A Roll of Black and White Film
By Lorianna Kim
Summary
After the battle, Harry goes to Tonk's house to meet his godson. During his visit, encountered a likely present from his long lost parents and their two best friends; a Muggle invention called a Video Tape.
Author's Note
I was reading a fanfic entitled 'Hogmeade's Kiss' by LJSforeverAlways2 (a wonderful story by the way) and came across a chapter when James and Lily made Sirius take a video of them and one year old Harry. I begin to think what will happen if James and Lily actually film a video for Harry in case they never made it. And I came up with this!! Please read and tell me what you think!! xx… Always and Forever, L.Kim.
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Chapter One : When all is unfocused.
Perhaps the long journey had tired him out, or perhaps it was his lack of sleep, or the excitement that came nonstop, or perhaps the losses that kept cutting into his heart.
After a little consideration, Harry Potter settled with the last one. The aching in his bones and the heaviness in his heart was more than normal physical tiredness. He shifted and his shoulders ached. His head was throbbing. It was hard to concentrate on the house in front of him. It looked all hazy and blur. The first and last time he had seen this house, he had just escaped death by an inch and his heart was filled with desperation. Last time he was here it was dark but today in the light of the afternoon sun, he could see the black carving gate and the red brick house beyond it.
He walked forwards and pushed open the gate. Miraculously, or by an act of accident, the gate swung open. Harry walked in and it swung shut behind him. He made his way through the vast empty yard which a decade ago, it seemed, he had fallen and Hagrid had crumbled into the muddy pond up ahead.
He could hear Hermione's snapping voice in his head 'Harry, this is such a wonderful idea!! Little Teddy will get to meet you at last! Oh, and please do be nice to Mrs. Tonks, the poor woman. I couldn't imagine what it will be like to…'
Harry smirked slightly. Hermione had absolutely no idea what it was like to lose a daughter, a husband and a son in law. Thinking this, a lump formed in Harry's throat. For a minute he didn't know what he was going to say to Andromeda Tonks. Would she blame him, Harry, for Tonk's death?!? Her Husband's? Or even Remus'? With a jolt, he realized that this was the house Tonks and Remus had lived in together and this was where they had shared their last precious moments with their little son.
Without knowing how he quite managed it, Harry reached out and knocked on the big oak door. The loud knocks echoed hollowly in the stillness of the afternoon. He waited for a few seconds before the door was finally opened. He faced a woman with long dark hair. Andromeda Tonks' likeness to her sister Bellatrix was even more visible somehow but her eyes were tired. The light that had made them different from its sisters were now extinguished. There were dark circles under it. Her hair was pulled back into a long pony tail and the lines across her forehead were more pronounced than ever. When she saw Harry, a spark seemed to ignite in those pair of dark eyes but it was gone as quickly as it came.
'Harry Potter' she said. Unlike her deceased sister, her voice was gentle and eerie. Hearing it, Harry felt even more heartbroken, if that's even possible.
'Mrs. Tonks, I'm really sorry to be visiting you in a time like this, but…' Harry stumbled but she nodded for him to keep going. 'Well, Remus made me Teddy's godfather and I think it's only right I come to see him.'
A shadow of a smile grazed Andromeda's lips and she beckoned him in. 'I was wondering when you would come.' She said, and Harry followed her inside. In the daylight, he decided her home was very well furnished and comfortable. She led her through a big living room with wizard pictures hanging on the wall. His heart dropped when he saw them. A baby girl with pink bubble gum hair was waving up at him, Remus and Tonks radiant on their wedding day, and the whole Tonks family beaming together with happiness.
'Make yourself at home' Andromeda told him. She had led him inside her kitchen, a large clean room overlooking a small garden. 'I'll fix you up some tea. Would you like that?'
Feeling very useless, Harry nodded. 'Thank you very much, Mrs. Tonks'
'Not to mention it, dear' and she whipped out her wand. She turned to Harry and indicated towards a door to his left. 'He's in there. You can hold him, but don't wake him'
She turned away and busied herself with the kettle. Harry, feeling very awkward, opened the door to Teddy's room. He closed it behind him. The room was fairly big but the curtains were drawn close. Harry's heart did a somersault when he realized where he was. A large bed sat in the middle of the room. Books , quills and parchments were scattered on it. The desk in the corner was laden with books. The wardrobe was still filled with clothes, and smiling up at him from a picture on the wall were Remus Lupin and Tonks, holding Teddy in their arms. This was their room.
Harry stopped in his tracks. At that moment, he wished with all his heart he was anywhere else but here. To think that just a few days ago, Remus had sat at that desk, Tonks was fuddling over Teddy in the cot… Harry felt the lump in his throat rising and he bit his lips to swallow down the growing emotions.
He was here for Teddy. Lupin and Tonks would have wanted this. So he made his way to the cot at the foot of the bed. It was a large one filled with fluffy blankets and pillows. A small turquoise hair baby boy was sleeping inside. His eyes were shut tight and he was breathing peacefully. His little hands were clenched loosely in a fist and his lips quivered slightly every now and then. Harry felt tears forming in his eyes. He didn't know what to do. He had never seen anything so beautiful, so protected and so pure before.
He reached out and touched the soft skin. He could not believe that once he had been just like that, a baby safe and sound in his cot, his world so perfect and unharmed. He swore to Teddy Lupin, right then and there, that he would grow up and have a childhood Harry never had. Teddy would never have to run from his cousin and hide up in a tree. He would never be shouted at by his aunt and uncle, and he wouldn't have to wake up in the middle of the night of his birthday to blow an imaginary birthday cake.
Harry picked him up and held him close. It was a baby. A real baby! He had never been so close to a baby before, let alone hold one! Harry held him for a long time. And he caught himself talking to him.
'Hey… You know your parents made me your godfather?' as he said that, an image of a man with black hair and a barking laugh came to his mind. At that moment he felt so close to Sirius, like his godfather was there with him in the room. Harry knew for the first time what Sirius must have felt. This baby he was holding belong to a great man, a man that Harry loved and respected, His parents' best friend. He's not here anymore and Harry had to continue this for him, to keep him alive, to make his son know him.
'Your father loved you, Teddy. Your mother loved you too.' Harry whispered, feeling completely lost for words 'they would want to be here themselves, but I'm so sorry they're not… I'm sorry, Teddy'
He didn't know what else to say, how to make this little bundle in his arms understand why the two people who loved him the most were not here. Harry reached inside the cot and moved the blankets around to make a space for Teddy to sleep. In doing so, his hand brushed against something hard. Harry pulled it out.
It was a package wrapped in red-brown paper, and to his amazement he saw a note attached to it. He quickly put Teddy back inside his cot and took a thorough look at the note. His heart leapt painfully when he saw Lupin's neat and squared hand writing. His knees buckled and he sank down on the floor. His hands shook and he felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Thinking how many sad news he could take before he completely cracks, he read.
Dear Harry,
I must apologize to you that I haven't given this to you sooner. Sirius had left this in my possession before he was taken to Azkabahn. I didn't want to give it to you when you were younger and when you had too many expectations thrown your way. Your parents insisted that you receive this only when you're ready. And I think you are now. When you yelled at me at Grimmauld Place, you were every inch your father's son. I thank you for helping me see the light. You were right. James would have wantme to be with my wife and child. I want to tell youthat I'm proud of you. So proud. James and Lily would have been proud of you too.
I understand if you wouldn't want to watch this, but it's alright if you do. All I want you to know is that we love you so much, Harry. Me, your friends, your parents and Sirius, are always with you.
Where ever you are now, our love goes with you. I hope when we see you again, I can show you my child.
With hope,
RemusLupin
Harry was left staring at the parchment with tears in his eyes. Remus had probably written this after their fight at Sirius' house. For a few glorious moments, it felt like Lupin was actually here with him. It felt like he was looking at Harry right now, his eyes brimming with pride.
Harry swallowed the sinking feeling growing inside him and ripped open the paper. Inside was a video tape, like the ones the Dursleys had stacked under their television set in Number Four Privet Drive. Confused, Harry flipped the tape back and forth in his hands. Feeling even more shocked, he discovered another note taped to the video. With shaking fingers, he touched it. The piece of parchment was yellow with age and he recognized the writing at once. He didn't know how he recognized it, but it seemed so familiar to him, like he somehow knew it all along. It was the same neat hand writing he found in a letter in Sirius' old bedroom. His mother.
Dear Padfoot
James and I would like to thank you so much for helping us make this video. I know you love every single minute of it!! Just don't forget us when you become a 'Movie Director', alright?!? James and I had talked it over and we decided we would like you to keep this. If something happens to us, we want you to pass this on to Harry. When he's ready, mind you! And please tell him for us that we love him so much. And James wants to ask him whether he has half his talent at Quidditch
We are doing fine. Last night James cooked us a special dinner. We had lots of fun! Wish you were with us!! I hope you are doing fine and please send our love to Remus. And do come to visit us soon! Harry seems like he can't wait for his second flying lesson with you and James! James tries to teach him the basics, mainly keeping him on his broom! It almost gave me a heart attack but James assured me that it's perfectly safe. They look so cute together!! I'm loving both of them more everyday, if that's possible!
I will now stop my blabbing and finally end this letter!
Lots of love,
Lily.
Harry wiped his eyes with his sleeve. So his father and Sirius had given him his first flying lesson. His father had taught him how to ride on a broom and zoom around the house, probably scaring his mother to death! Harry's heart beat faster. He tried extremely hard to remember what it was like. Had James got on the broom with him and taught him how to steer it left and right? When did Sirius come in? Did Lily scream at James in concern?
Harry tried to remember. In that dingy little bedroom, Harry tried with every fiber in his body to remember what it was like to have his parents so close to him, to only reach for them and they were there. What was it like to laugh with them and be held by them? He shut his eyes and strained his memory. He tried and tried, but all came to his mind were pearly white figures of his parents, Lily smiling broadly and her emerald eyes shining, and James with his hazel eyes sparkling behind his lopsided glasses.
He couldn't remember more than that. Harry drew his knees to his chest and buried his face in it. And he cried.
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Andromeda put a cup filled with warm, sweet smelling tea in front of him. Harry held the cup between his hands and let its warmth calm him down. He could feel the video tape inside his robes poking into his flesh.
'I'm sorry' he blurted out. Andromeda, who was fiddling with the kettle, whipped around to face him.
'Harry?' she questioned, her brows furrowed in confusion.
'I'm sorry' Harry repeated and wished she would stop staring at him in surprise. He had to say it. It somehow felt right that he should.
Andromeda sat down opposite of him. 'Sorry for what?'
'I'm sorry… that your husband died, and you have to lose Ton-.. Dora, and Remus… and I'm just… so sorry'
Andromeda gasped a little and a dawning look escaped into her dark features. She shook her head. 'Harry, it's not your fault. None of this is your fault. You saved us all. My husband and my daughter and her husband died fighting for what they believed in, fighting for a better world…'
'But they don't deserve to die.' said Harry bitterly.
'Yes, that's true' said the older woman gently. A tear rolled down her cheek. 'But… they're in a better place now. I'm going to be alright eventually.'
Harry thought of when he met Dumbledore at Kings Cross. He wondered where that train would lead to. Probably to somewhere happy; and he wondered whether Tonks and Lupin were laughing right now with Fred and his parents and Sirius. Would his father to be glad to have his two best friends together again at last? Harry didn't know.
'Harry?'
Harry looked at her. Andromeda had a worried look in her eyes and it softened her expression greatly.
'I… probably will be dropping by now and then if that's alright with you' he said awkwardly. 'I might come by and tell him stories… about his parents. I might bring some of my friends along. Well, if it's ok with you'
'Absolutely. You're his godfather, Harry' she smiled a little for the first time and with that small single act, she seemed to completely get rid of her sister's resemblance. For one awkward moment, she seemed wanting to reach out and take Harry's hand. But that moment passed and she looked down again, and Harry took a sip of his tea. He observed her and she stood up to brew another pot of tea.
'Mrs. Tonks?' called Harry.
Andromeda turned around to look at him again. 'Yes, Harry?'
'Are you sure you're going to be alright?'
She smiled. And this time, it was one hundred percent real. Though her eyes were still sad and tired, the smile brightened her face and she looked younger. Harry thought he was looking at the woman in the picture again, the woman who was laughing with her husband and daughter.
'Are you?' He asked again. He wanted to be sure.
She chuckled a little, like she found the question somewhat amusing and she answered him, with a small cheery tone in her voice;
'Of course I'm going to be just fine'
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AN Like it? Hate it? Let me know!!!! I'm trying here so please tell me what you think! I'm having a great time writing this!! The next chapter will be up soon!
UPNEXT : 'When the lens are covered in dust' - In which our hero will catch a glimpse into his past and in which I do credit to his raven hair father who some people considered an ass! James rules!! Got to say that!