Although a one shot, it sort of follows suit to 'Podium'. The scene with Jane sitting at her desk looking at all the cards from children, mimicked a similar time in my career not long ago where kids from the local grade school made the officers in my department 'Thank You' cards. Again, being able to relate, I took the creative ball and ran with it. Still Rizzles angst related as are all my stories.
Comment if you wish as they are much appreciated and my disclaimer as always….the characters are not mine….property of Tess, Janet and TNT
The cards we're dealt
She sits at her desk littered with news paper clippings, all of which are about her. A hunched over Jane stares at the haphazard pile before her, loosely skimming through article after article…"Hero Cop Still In Coma"…."Boston's Finest Sacrifices Self To Save Others"…..with an aggravated huff, she tosses them aside. What's revealed underneath all the clutter however, are several cards, which were hand crafted by numerous tiny humans who attend the District 19 Elementary School across the street.
A small smile cracks the lips of the stoic detective as she cautiously opens the first card, colored with a purple sun and a stick figure, which Jane figures is a Picasso of her, created courtesy of the imagination of a 6 year old, mind you.
"Tack you poleece for ceep as safe"….Jane covers her mouth and giggles, as if shielding herself from skeptic eyes, even though she's the only one in the dimly lit bureau. Clearly touched, she picks up another card and unconsciously lets a sigh escape. A pink piece of paper this time, unevenly folded with large, glittery gold stars attached…"the polices are in get the queen"….again, she lets a gruff and husky laugh bellow, just loud enough to catch the attention of the chief medical examiner as she walked by, clearly not expecting to see her friend sitting at her desk after hours.
Instead of entering the bureau, potentially startling the detective and selfishly protecting herself from getting accused of 'hovering' and chastising, Dr. Maura Isles silently watches from the doorway as Jane painfully reflects upon her traumatic past.
Closure. It's good for her, necessary in order to move on in the healing process. Maura thinks to herself as she looks on.
Jane doesn't realize or notice the salty tear that escapes its duct as it rolls down her cheek, and onto one of the cards as it dilutes orange marker, spreading itself to grow into an artistically stained ring.
Maura cocks her head. She knows this emotion. She's seen it time and time again over the last eight months and has become quite familiar with it, including knowing how to diffuse it.
The detective, in one angry sweep from a scarred hand, discards of several months worth of painful memories and watches as they scatter all over the linoleum floor. Her fists angrily pound the top of her desk, causing the key board to her computer to jump in its place.
This isn't her typical 'temper tantrum'. She's scared.
Maura's brain functions similar to that of a 'Rolodex' sometimes, and she's much better at recognizing how and when to be human.
Jane plops her head down on top of folded arms, and sobs into the sleeves of her neatly starched class 'A' uniform shirt.
Maura slips into the room without being noticed and wraps her arms around her friend, burying her face into the precisely pinned back bun of Jane's normally wild mane.
She whispers "Hey…its ok sweetie…it's ok…it's not your fault".
A muffled and childish whine escapes.
"What did we do? Me and Frankie….WE'RE the good ones! Why is this happening to our family?"
Maura releases her grip and slowly spins Jane's chair around, kneeling before her, both hands now caressing the detective's knees.
"Jane….it's not your fault your parents are getting divorced".
The detective roughly wipes her eyes, clearly agitated at herself for crying.
"Ugh! Yes. It. Is. If Frankie and I hadn't gotten hurt….I dunno….none of this would've happened! We weren't around….ya know?...We could've….I dunno….stopped it or something…"
Crazed arms fly around in the air expressing the detective's consorted feelings.
Maura's hands move from Jane's knees to lovingly grasp the limbs that move emotionally about, interlocking her fingers with the ones that now tremble.
Jane captures the stare of the medical examiner and she sniffles back the mucous that tries escaping her flared nostrils. She listens to what Maura has to offer.
"Jane….there were issues occurring in your parents marriage before you and your brother were injured. Blaming yourself for something that was beyond your control is….well, it's self destructive, really".
Jane lets out a huff of air before speaking again.
"I know….I…. didn't want to see it maybe. Frankie….he knew something wasn't right. He kept trying to tell me and I kept blowing him off…"
With a squeeze of her hands, Maura breaks free from the detective and retrieves one of the cards lying on the ground. The doctor assumes her position again in front of Jane, submissive in every sense of the word, and holds up the card she chose.
"This Jane is what you need to focus on right now".
With a grunt and a wince made up of sheer annoyance, Jane turns her face away.
Maura, with her free hand caresses Jane's cheek, forcing her to look down at the card.
"These children idolize you Jane. They are part of the reason why you do what you do. They, just like everyone else out here, including me….. needs you".
Jane lightens her glare from a hardened scowl to a barely noticeable grin and follows up with a signature wink.
"You need me huh?...You know Maura, I almost half believe you…."
The doctor chuckles and playfully hits the detective with the card before handing it back to her.
"Would you like me to stay with you tonight? It's been awhile….."
Jane stops dead in her tracks as she stands up. She can feel her heart begin to pound and her palms break into a damp sweat.
"Isn't Doctor DooLittle gonna miss you if you don't come home?"
Maura purses her lips and narrows her eyes. She's gotten considerably better at 'come backs' too, as Jane like to call them.
"I stop offering my bed to those who condescendingly attribute my experience as an accredited doctor to that of a 'pathologist'…who just…you know, never mind…a shove of his brief case into his Transversus Abdominis this morning sent the letter that he best beat pedis…"
Jane looks on in horror.
"Oh man….Maura….sweetie….you mean 'sent the message' and 'beat feet'…bless your heart….so, he's out of the picture now, yeah?"
Jane didn't mean for that to come out as it sounded. She'd literally die if Maura ever figured out how she really felt about her and scrambled to correct the FUBAR.
"I mean….that's…. terrible!"
With a deflated look of relief and a sigh, Maura beams at the taller woman before her.
"No…it's not. I think I was just filling some sort of void, sexual in nature. I have no use for him now".
I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole.
Jane ignores the comment.
"Well, I'm going home. It's been a long night. You comin'?"
Good God that sounded desperate.
"I mean….since you offered and all….I…."
Maura shows Jane a teethy grin and a nod of her head before heading out the bureau doors.
"I'd love to".
I'm glad she said something. I just want to be close to her again, it's been too long.
Before closing the door behind her, Jane looks over her shoulder at her long missed home away from home and whispers…
"Welcome back….."