Private Hell

X marks the spot where the dig begins. The treasure is found within the broken hearts that are soaked with fear. –"Slow dance"

I can believe he's gone; thought Kitty, silently to herself. Her room felt too still as she sat at her computer. She had to finish an Ethics essay for Professor Xavier but she couldn't seem to concentrate. She had too many thoughts rolling around in her brain.

It had only been two weeks since he had left them and already people seemed to have forgotten about him. Rogue and Bobby acted like he was dead. Nobody said his name; no one talked about what happened. It was like every memory of him in this mansion had dissipated and simply flew away.

Kitty pulled her small dark green sweater around her thin arms. It suddenly felt cold in her room. She shrugged it off until she realized that she hadn't left the window open in her room so she stood to check if it was still shut. When she turned, she was met with two blue eyes penetrating her own brown ones. He was there. It took all of her effort not to scream. She knew if she did it would wake up everyone in the mansion and he would leave. She didn't want him to leave.

It hadn't even been that long and already he looked different. He wore form fitting black pants with boots that made him look taller and more menacing. He wore a tight black shirt. No jacket; just his shirt. He looked intimidating; he looked evil. But when she looked into his blue eyes all she saw was kindness. They were soft and big as he watched her calm herself down.

"John?" She simply asked. He didn't respond, he wouldn't have known what to say anyway. He just stood with his arms limply at his sides. Kitty always knew he wasn't very tall but he was still towering over her. She got an overwhelming feeling in her gut as she looked up at him; noticing all too well how much smaller than him she was.

As for John, he looked down at Kitty as he desperately searched for something appropriate to say. But, what do you say to the one girl who you had always been in love with, although now you found that you were enemies? All because of one simple choice that you made. How do you apologize? John closed his eyes to try and clear his head; that was running a mile and minute it seemed.

When he looked back at her, she was practically sobbing in her hands. John panicked, and before he really thought about what he was doing; he took her face in his hands. She opened her eyes too look at him as he clumsily wiped her tear stained cheeks. His nerves were on end and he felt like every limb in his body was shacking, though he couldn't tell if it was him or Kitty.

"Listen, I know this is all really confusing but I'm just trying to sort everything out because I don't think I'll ever see you again. I just couldn't leave without giving you a real goodbye…"He said, as his voice came out weak and trembling. Kitty was still letting the tears seep from her eyes onto her cheeks as she moved her tiny fingers up to his face. It felt rough and warm; just as she always thought it would.

"Don't try to hard to understand because I hardly understand it myself. I've always been alone, Kitty; always. But, whenever I looked at you…I don't know. I felt…full, ya know?" John said as he furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. He was speechless and at the moment it was killing him. He wanted to just say it. To tell her he loved her; like he'd never loved anything in the world. Even his mutation. John sighed as he swallowed his pride.

He leaned his face towards hers and he felt her breath in. After a few lingering moments his soft lips grazed against hers. His strong hands snaked their way up her neck and wrapped itself in her soft brown hair. The kiss was very tentative at first but once he was sure Kitty wasn't going to pull away, he kissed a little harder. In a matter of moments the hesitant kiss escalated into frantic passion. This is what Kitty had always secretly wanted.

In that moment, Kitty felt okay with her life. She was fine being the little genius in the corner all alone with a book. She was fine being a third wheel to Bobby and Rogue. All because of this moment. All because John Allerdyce was kissing her.

Then, he pulled away. They stared at each other for close to a minute, both of them not wanting the moment to end. Kitty knew it was inevitable; she knew he was going to leave again. He took a step back to avoid temptation. He let his arms fall back to his sides. He couldn't stay and he knew it, he had to go back to Magneto. Kitty tried not to start crying again when he met her eyes once more.

"Just pretend like tonight never happened, okay?" said John quietly before he turned and stepped out of her bedroom window; the same way he had come in. Kitty stood in the center of her large room, alone. She didn't know to do; he had just left her there. Just her and her thoughts. After a few moments of silence, she simply lifted her hands to her face and cried; thinking that she would never see John for the rest of her life. Little did she know, almost a year later she would see him again…

The End