Summary: After the Newborn war, Edward realises that no matter what he does, Bella is always going to be in danger if she stays with him. So he leaves her again and this time Bella lets Jacob take care of her broken heart. They move away from Washington to be closer to Renee and ultimately away from the Supernatural world.
It's only when they come back to Forks, four years later, does Jacob realise how things have changed. Taking on the challenge to heal the broken links between his pack mates and himself, he discovers that maybe he was wrong in leaving and that it had all been a mistake. Between all the chaos around him, he struggles with the task of keeping the two worlds apart and from falling in love with a woman who doesn't want his help.
Rated M
[ I ]
Jacob stands, his shoulders slumped and his back bent, feeling as if the only thing left inside him were sadness.
He watches as Bella holds her father's hand tightly, how she comforts him with the same hugs they share together in their home after he's had a bad day at the garage or she at the animal shelter.
The strong aching smell of tears stain the area for a ten-mile radius and he hates the fact that with his enhanced sense of smell that he probably could have smelt it all the way to the border and the next town over.
He can't remember how many hours it had been since they'd arrived earlier that morning but something in the air makes it feel like his never left. Maybe it's because deep down he knows this place is his home; the place where he grew up, where he made friends and where he first fell in love.
His attention is drawn back to the couple in front of him as Charlie stands, giving Bella a lasting hug before reaching inside to take out a crumpled white piece of note paper from the breast pocket of his pressed suit.
Jacob can't see any tears on the older man's face but maybe that's because Charlie's always been such a private man. Maybe unknown to all of them he'd already cried his heart out and had nothing left to give. After all; the loss of a wife must damage the soul to a point of disrepair. He himself couldn't imagine such a feeling; to lose the other half of one's heart, the other indescribable half of one's soul.
The aching intensifies as Jacob listens to the man's words - really listens. The heartfelt despair, the immense happiness, the longing and the love is all wrapped into one short speech. Charlie talks about the last years he's spent with the second love of his life; the woman who in every aspect had taken care of him, whom he had loved and whom he had shared a home with. He talks about moments in which they'd spent together, tending to the greenhouse on the back of the property, helping down at recreation centre on the reservation with the other families and the hours they'd spend talking about their children.
He explains that Sue had only truly been happy helping those in need, her profession as a nurse being one of the many highlights of this proof. There is tenderness in Charlie's words, tenderness that comes only from a lover, a husband and a best friend. Jacob feels like an intruder listening to the older man speak. As if the words that fall from his lips belong only to his wife and should be for her ears only.
Charlie takes a breath, gulps only for a moment and begins thanking his daughter who had travelled so far to be here. The instant Charlie's eyes linger toward the end of the row of chairs, Jacob knows they have arrived, yet not sure how long they have been listening. He'd known they'd eventually show up and had searched for them when he and Bella had first arrived without any success.
It had been just shy of four years since he'd last seen them, four years since he'd left with Bella to find a life just for them and away from the supernatural pull the place around them seemed to cast. He desperately wishes now, that he'd come back to visit on better terms, that he'd come back on his own accord. That he'd come back, if not for Seth and Leah, for his pack.
Charlie's voice cuts him out of his thoughts and his eyes cut back to the man, not being able to source the couple through the thick rows of people.
"Seth, Leah - You should both know that your mother loved you more than she could ever show and more than she could say. I know it's not much but let me assure you that there will always be a place in 'our' home for you both. I just want to thank you for being good kids, good to your mother and good to me. We both wouldn't have made it without you."
Jacob wonders what Charlie means and takes note to question him later as he watches a huge burly man step forward to shake Charlie's hand and pat his back. Bella's father looks so small with all the shape-shifters around him, and Jacob wonders if they have gotten even bigger since his departure.
He can't help but freeze when the man turns and little Seth Clearwater's face is attached to the body of a giant. He still looks like the same Seth that farewelled him and Bella, but there is no longer a naive, happy boy. In his place is a man who has earned the respect of his peers, a man who commands attention and a man who has lost something dear to him.
He blinks a couple of times, his jaw wired shut and unable to move. It's like Seth can't see him, or in fact chooses not to acknowledge him. The way he moves to comfort Charlie is tender as if he would break the poor human man with a simple hug and it isn't until Seth walks to the front that Jacob notices another difference.
Seth limps toward the middle of the grassed area and turns to look around at the crowd as if contemplating the right words to address them with. His once boyish features are now a man's and are set in a steel casing of wired strength. But the limp - Jacob knows that it is not a new injury, he knows that because he fails to pick up any hint of blood, not even in the faintest. He wonders how Seth got the injury, how long ago it happened, who else had been hurt. He wonders whether it was the result of vampires scouring the area or a fateful 'human' accident.
Seth's brown orbs finally meet his and it feels like energy pulses around them and like the word challenge lingers in the air. That is, until Seth gives him a small nod which he returns in like. Jacob feels as though he can finally get a gust of air in his empty chest as Seth nods complacently to himself and drags his tongue over his bottom lip in an act that could be described only as unnerved.
He cocks his head to the side looking down at the Echinacea flowers on his mother's coffin and gives a small weary smile like he's found a memory inside him that has reminded him of his mother. A memory that can be shared amongst friends and family.
The instant Seth begins to speak; Jacob's attention is again caught by something else.
This time it's Leah.
He knows it's her; he has no doubts about that. She looks different in aspects but overall, she is the same Quileute girl. She is still tall, lean and beautiful as always. Even though her younger brother dwarfs her in comparison, she still has strength. It's in the way she stands, the way she looks up at him as he speaks, the ways she tucks under his arm as he drapes it across her straight, strong shoulders.
It appears more has happened in the time Jacob has been away. A long thin scar stains Leah golden skin and Jacob gulps loudly as he follows it. It stretches from her cheek to under her jaw and follows a diagonal line down her collar bone to under the confines of her black top. He clears his throat to snap his eyes away from the area of flesh he's been looking at once Bella reaches to take his hand. Tentatively he rests his large palm on her small shoulder and it doesn't take her long until she's brought up her right hand across her body and rests it upon his. The feel of her flesh subsides him for only a moment before he feels the intense burning being cast at him.
Glancing up he realises where the heat is coming from.
Leah has finally noticed him in the crowd. Her eyes are black with anger seeing him again. He knows what she is thinking. He can almost hear the accusations inside her head directed at him, he can feel her rage, her bottomless pit of sadness and her surprise. He wants to look away but he can't. He wants to pull way, he wants to get back in his car and head back to Phoenix with Bella but the weight of her stare is holding him in place.
When he'd left, he'd left as an Alpha, but now under her gaze he feels like nothing more than an Omega, a Gamma wolf worth less than the ground he stands upon. The tables had turned so quietly he hadn't realised that by leaving he would give place for others to move up, become more. The one difference which was clear was that these wolves had earned their status whereas he had merely been born into the position. Though as soon as her gaze starts, it ends just as suddenly when both her and her brother begin moving away from the centre of attention.
Jacob closes his eyes tightly before opening them again. Bella looks concerned as she rises from her chair and hugs him deeply; the emotional baggage weighing heavily on them both. Resting his cheek on her hair, he listens to the sweet nothings she is whispering - the assurance that things would be okay, the promise that it would all get better with time. He wants to argue with her and tell her some things always remain. Some things like the limp that Seth's walk now accompanies, like the thin scar that Leah wears, and the death of Sue Clearwater. Instead he nods and wraps his arms around her, humming quietly to the beginning of an old Quileute song led by his own father.
.
The sounds of the wiper blades dragging across the windows make him uneasy as he pushes the gear into park. The slow Forks drizzle had been building progressively throughout the day and Jacob knew that tonight they would be in for one hell of a storm.
"Jake?" Bella whispers, laying a gentle hand against his panted thigh to make sure he is okay.
"Hmm," he manages to reply, his eyes still trained on the multi-storey house in front of them. He can see movement inside the house and he wonders how many people are here and if they should even go in. Cars line the gravelled driveway leading up to the house and Jacob bites his bottom lip.
Bedside's his mothers, he's never been to a funeral, never been the one having to offer kind words and promises of a better future. He remembers all the adults speaking to him at his mother's wake, as if he himself were dying. Making sure that he was okay, telling him that she was a good woman and would be proud of him. He hadn't wanted to hear it back then, a feeling which no doubt the Clearwater's shared now. Instead he just wanted his mother to come home like all motherless boys wanted.
"We can come back another time if you want. I am sure Dad will understand," she breathes beside him, letting him know he is not the only one unsure about going inside.
Bella is aware that she is the reason for them leaving and knows that the pack have still not forgiven her. She had taken their true Alpha away from them, taken the selfish chance to leave and have Jacob all to herself. Had things been different, she wouldn't have had to. Had Edward not left-
But the fact remains that she did and there was not a thing that she would apologise for. Jacob was her best friend, she deserved to have him with her. They'd become easy lovers over time, and she loved him as much as she could.
"No," Jacob sighs, running a hand over his neck and shaking his head only a fraction. "It would be rude of us to not pay our respects. Plus, Charlie needs you."
"He needs you too Jake," she smiles, grasping on to his hand as he kisses her knuckles. Jacob has always been so sweet, so affectionate and she can't help wondering if Edward would have done the same.
"Sure, sure." He half-heartedly chuckles knowing that her statement was a nothing but a white lie. While he and Charlie got along over the years, it was Bella who was closest to her father. A long phone call home every month proving so.
Getting from the car to the door Jacob notices a shift in the tree line bordering the property. He can see their shadows dance amongst the greenery. He stops and blinks away the rain drops from his eyelids. They stand only a metre back, their heads bowed to him in greeting. He nods back to them in acknowledgement as Bella comes to a stop beside him.
"They're all here, aren't they?"
Licking the salty drops from his lips it dawns on him that he is crying. Having the pack so close makes his heart break. In leaving them he feels as though he's left a part of himself behind, a void that no matter how much he tried, the woman beside him would never be able to fill.
"Yeah," he breathes deeply, trying to pull himself together for the rest of the afternoon. "They're here."
The house hums in sadness; people whisper and mourn amongst themselves. His wolf hearing allows him to hear every word they speak, every strained voice, every crack before tears flow again. Bella finds her father quickly while he stands awkwardly in the living area, surrounded by friends and family of the Clearwater's and Swan's.
His eye catches a glint of silver through a narrow gap between people huddled together. His interest draws him closer and he finds himself looking out into the sprawling yard.
His father sits quietly, his chair facing the back drop of the forest, his hand lying protectively on Leah's shoulder. She sits on the grass, her back toward the house and her knees tucked up to her chest. He knows Billy is talking by the way Leah nods every now and then, how she tenses before releasing a breath of air with help from a small comforting squeeze from the older man's hand. Her hair softly blows in the wind, scraping the material of her shirt, and he marvels at how it's grown.
It seems strange watching the two, as if he's inadvertently stumbled across another intimate moment. With a lasting pat on the crown of her head from Billy, Leah stands and kisses his father's cheek before meandering toward the trees. Her feet are bare and he watches her movement, her grace, her fury, her despair, all translated through her body language as she moves.
Jacob takes the opportunity to slip out the back door and heads toward his father who hums a tune. The tune is old, one he remembers as a boy but can't quite place. The rain has eased now but the wind continues to tussle the leaves of the tall trees.
"You came," Billy states before Jacob reaches his father. It's like he shares in the pack senses with his uncanny ability, even if the wheelchair bound body does not reflect such.
"I - Charlie needed us," he replies in haste, unsure of what his father really wants to hear. The time he's been away has stretched their father son relationship to the point of being unrecognisable, but still deep in his bones he feels the undying connection. They share the same blood lines, the same heritage, and the same eyes.
Billy shakes his head and sighs, running a hand over his neck, reminding Jacob of himself. "They need you, too. Leah and Seth. Charlie lost a wife, but those two lost a mother. Maybe you can talk to them?"
Jacob can hear the words his father doesn't speak. Because you lost a mother too.
Swallowing loudly, he shrugs, not sure how he could comfort them. He himself had not handled his mother death at all. Between the crying and the promises to be a better son, he still hadn't gotten what he wanted.
"I don't know if it would help them any. I don't think they would want my help. I - I still don't think they even want me around."
"This is your home, Jacob. You are the Chiefs only son. No one could ever bar you from these lands."
The statement is strange with Billy taking on a third person tone but Jacob nods, opting to stand by his father and stare out into the woods.
"She misses you, you know. No matter how hard she denies it, it's written all over her."
"I hurt her, Dad. I'm the last person she would miss."
"That's not true. You meant – mean - a lot to her. You were a friend when no one else would listen. You gave her purpose. When you left-"
Billy voice trails off, a thickness stopping his speech from continuing. Jacob feels his heart clench remembering the moment Leah came to him, begging him not to leave. His departure meant that she would go back to following under Sam's rein and continuing her nightmare of having to hear every thought of his precious Emily. Thinking of Emily has peaked his wonder over her scar. Leah had always been a fast wolf and a stronger fighter and it was hard to believe anyone would be able to catch her to inflict such an injury.
"What happened to her? The scar, I mean. Was it a vampire?"
Billy nods, clasping his hands together to begin his recollection of events. "The Cullen's. Their vampire lords came back for the pack after the new born fight. With the Cullen coven and the ability of foresight gone, Sam and the others had no idea of what was coming. They wanted the pack to serve them and wouldn't leave until they had either taken them back to Italy or seen them all dead. They put up a strong resistance but the vampires swarmed into homes."
His father takes a deep breath before continuing. "Things have changed Jacob. Within the pack, within all of them. It might surprise you to know they are not the same people they were when you left."
Jacob can feel the soft drops of rain begin to pick up. Looking up towards the Heavens he notices the dark rolling clouds which look as though they have permanently settled over Forks and LaPush.
"I wish I could have done something - somehow," he whispers as his jaw angles back to the horizon of greenery. "Been there for them."
Billy turns slowly in his chair and it's the first time that Jacob realises that his father will one day too pass. The lines in his face have deepened; his skin is pasty, old as is his age. He feels the same aching clench in his gut as fireworks shoot off in his mind - that while he has a choice to live forever, his father and most of those around him do not.
"You choose your fate son." Billy replies with a pained smile. "The hardest part of life is living with those choices."
.
Once everyone leaves the house, Jacob helps Bella tidy up after putting her father to bed while Rachel drives Billy home. Charlie's had a rough day and not even the joy of seeing his only daughter can dwell any of his sadness. Sue Clearwater had been to Charlie what any of the imprinted couples claimed to have. While they argued about pointless things, like which day to barbecue their dinner and which plants to breed in the nursery, they still loved each other. At the end of the day, after a hard day at the hospital or at the station, they had each other's hand to hold. Their love was mature, simple and based on the basics in life. A smile, a quiet hug, sharing a story of their day and just merely holding each other in the middle of the night. The realisation that Charlie will wake up tomorrow morning without Sue still hasn't sunken into him yet.
But it will. It always does.
They collect the half-eaten trays of food which many of the women had brought with them and Bella manages to alternate between dumping the food in containers for her father and washing them in soapy water. Jake takes a moment to stand behind Bella and kiss her brown hair. She still smells of apples and he wonders if it's her natural scent or the soap she uses.
"I love you," he whispers for her ears only, earning a small sigh from her.
"I know Jake." she answers shortly more intent on finishing cleaning than spending a moment to break.
Before Jacob can say anymore the sound of arguing reaches his ears. He knows it's coming from the back yard and can easily distinguish that one of the voices is female, meaning only one thing.
"Stay here Bells."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," Jacob nods licking his bottom lip trying to get a better more coherent understanding of what the two are arguing about. He tilts his head, ears straining.
"I'll be back in a second."
"Step over that line and I'll rip you apart"
He hears her long before he sees her. Her voice is drained, hoarse and full of hopelessness. He can feel her pain in the tone she uses and he really wants to find out who is upsetting her now more than ever.
"You used me to get over her. You fucking used me," she hisses, malice lacing each word.
"Leah-"
Jacob's spine tenses at the sound of the voice. Within seconds he knows who the unidentified participant is. A deep swirling motion rumbles through his stomach and he can feel the weightlessness of nausea take him over. He wants to hurl on his own shiny dress shoes, wants to scream.
"You know that's not what I said, Leah. Plus, you were using me to, right? To get back at him, to see if he cared enough to stop you?"
"You really think I care what he thinks of me? I couldn't give two shits. He could run to the other side of the world for all I cared."
Jacob can tell she's lying and he wonders for a moment if the 'he' they are so animatedly referring to is him.
"Come back with me. Let's talk this over."
"I swear to God, Cullen. You step one foot over that fence line your ass is mine," she snarls dangerously, her voice nearing the pitch of a pre-phase episode.
Jacob can feel the strength in her voice and he himself has trouble moving toward the two.
"Fine, Leah. Fine. Have it your way. You know where I'll be. Come and find me once you realise you've made a mistake," the male voice sighs in frustration.
Jacob doesn't have time to catch Edward face to face as he steps through the shrubs but he does see a tiny slither of bronze moving through the trees back toward the household his family still owns. He wonders if anyone else knows Edward Cullen is still in Washington and not in France as the rest of his family was. He also wonders why Leah, out of all the people in the world would be talking – arguing – with a leech.
"Eavesdropping is rude. Or haven't you heard?" Leah hisses as she stomps toward him to pass.
Jacob wants to say so many things, ask her how she been, how the pack has been coping. He can see she's upset and his wolf so desperately wants to understand what is wrong with his pack mate. It wants to nuzzle her, groom her coat, and-
"I'm sorry," he offers, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably.
"For what?" she challenges, her hazel eyes searching his face and waiting for a reasonable reply. He was always amazed at the way her eyes burnt a bright ring of green around her black iris when she was angry.
"Everything?"
"Yeah. Me too," she snorts in pained amusement, rolling her eyes as she strolls past him, intent on leaving the area as soon as possible.
Jacob hates that the conversation between them doesn't flow as it once would. He hates that Edwards face swirls in his mind, and he hates thinking about all the things Bella had once done with the disgusting bloodsucker. Out of instinct his hand snaps towards her wrist and he holds her tightly, not letting her move an inch away from him until he has the answers to the hundred or so questions that had suddenly popped into his mind.
"What the fu-"
"What is he doing here?"
Tugging at her arm Leah tries to remove herself from the vice grip he has on her but he won't allow it. He won't let her go until he has more answers.
"I believe he was stopping by for a cup of tea and a biscuit, gov-na" Leah bites back in a cocky British accent which only instigates more anger inside of him.
"Seriously Leah-" Before he can go on she cuts him off quickly.
"Seriously? Oh okay. Fine. Let's be serious then. What is it that you so desperately want to know, oh mighty long-lost Alpha?" He can see the cogs in her mind spinning and he wants to tell her to stop, tell her not to antagonise him and to just answer the question.
"What is he doing here?"
Leah huffs and pulls her hand free, rubbing at the skin around her wrist which will no doubt bruise, even if the weight of the grip was unintentional. "He's not here to see Bella, if that's what you're trying to suggest."
"Why would he come here then? Why would he show up the day we get back?" he snaps back just as coldly. He can feel tremors riding his spine like a rollercoaster.
"Oh my God! The world doesn't revolve around you Jacob. Or Bella. Maybe we're friends; maybe me and the leech go and have picnics on First beach. Maybe I watch him drink the blood of animals and then we go skipping down Main Street in all his sparkly glory. Bella's not the only female around here if you haven't noticed."
"What are you saying?" he growls out, feeling his back tense and his hands fist. "Are you sleeping with the leech?"
Tugging a tie from her wrist, he watches as she pushes the hair from her face and neck to set it high on her head. "Vampire's don't sleep remember?"
He knows she is trying to mess with him, trying to make him angry but is unsure of the purpose. This was Leah Clearwater after all, hater of all things supernatural.
Before he can ask her how all this shit started she brushes him off and begins walking towards Charlie's house. "Go back to your perfect little world, Black. We don't need you here – don't want you here."
Jogging to keep up with her, he notices the way her pace quickens as if she were running from him. Being the fastest in wolf form gives Leah the advantage but as a human Jacob's legs are longer and make meters much quicker than hers.
"I thought we were friends Leah?" He calls out, and immediately cringes when she stops and spins on the balls of her feet.
He stands frozen when he watches her stalk back toward him, her index finger raised ready to serve out another whip lashing.
"Friends?" she yelps stepping so close he is unable to stop the rush of her scent from invading his personal space. She smells fresh, like the first rain, like fire, like the pine of the tall trees of the woods, like-
"You wouldn't know anything about friends, Jacob."
"Leah come on-" he tries to start playfully but he knows she's not buying it.
"Just. Go. I don't want you here. None of us do. I don't want them getting their hopes up to think you'll stay. So just please - leave – before you hurt anyone else."
"Lee – I -"
With a sigh she rubs the side of her neck, trying to relieve the tension there. Jacob feels bad, feels the need to comfort her somehow, sit with her, talk about old times, try and remember the good times they had, the time she spent with her parents. He notices the way her fingers pull back away from her neck once her fingers brush the long thin scar, her eyes widening like she's remembered it's there suddenly.
"Bella's waiting for you," Leah jerks her head toward her back and he is surprised he hasn't noticed Bella standing on the porch with her arms crossed, watching them. "Wouldn't want to keep the love of your life waiting."
"Jacob?" Bella calls out; worried that Leah has come to start more trouble for Jacob. She never seemed to understand the connection belonging to the Alpha and the she-wolf and still blames Leah for Jacob being injured all those years ago. She'd heard word from Emily a while ago that in the natural course of the wolves an Alpha pair was always prominent, hence their closeness.
Bella wants desperately to believe that it isn't true, much like the annotation of imprinting. Even though they had explained it could happen at any time, she refused to believe that Jacob would leave her. She knew he would fight. When Edward called off the wedding and disappeared she was thankful that Jacob was still there, otherwise she may have not gotten through it.
"I'm fine Bell's. Go back inside."
With a roll of her eyes Leah turns back and continues walking toward the house, a small coy smile on her full lips. She looks over Bella Swan and can't help but sneer at her. Leah never understood what Jacob saw in the girl. She was boring, plain, clumsy as all Hell and a horrible conversationalist. Trying to hold a conversation with her was about a useless as one of the pack member trying to hold a job. A waste of time and utterly pointless.
"Hi Leah," Bella whispers politely, her eyes slowly dropping to the ground as Leah walks towards her. Bella can feel the dominance radiating from the she-wolf and like many other animals it was unwise to hold their stare too long. She didn't want Leah to think she was trying to challenge her.
"Swan."
"How are you holding up?"
"Fucking fabulously, you know, since my mother died and all. You?" Leah replies sarcastically making Bella cringe.
"I'm okay, I guess."
The conversation is awkward to say the least but just before Leah pushes open the back door to the house she has permanent lodgings in, she turns to Bella and gives out her best, most charming smile.
"Oh, and Bella - one more thing... Edward says 'hey'."
With a small chuckle, Leah glides into the house, satisfied at the horrific look on the human girl's face.
Oh, how the mighty fall.