Title: You Picked…Me
Author's Note: Yes, in this Xigbar and Xaldin are a couple. No, I do NOT CARE if you don't like homosexuality or slash. You have been warned, do not read if you don't like it. Don't flame me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Xigbar or Xaldin. I wish I did, but wishes are for fishes and I am no fish. Squeenix and Disney own them.
Song: "Calling You" by Blue October
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There's something that I can't quite explain
I'm so in love with you
You'll never take that away.
I watch you, laying so peaceful in my arms. Your eyes are closed against the world, only a faint smile betraying your mood. I don't speak, lest I jar you from that peaceful place. I try to remember when I first knew I loved you. Was it during the missions we were thrown together in? The many nights of falling asleep in your arms? Or earlier, when we still had hearts, watching you in secret as you worked on some new theory? Sometimes I am certain. Others, like tonight, I feel I've loved you forever.
And if I said a hundred times before
Expect a thousand more
You never take that away.
Watching you, I realize it doesn't matter. Whether I fell first in love with Dilan, or Xaldin, it doesn't matter. Seeing you at peace, and knowing that peace is found in my arms: these are the things that matter to me. If I knew a thousand ways to tell you how much you mean to me, it would never be enough.
Well, expect me to be
Calling you to see
If you're okay when I'm not around.
I look at your perfect skin and frown, seeing in my mind's eye slashes and bruises from missions we've been on. How many of those haven't truly left you? Do your scars hide beneath your skin, mirroring my own? I hate to see you hurt, and I can imagine it even here in this safe place.
Asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound.
Your eyes open and you smile up at me. Your hand finds mine and I think you can hear my thoughts. I'm silent as you talk to me, telling me about this and that, nothing important, only to talk to me. I know you love me in this moment, from the simple way you talk to me, like I'm the most important thing and nothing else truly matters.
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile
To make a smile?
My frown pulls one from you and I regret ever thinking these things, causing those lips to pull down in your concern. I rattle off some lame wit, and you laugh at me, the smile coming back as your eyes twinkle in merriment. I would give anything to see you smile always. Everything I do, I do to simply see that smile. When I make a fool of myself in silly, obnoxious ways, every jab, every tease, every hurt is erased when I glance over and see that small smile pulling at your lips, and it is all worth it again.
Well, I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming and
If you're dreaming are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe
You actually picked me.
I think back to the party, and the things we said. Does it still amuse you when I ask why? Why me? Why did you place your love in someone so clearly not worthy of you? You tell me I'm worth so much more than I believe, but these things just fade around me, paling to the worth I see in you. I know I put you on a pedestal, but I don't care. You close your eyes again, letting out a sigh as you turn your head toward my stomach, trying to be closer to me without moving from your place.
I thought the world had lost its sway, (it's so hard sometimes) Then I fell in love with you (then came you)
And you took that away (it's not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)
You took away the old
Show me the new
And I feel I can fly
When I stand next to you.
So what if I'm on this phone
A hundred miles from home?
I take the words you gave me
And send them back to you.
I reach over to the table beside me and take a chocolate, chewing thoughtfully as I gaze down at you. The smell, or maybe the sound of me eating wakes you and you smirk, reaching for your own chocolate to eat. You pull me down for a brief kiss, and I love your taste. Something wild and free, like chocolate and summer wind. You mention another mission coming up, after the Halloween festivities are over and I nod, dreading the moment we part, you to one world, me to another. I wonder what injuries you will sustain when I'm not there. I wish I could go with you, protect you from anything that wants to harm you, even as I tell myself you can handle much more than I think. But I can't help my worry. I only want to know you're okay.
I only want to see
If you're okay when I'm not around.
Asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound.
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile
To make a smile?
The embers in the fireplace are slowly going out, and your hand curls around mine, kissing it gently to ease the fears in my mind, what you cannot possibly hear. And I love you again for that simple gesture, for wanting to ease me, to make me feel safe. I wrap my arms around you and we fall asleep on the couch, the embers' glow fading to darkness around us.
I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming and
If you're dreaming are you dreaming of me?
"I love you, Xigbar."
I can't believe
You actually picked…me…