She fought hard to keep the tears from running down her cheeks as she stared into the fireplace. It was painful and humiliating all the same to lose control when you've had it for so long; keeping the pieces of a broken puzzle held barely together by empty promises and dead ends. There was no reason for her to go back to her hero lifestyle anymore, there was nothing left. She knew who she was and that was who she'd always be; a villain. Her search for Robin hit rock bottom and she started to wonder if he was really what she wanted. Their meetings were filled with sexual tension and lust, but the feelings that were supposed to be behind the passionate kisses faded quickly. Her son who once looked at her like a hero was now more attached to his real mother than he was ever attached to her. He sees Emma as a knight in shining armor and her as second best. Though she will always love Henry with the deepest part of her heart, she knew that he would be okay without her. Everyone would. She's killed, lied, cheated and did everything she could to get the power and control she still has today. She's losing that battle.

She knew her dark side was coming back to her just days ago when she felt the power of fire start to spark through her fingers as soon as her emotional stability dissipated. No one seemed to question why a piece of paper she was holding in Snow and David's apartment suddenly turned into ash. Maybe they assumed that the stress was getting to her and bringing back the negative side of her magic, or maybe they secretly hoped that she could reverse whatever was causing her outbursts.

Something the matter darling?" Cruella chimed in and tried to break her out of her emotional spell. Regina still didn't know if the woman liked her or just liked to make a joke out of her. Her verbal expressions towards her lacked sympathy but also provided her with a sense of protection and friendship. "You do realize you're throwing sparks into the fireplace over and over again and you lit it half an hour ago?"

"No. I'm fine, just need to let off some steam.", Regina replied with a shaky voice. If she came undone at this moment and let herself cry everyone would think she really had lost her touch. They would think she was missing her family, wanting to go back into town and regretted teaming up with them in the first place. This all started with her going undercover, but the cover seemed to not feel so falsified anymore. It would be easy to team up with the Queens of Darkness yet again and have everything she's had before. When you have nothing, resorting to your old ways where you at least had a shred of happiness to your name didn't seem so bad. Emma, David and Snow weren't really her family or her friends and she knew she needed to let them go.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep then? We have a lot of work ahead of us if you want your happy ending." To be fair, her happy ending was no longer important. She could stop helping them and blow her cover if she wanted but something held her back. The people she thought she cared for could at one time get hurt no matter how much she tried to deny her sympathy. The queens could hurt Henry and if that was the case she would never forgive herself. Still, the flashbacks of her mother killing her first love due to Snow and her big mouth wracked through her brain. The thoughts of being imprisoned by her and David as they sat high on their thrones and looked down upon her. The look in her mother's eyes as she tortured her and laughed the whole way through her adolescence, Henry's smile as he runs up to Emma and hugs her; when he tells her that he loves her. The clear pictures from the past sent a feeling of boiling blood inside of her, filling her up with both anger and despair. She threw a larger ball of fire into the fireplace, causing the flames to rise and turn brighter in color. If there was a happy ending for her out there and it wasn't Robin, she now wanted to know what it was at all costs. Maybe it was curiosity or a longing for some sort of affection but there was nothing to lose. She could find a way to spare Henry but for the others, fuck it.

"Yes I'll try."

Maleficent raised her hand towards Regina from across the room and held out something she hasn't seen for years.

"Need something besides fire to help you take the edge off?"

"No." As tempted as she was to take her up on her offer, she couldn't stand the fact that her anxiety would only be gone temporarily and it would be twice as bad when she crashed.

Without saying another word she lied down on her side away from the other woman and closed her eyes, knowing that sleep would not come to her so easily. Her hands shook and she was on the verge of both crying and setting someone on fire all while trying to keep a perfectly straight face. How could all of these people from Storybrooke do this to her and yet she still dedicates all of her time to them? She tried to mentally erase the feelings of vengeance and rage but there was no stopping it anymore. After all, they were the ones who hurt her first.

Just minutes after starting to finally doze off a loud vibration coming from her pocket startled her.

'Are you sure you're okay?' a text message showed up in her inbox. She didn't recognize the number but still felt compelled to respond. She wanted to speak out loud but contained her resentment towards the unknown sender but stayed silent in case it was someone merely trying to set her off. She was almost afraid to touch her phone in fear that it would burst into flames. To no surprise she felt a spark move quickly through her fingers and her breathing shallowed. 'Control.' She kept thinking to herself. 'Don't feel. You're better than this.'

'I don't know who you are and I don't know why you care.'

'Look up dear.' As she turned around and glanced over at the other women, noticing that Ursula was passed out on the couch beside her, Cruella was sleeping while slumped in her chair and Mal was the one with the phone in her hands. She didn't look back at Regina but instead smirked to herself as if she had something to be happy about.

'Regina I know there's something wrong that goes deeper than what we're doing right now.'

'It's none of your business and I'm fine. I don't feel well and I'm trying to sleep so leave me alone.'

'Did you forget how close we used to be before you disappeared.' As Regina put down her phone and tried to ignore the texts, they kept coming in over and over. As much as her and Mal had a past that once filled her up with hope and self-assurance, the woman couldn't possibly be the same. How could someone still care about her after everything she's done and her constant change between good and bad. This had to be a game she was trying to play to make her crack and she wasn't planning on giving up anytime soon. One message after another were making her crazy but she just couldn't look away. She turned away from her once again as her eyes were still stuck to the screen. Her mind went backwards to time when Mal held her in her arms late at night to stop her crying. She made her feel protected from her mother and that was all someone had to do to earn her trust. When she was with Mal, she felt invincible. If she let her in, all she would do was hurt her. Her fear of running back to Emma and the consequences of those actions made her keep her distance.

'Please talk to me. I can't do this with you anymore Regina.'

'Enough.', Regina gave in and responded. That was the last message she was planning on sending as she was determined to hold her ground.

'What did I ever do to you? You know I care about you.'

'Why do you keep shutting me out?'

'Why do you shut the world out Regina?'

"I said enough!", she found herself yelling at the other woman out loud. Ursula and Cruella were quickly awoken from their sleep and looked over at Regina as if she were crazy. For once in their lives they said nothing but looked back and forth between her and Mal. It was a shock that they didn't want to open their mouths and start more trouble. A fierce spark shot through Regina's towards Maleficent as she stopped it with a spell much stronger than her own. She felt tears stinging at her eyes again and stood up, ready to run away before she started sobbing uncontrollably.

"I need to leave."

"Why dear? You just got here.", Ursula finally interrupted with a sarcastic tone.

"No, I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. I need to be alone right now." Regina started for the door as Mal grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving. Her facial expression towards her old friend changed from a smirk to a look of concern. "Can you two please give us a minute? Seriously, please." Showing a lot of reluctance, Cruella and Ursula actually stood up and nodded at each other.

"Fine, whatever. Ursula, let's go for a walk. I'm tired of being cooped up in this cabin with this hot mess anyways." The two gave Regina a daring look and walked out, slamming the door behind them.

"Please don't go Regina. Sit down, I know you need this. You can't deny how close we were. Why can't you let me help you again, the way I always have? I'm not like the other two, you know that. You know me." As she sat down next to Maleficent and put her head in her hands, her control finally crashed, her body trembling along with the sobs that were escaping her.

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone.", Regina said in short breaths in an attempt to talk while crying. "If I can't decide who I am all I'll do is turn on everyone I still have left. You don't understand, I want to die. I want to end this pain." She felt Mal's hand on her back, rubbing it in small circles while trying to soothe her.

"Shhh. Stop crying dear. Please, it still pains me to see you this way." Regina couldn't stop crying and she couldn't bring herself to look at Mal. Her head was spinning, causing her dizziness from the panic that was causing her heart to jump up and down. "Please don't leave. You don't need to do this. Reach down into your soul and think about everything we've been through. I'll never forget the first time I laid my eyes on you. You captivated me Regina." She looked down at the embers in her palms and hoped that she was on her way to calming the younger woman. "You gave me my fire back, but please don't lose control of yours."

'