Yay, ninja turtles! I was watching tmnt lately and I just felt like I'm in a turtlely mood so this happened. I'd like to think of this as a collection of one-shots(that may become more than just one-shots) with a song incorporated into each chapter corresponding to the character. I'll take in requests for future chapters if anyone would like to. So anyways thanks for reading, enjoy, and please review. :)

Rated R for Raph and his potty mouth

I don't own TMNT or the song

If You Have to Ask- Red Hot Chili Peppers

It's early August, smack in the middle of the unbearable heat of summer, but it's humid out tonight. Dark clouds roll their way over the city. I'm surrounded by some lowlife thugs; they got nothing better to do but I don't either so it's cool I think. They just made my night even better. I grin with Sais at hand; they circle 'round me, swingin' their bats an' chains. These wannabe gangsters really think they can be like those 'badass' Purple Dragons; dumbasses. Heh, so what if they robbed some banks and lil ol' ladies, it ain't much to meet my standards. Not my kind of guys ya know, I'd want a lil more of a challenge but these punks would have to do for now. One, I think their leader, a douchebag with tattoos on every inch of his body and a stupid green Mohawk, points a finger at me.

"Sock 'im, boys!"

"What? No intros?" nah, these guys got no manners so they charge forth but I don't got manners either. They clash into each other as I leap backwards and only a few manage to find me again to swing their bats and shoot. They're just armatures using toys too good for 'em. They could poke their own eyes out. Speakin' of which, I slash a guy's eye out and he screams, thrashes 'round before accidentally poking his other eye out. I kick ass after ass, stab a log of meat after meat, and end reproduction. They lay in sad piles. Just a few and reinforcements come from I don't know where. Who cares, I'm really happy now. I beckon 'em with my hand.

"Anybody wanna come get some?" of course they do; they all at once run at me, weapons high above their heads. But two getting punched in the chin, three kicked away to the left, one stabbed is enough to slow the rest and make 'em hesitate. Big mistake. I take 'em down in, I dunno know, a few seconds. Yeah, couldn't be a minute or two. The leader still stands, my wide open, lookin' back and forth, between me and his homies. He stumbles to run across the street and into the shadows of the ally. I love a good chase. Jumping across the street using the lamp post I hold onto a fire escape and have clear visual of 'im. He really thinks he can run away. Motherfucker will not be told to go, not when I'd like to kick his ass. He turns 'round over and over before I leap down into a shadow and push him down from behind. He quivers on the ground, sucks his thumb and I think he just pissed himself. Gross. I pick 'im up off the ground by the collar.

"P-please don't kill me! I'll give you anything, you name it." I pretend to think but instead I spat out a 'nah' in his face. He gulps.

"Please, please, please, please! Don't kill me! Just who do you think you are!" this catches my attention-

"Well, if you have to ask,"-but I'm done with 'im. I punch 'im unconscious on the ground and leave 'im there.

"Actually, you'll never know."