucker of his chin made it known that Charlie was in the verge of breaking down.
Bella couldn't help but feel the overwhelming emotion of guilt for making Charlie feel this way. Her goal to make everyone miserable had worked 100%. But Charlie seemed to be getting the bad end of the stick throughout her mission. He would be the one to see her wallow in misery everyday as he arrived home from work. To hear the phone calls from every person Bella would encounter with her lashing out. Witness the disasters left behind by Bella and her sudden outburst to damage things. Lecture her, or try to get through to Bella, convincing her to calm down and realize the outcome of her viciousness.
As these thoughts dawned on her, her face crumpled in pain and in heavy guilt. The tears flowed from her eyes and was fully flowing heavily. Loud sobs filled the room as Bella sat and shook with every sob that came from her body. Charlie, not abling to hold it anymore, embraced her with fatherly arms and held her tight as she cried. Tears began to fall from his also, but not as heavily as Bella's. Relief washed over Charlie, knowing that Bella understood at some point, the point of his talk with her. Bella's arms embraced her father also, weakly holding onto something she knew that was real, to someone she knew that loved her unconditionally.
"It's alright, honey. You'll get through this. We'll get through it."
They held each other for awhile, Charlie letting Bella pour her emotion out all over his shoulder.
"Thank you, Dad. I love you." Bella murmured against his shoulder.
A small, loving smile broke against his lips. Bella called him 'Dad'. His hold on her tightened.
"You're welcome. I love you too, Bells."