Castiel had always heard the Angels.
"You driving is much to erratic." said Michael
Raphael nodded in agreement "Is it really your goal to get yourself killed, if so, you've almost got it."
Whether they were figments of his imagination, or sentient beings from heaven Castiel had decided long ago, was beside the point.
"Aw, shut up!" Lucifer cackled.
"With the roads as traitorous as they are, it would be wise-" Michael began
"It's just a bit of rain."
"Yes, and the sun is positively frigid to the touch." Gabriel snorted
"Nobody would be stupid enough to touch the sun but you! Go back to being a janitor." Lucifer dismissed. "Point is, Castiel has places to go, like hell, when he crashes his car into the median."
"Actually," Raphael corrected snottily. "Castiel, so far, is on the road to heaven, or at least an abridged stay in purgatory."
"See Cas," Gabriel grinned. "See who your friends are! Raphael wants to throw you to the Leviathans."
"Yes let's throw him to the Leviathans shall we!"
Lucifer clapped in glee at the prospect and Michael glared pointedly at his brother. "Lucifer is you don't shut your mouth, so help me I will throw you back into your cage!"
"Ha! I'd like to see you try!"
Regardless of they were congregations of his mind gone mad or actual angels-
"Castiel! Can we stop for cake? Or candy! Or-"
"Demon blood?"
They were un-fucking-believably annoying
"We could always eat the pizza." Lucifer commented.
Castiel tensed. Somehow, the beings that no one but him could see were able to touch and affect things in the physical world, causing mayhem that, unfortunately, everyone could see. Gabriel constantly played pranks and jokes on Castiel, making him look like an idiot or a fool. Better embarrassment, though, then the long lasting consequences of whenever Lucifer decided to fuck with something. While Gabriel would simply yank Castiel's pants down in the middle of a class presentation, Lucifer would compel Castiel to say horrible things about his classmates and teachers.
"That pizza is for the customer." Raphael snapped. While Raphael was the only one of the four that hated Castiel with a passion, sometimes Castiel had to be grateful with his rigid sense of morality. He and Michael were sometimes able to keep Lucifer in check, sometimes.
"Why the hell would you become a pizza man anyway?" Lucifer threw his head back into the seat and let out a groan of annoyance.
Gabriel started snickering and Castiel blushed.
A few weeks ago Castiel's best friend Balthazar showed Castiel a video. It had been extremely confusing but no less…captivating. Balthazar had called it 'porn.' The video had consisted of a pizza man delivering to a certain house were in a baby sitter resided. Things escalated in a rather sexual manner.
Gabriel unfortunately had materialized right at the point the video was reaching its climax. On realizing what exactly it was, Gabriel became convinced that Castiel had thought that by become an employee of the local pizza shop would allow him to engage in similar activities. It didn't matter that Castiel had submitted his application days before seeing the video.
It could have been worse, though. Lucifer could have popped in, or Michael.
"Oh there are reasons." Gabriel smiled vaguely
"If you're not going to say anything relevant don't speak at all." Michael said
Raphael sighed loudly "You just passed the house." He said. Castiel slammed on the breaks. Raphael muttered something about how ridiculously useless he was.
The pizza, thank god, was, for the most part, unharmed. Castiel scooped it up and started walking toward the house, hoping that the angels would just stay in the car.
They didn't.
Arguing amongst themselves, they staid a few steps behind him. Taking a deep breath, Castiel stepped onto the walkway and reached out to press the door buzzer. A dinging noise sounded and after a few moments, someone opened the door
Michael opened the door.
Castiel stood frozen as Michael gave him a very not Michael like smile.
"Early? Great, I'm starved." said Michael.
Castiel shot a glance over his shoulder, all four angels were standing just a little ways behind him, including Michael. But when Castiel looked back, he was met with the piercing green eyes of the arch angel.
"What's you name?" Castiel blurted.
"Uh- Dean. Dean Winchester? My pizza right? Under Winchester?" Michael-Dean looked down at the pizza like the idea of being parted with it was unimaginable.
"Winchester?" asked a voice right next to Castiel's ear.
"You okay?" Dean asked.
"Fine," Castiel assured.
"Winchester!" Lucifer said again. Then he smiled in a way which, from experience, told Castiel there would be trouble. "We are going to have some fun here."
Lucifer bounded into the house and Castiel gasped in dismay. One thing he'd learned was to never, ever, let the angels near people alone. Popping in and out of existence was one thing, that was their memes of transportation from spirit world to physical one. Leaving them alone in their physical form, however, could spell disaster. Last time he'd let Gabriel escape, the school had nearly burned down, and that was Gabriel!
There was no use, Castiel would have to go in and get him.
Dean was still looking at him, an arched eyebrow and a concerned look made Castiel flash back to their earlier exchange. Demanding the customer's name? Reacting visibly, no doubt, to the angel's antics? He'd probably looked insane.
He probably was insane but that was beside the point.
"Hey?" Dean tried to catch the other man's eye. "Do you need to come-"
"Yes!" Castiel interrupted, jumping up on the door frame and pushing past the other man. He even couldn't think of being polite, his mind was too preoccupied on the havoc Lucifer was probably already wreaking on the house.
"Um, okay then."
Castiel tried to ignore the incessant whispers of the angels behind him. Less easy to shut out were the cackles echoing down the hallway. Following the sound, Castiel barreled into a large well lit living room.
He noticed two things at once.
The first was that Lucifer had somehow, in the moments he'd left him alone, destroyed this living room.
The second was that an abnormally large boy was franticly jumping and yelling at the angel in an effort to stop him from causing any further damage.
Which meant the boy could see Lucifer.
Gabriel stepped up next to Castiel. Taking one look at the scene he let out a whistle.
"Who's that?" he asked
That was the question.