Sabo looked back at his sleeping brother and sighed loudly. "Sorry, do you mind if I..?"
"Of course Sabo-san, I believe you two have some catching up to do." Robin said politely.
Sabo smiled at the crew and, like old times, crawled into his brothers bed, kicking his shoes off and tossing his top hat and coat off onto the ground beside him.
The swordsman began to sleep effortlessly but Sabo got the feeling that he was still on watch, especially seeing as the rest of the crew (+ the Surgeon of Death and the samurai, Kin'emon and Kanjuro right?) were curling up in their own spots for a well deserved sleep.
And in that moment, instead of leaving as planned, Sabo, second in command of the revolutionary army, stayed by his brothers' side.
Luffy snuggled into the warmth that seemed to have made its' way into his dreams, it was a nice warmth, not too hot, it was almost like...
Ace...
Magma, magma everywhere, drowning out the flames he knew to be his brother.
And then Ace was flying backwards, the magma had tasted his brothers flesh and was hungry for more...
but then...
it was coming for him instead and then...
ACE NO. /STOPPLEASEYOUSWOREYOUPROMISED/
ACE PLEASE STOP!
A HOLE. THROUGH. HIS SPINAL CHORD. PULVERISING HIS LUNGS, HIS RIBS. INCINERATING HIS STOMACH, PANCREAS, LIVER, INTESTINES, APPENDIX. . BLOOD VESSELS CAUTERISED BUT STILL BLOODY.
OH SO BLOODY.
LOOK AT THE BLOOD.
WATCH HOW IT DRIPS FROM YOUR HANDS TO THE GROUND.
WATCH AS IT DRIPS OUT OF HIS GAPING CHEST.
LOOK AT THE WAY HIS PRIDE AND JOY HAS BEEN DESTROYED
ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.
"Luffy! Please, tell everyone what I'm about to say...
"Thank you for loving me!"
And the anguish, it consumes him whole, swallowed in the depths of his own despair, a gaping maw of regrets and broken promises.
does he care whether he lives or dies?
NO. DIE STUPID BOY.
ONE BROTHER LEFT OF THREE.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
ALL YOUR FAULT
SHOULD HAVE BEEN STRONGER
NO MORE BROTHERS
OH THE POOR LITTLE BOY.
ALL.
ALONE.
NOWHERE TO CALL HOME EXCEPT A SHIP OF A MISSING CREW.
no-one, crew gone in the movement of a hand, brother gone in a flash of magma (SHOULD HAVE MOVED|SHOULD HAVE DIED).
"LUFFY!" Huh, that sounded like Zoro.
And suddenly he was blessed with the real world.
A familiar(ish) weight on his shoulders, shaking him into reality.
"Luffy! I need you to calm down." That was Robin right?
"Luffy please." Oh god he made Usopp cry.
And then he heard him again, his brother.
He clawed his way to the surface bolting upright, slamming into something, someone who automatically reeled back, cursing. Huh that nose was probably broken.
"That's very good senchou-san."
No, that was wrong, Robin doesn't use 'proper' titles like that unless she's feeling uncomfortable with us.
"Lu, it's okay. Just listen to my breathing and try and do the same thing." Sabo said, acting a whole lot calmer than he actually was, who could blame him?
His little brother had been fine through the entire night, sleeping soundlessly, but then, come morning he began to writhe in distress against his chest and Sabo couldn't help but think that it was his fault. All he could do was sit and watch as the swordsman got nice and personal with Luffy - trying to wake him and Robin, she tried to make him focus on her voice as an anchor - it didn't work.
Zoro shook his brother a little and Sabo decided enough was enough, he leapt to where his brothers' head was placed and slid his hands underneath Luffy's unruly hair, wiping away the tears that gathered and fell onto his rubber skin.
"It's okay Lu."
And then Luffy had set upright as if struck by lightning and hit Zoro in the face.
Sabo had to give the swordsman credit, he obviously saw that coming and he hadn't used haki in the case that he accidentally harmed his captain.
Finally Luffy's breathing evened out and he flopped back onto his brother's lap. Everyone was silent for a few minutes. "Sorry..."
"There's nothing to be sorry about." Zoro said gruffly, hiding the remains of his broken nose.
Luffy swallowed. "It's okay Lu, you're okay." Sabo said soothingly, stroking his raven hair gently.
"I'm o-" Luffy's voice cracked and he swallowed again.
"Here senchou-san, I have some water for you, however, I need you to sit up for it." Robin said, procuring a glass of clear liquid from who knows where.
Luffy flinched at the title and Sabo frowned a little but pulled his brother up until Luffy was leaning up against his own chest.
Luffy gulped down the water as if he had been dehydrated for days, Luffy didn't want the sadness in Robin's eyes, he didn't want Sabo to lightly shake even as he holds him. He doesn't want Usopp to look like it's the end of the world. He wishes he hadn't broken Zoro's nose. And he wished that Kin'emon and Kanjuro hadn't seen his momentary slip in strength-
Actually, he would have preferred if no-one had seen his slip.
"Do you want to-?" Sabo broke off.
Slowly he shook his head, this was his to deal with. But nonetheless he twisted in Sabo's lap and wrapped himself around the blonde - like a cobra, Luffy's breaths were short and Sabo could feel the wetness on his own shirt. Sabo took it, even when he struggled to take a breath he accepted his brothers anguish and tried to take as much pain as he could.
Eventually Luffy stopped sniveling and without a word Usopp offered him a handkerchief.
There was an internal collective sigh of relief when he accepted another glass of water.
"We'll leave you two alone for a bit." Zoro murmurs, low, like he's trying to not scare a jittery animal, either way, Luffy nods slowly.
He's half dreading the conversation coming and he wishes to avoid it but he can't.
He still has to tell Sabo what Ace said...
And besides, it's like some kind of weight on his chest. pushing/pressing/consuming
A rubberman can be compressed, but what of breathing? Is that not to come?
He notices mutely that they're alone.
"Do you want to tell me now?" Sabo asks gently, he remembers days when his little brother would crawl up beside him because he didn't like being alone. And Sabo's heart had always ached for his brother that had learned what it was like to be all alone so early in life.
Luffy shakes his head slowly because no he doesn't want to thank you very much, but he opens his mouth to speak anyway.
He tells Sabo of Sabaody of punching the Tenryuubito - not just for the quashing of a dream so young - but for the pain caused by the bastard and unleashed on his friend.
Of losing to Bartholomew Kuma - but he's knows now that he was saved - and the Amazon Lily.
Of Impel Down and finding another friend who never gave up on him, of the poison man (10 YEARS!? TEN YEARS?!) and of the alliance between himself, Jinbe, Crocodile and Ivankov.
And then...
Marineford...
Of being so goddamn close to have it allrippedaway.
Of Ace's final words. "Thank you for loving me!"
And that's as far as he goes, Luffy begins to cry earnestly, big fat droplets rolling down his bandaged face and Sabo would tease him for being a crybaby if his view wasn't impaired by his own tears.
"I- I- I'm sorry Luffy!" Sabo manages to cry out. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, if I had been maybe..."
Luffy just sobs harder shaking his head against his brother's shirt. "If you were there- hic I might have lost two brothers again."
Eventually their tear ducts dry out and all they're left with is the wetness from their sobs and a feeling of hollowness. "I'm sorry Sabo, I'm sorry that you had to find out with a newspaper..."
He almost starts to cry again but instead Sabo gently unwinds himself from the tangle Luffy and he had managed to create and instead hunts around the small shack for what he desires. "Ah.. here they are."
What he withdraws makes Luffy smile widely. In his grasp are three sakazuki cups- not red but black and chipped in a few spots but that's okay - and in his other hand a bottle of sake that Zoro had missed in his search of the small abode.
"Luffy, we have to live our lives without any regrets!" Sabo lifts his own sake cup and clinks it with his brothers'.
They both tip their heads back, letting the sake run down their throats, their bond had never faded but it was time to renew it - they were both so different but at the same time, all the same.
"Did you steal that off Dadan?"
"Hey, did you know, all it takes to become brothers is to share some sake?"
"Brothers!"
"Godammit Lu, Sabo, I always knew you were both crybabies... But this is taking it to the next level." Despite his words, the man is crying as well, twin streams twisting down his face. "Cheers."
He picks up his own sake cup - it is an offering for him - and drinks from it.
He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. "Damn that was some good sake."
"Sabo, Luffy, I believe you can both achieve your dreams! I'll always be there! Even if you can't see me!"
I just wanted some angsty fluff mkay? Sorry...
I'm not sure if that was PTSD or not... because honestly we see nothing after the 2YSKIP in terms of nightmares. But yeah, I'm not well versed on how PTSD works - I've only covered it in class whilst discussing the World Wars and the Vietnam war.
What did you think of it? If you have suggestions on grammar and such or just wanted to review feel free to do so.