Battle dust.
Prologue.
This is war.
You're fighting for survival.
Every breath feels like it might be your last.
This is it, the end, hear me, Olivia?
You never realised before, not truly,
How one act,
One mistake,
Could change your life forever.
Was it worth it Olivia?
Words are a weapon.
More deadly, more dangerous, that the gun you carry with you each day.
You'd never be so reckless with your gun.
Never wave it around carelessly, pulling the trigger, blindly aiming.
It wasn't a game, wasn't a toy.
You knew this.
Why hadn't you taken more care with your words?
Why hadn't you realised the wounds you were inflicting?
Why, when you knew only too well how deeply her words could pierce you?
Every poisoned word shows that you never understood, Olivia. Not one thing.
Why had you never realised that so few words could mean so much?
Mean the world to you. Mean everything. And even fewer words could bring that same world crashing down around you.
You wanted your words back.
Wanted her to take hers back.
But once the shots have been fired there is nothing left.
Nothing left to do but clean up the blood.
Hoping, praying, that the bullet wounds weren't fatal.
How could you, Olivia?
You'd never realised how easy it is to lose sight of everything, of yourself.
Or how one person could make the world stop turning.
How one act could lead to the total destruction of everything you cherish.
You made your choice. Live with it Olivia.
But you can't live with it.
You've never really believed in paths with no way back.
Never believed you'd find yourself walking one.
But here you are.
There is no going back for us, Olivia. Ever.
You never understood how anyone could love another human being so much.
You'd do anything, Sacrifice anything.
Your own principles, beliefs, integrity.
Your own safety, life, comfort,
You risked it all.
And still come away from this looking like you're the bad guy?
How did that happen?
Everybody loves a hero, don't they Olivia?
In spite of all your sacrifices,
In spite of the battles you fought by her side,
The battles you fought on her behalf,
You couldn't do the one thing she demanded.
The one thing her allegiance seemed conditional to.
It's the only thing I've ever asked you for, Olivia.
You couldn't stand back and watch her destroy herself.
Destroy everything she believed in.
Everything she worked for,
Everything that she treasured.
You couldn't watch her make the biggest mistake of her life.
And, somehow, that ended up as the biggest mistake of yours.
You still don't get it, Olivia, You never did.
She's wrong.
You understood.
That's why you did it.
And her accusation infuriated you.
Snapped you out of any last shred of pity you felt for her.
Fuelled the battle flames.
You lost your temper.
Said things you didn't mean and can't retract.
Now I know how you really feel, Olivia.
You would have done it anyway,
Every last thing.
You know in your heart you would have done it without their encouragement.
But it doesn't stop you blaming the others.
Resenting them for forcing your hand.
For begging you, manipulating you, blackmailing you.
You're the only one who can get through to her Olivia, she'll listen to you Olivia, we've all tried, You're her last chance. Remember what will happen if you don't do this Olivia. Is that what you want?
They won.
Got what they wanted.
You gave in.
And it cost them nothing to realise it cost you everything.
Did they realise?
Did she?
I did what I had to do. What's so wrong with that Olivia?
How could she be so self obsessed?
It's not hurting anyone but me, It's my problem Olivia, butt out.
You didn't know how to tell her that she was so fucking wrong.
Not hurting anyone?
It was killing you.
Did she know that?
Did she care?
She asked you to butt out.
You couldn't.
You asked her forgiveness,
She couldn't give it.
Where did that leave you?
Are you really sorry, Olivia?
Tears in your eyes you refused to answer her.
Sorry you did it? Sorry you were caught?
'Sorry it hurt you', you had replied honestly.
Not willing to look her in the eyes and lie to her.
You went sorry for the outcome.
Weren't sorry for your well intentioned motives.
Why should you be?
You'd do it again, Olivia, in a heartbeat. How sorry can you be?
You're not forgiven.
It's not forgotten.
You'd never realised how someone else's resentment could lead you to hate yourself so deeply.
Even knowing you'd done nothing wrong.
Was that guilt?
Guilt eating you from the inside out?
And worse than her hatred, anger, resentment was that blank stare.
As if you're nothing.
Meaningless.
I don't have time for this, Olivia.
You never understood how easy it was for two people who love each other to pieces to end up hating one another.
I don't blame you, I don't hate you. But I don't trust you anymore.
She doesn't hate you.
Not anymore.
You just don't matter to me anymore, Olivia.
But you're afraid you hate her.
Hate her for leaving you behind for dust.
Olivia who?
She smiles falsely when she sees you
Speaks to you politely when the job demands it.
But she doesn't respect you anymore.
You don't respect yourself either.
Why is it that you're unable to pass her by without feeling sick to the stomach?
You're both still standing.
The war isn't over.
I'm tired of playing these games.
She's not playing anymore.
And you?
You're wounded, weary, broken.
You shake off the battle dust.
This isn't a war anymore.
It's just you.
Standing alone.
To be continued…