I do not own DBZ or any of its characters. One shot but I am more than willing to continue this story.

This is who I am. A shell of the man I was before. I am just a waste of space, a worthless scum. It should have been me, not him. He actually had a life to live, he was essential to our world and our survival. He had a wife and a son. His wife is pregnant again but the sadness in her eyes can never be taken away, new baby or not. He knew all this, yet he jumped in front of Cell and transported away. I saw a little boy lose his innocence and become a man. He watched his father die and then killed Cell himself. That shouldn't have happened. It should have been me. If I would have pressed that damn button he would still be here. But once again love has tricked me. No one would love a freak like me. Maron didn't, why should she?

So I went far away. Far away from Master Roshi and Oolong, from Gohan and Chichi, from Bulma, Vegeta, and Trunks, and from Yamcha and Tien. I wouldn't be a bother to anyone any longer. I went to a far off village in Japan. I didn't know the name of it nor did I care to find out. I suppressed my Ki so no one would find me and I lived in my solitary cabin in the woods. I cried myself to sleep every night. I trained in the secluded forest making sure to push myself extra hard, hoping to accidentally kill myself. I couldn't do it purposely, I owed Goku that much.

I almost got what I wanted but Kami obviously didn't want me to go to Other World just yet. I don't know how long I was unconscious but I woke up in my cabin, all my wounds were wrapped up and someone was sleeping in the chair next to my bed.

"Who are you and what do you want!" I snapped angrily startling my caretaker. Almost instantly I gasped and jumped back, then grimaced painfully.

"Don't move so much, your bones are borderline ya know," she said calmly. Her icy cool demeanor hadn't changed a bit since the Cell Games. She was still as beautiful as ever. How could I still be in love with her, she's the reason my best friend is dead…no…I'm the reason my best friend is dead. She's innocent. She was deprived of a life, a life that she deserved. Why did I get this life and she didn't? I am worthless and she is a gem.

"H-how did you find me?" I finally managed to say.

"I don't know, something just told me to come to this forest," 18 said confusion crossing her perfect features, "then I see you throw a Ki blast too big for this area and then you got buried under a pile of trees. Where you trying to kill yourself?"

"Why did you pull me out and tend to my wounds?"

"Well because you didn't press that button, because you protected me after Cell spit me out, because you made that wish to make me and my brother feel more human," 18 said, "I thought I owed you."

"You don't," I said harshly.

"What happened to you, Krillin? You weren't like this before."

"I'm not the same person I was before."

"So your heart of gold is gone? You don't care for your friends anymore? You're no longer willing to give your life for them?" 18 asked.

"I can never stop loving my friends, I would die for them in a heartbeat."

"So then you are the same man."

"No I'm not!" I snapped, "you shouldn't have pulled me out of there! You should have let me die! Die like the worthless scum that I am!" Tears flooded down my face in streaks and I couldn't control the sobs that wracked my body.

A slap to the face silenced my cries and left me in shocked silence. 18 was towering over me, anger etching her features. I hadn't seen that look in a while. I couldn't help but tremble but at the same time hope she would kill me. Then I saw something in her icy blue eyes that I had never seen before. Tears. I saw the tears slip down her cheeks like a feather falling slowly to the floor.

I sat up and looked at her. "18?" I said tentatively.

"Shut up!" 18 snapped, "how dare you? How dare you think that of yourself when everybody you love, worships you? Their life wouldn't be the same without you! Don't you know that? How dare you try to take your own life after Goku died to save it! How dare you almost die when I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I left that fucking Kami lookout? How fucking dare you think of yourself this way when I love you so much!"

I couldn't believe my ears. Was this a dream? I felt the sorrow inside me disappearing. Could it be? Someone actually loves me? The sting on my cheek told me that it wasn't a dream. This was really happening. The love of my life actually loved me! "18," I said as she fell to her knees and sobbed upon my mattress. I knelt down next to her and lifted her face so that our eyes could meet.

"I love you," I said, "since the moment your lips kissed my cheek."

"Krillin," she said placing her hand on my cheek, "it's not your fault Goku died. You are worthy, and I want to prove it to you."

18 leaned forward and pressed her soft lips against mine ever so softly. I felt my blood rushing to my cheeks and tears gushing out of my eyes. We parted to look into each other's eyes before our lips met again. Then she pushed me softly against the bed and straddled me. Her lips never left mine and her hands started roaming across my bare chest. No further words needed to be said. It was just me and her, she was my salvation.

We parted so that 18 could take off her shirt and bra. I looked at her body admiringly, she looked like a Goddess in the little that shone in through the window. Those scars on her shoulder and chest only brought tears to my eyes and I could tell she wanted to hide them. I sat up slowly and planted a soft kiss on the scar on her chest. "You're beautiful," I said looking into her eyes. I saw a blush rise to her cheeks and softly planted a kiss on her breast. Her breath started to pick up as I ran my tongue over her nipple softly. Her breaths turned into soft gasps when I started to suckle on it.

I felt her hands roaming around my back and then lowering down my front. I felt her hand go into my pants and grab my hardness. I let out a groan when I felt her slim fingers grip my shaft and give a pump.

Then she pushed me back against the bed and stood up. Slowly she started unbuckling her jeans and pulling them down. I watched her as if in a trance and started pulling down my own pants. When completely nude she lied down next to me and looked at me expectantly. I reacted quickly, getting on top of her and positioning myself at her entrance.

She gripped my shoulders tightly as I softly but firmly thrust my entire length into her. She let out a stifled moan dug her nails into my shoulders. I waited for a moment before thrusting in and out of her slowly. Her moans started to bounce off the walls of the dark room and she started to chant my name and ask for more.

I gave her what she wanted picking up my pace, slamming into her faster and harder. "Krillin!" she moaned arching her back and wrapping her arms around my neck. I rested my head in the crook of her neck and bit into it. She let out a small scream and wrapped her legs around me waist. "Krillin," she panted, "I'm gonna…" That was the last thing she said before a scream ripped through her chest and her body started to shake.

I felt her muscles tightening around my member and let out a loud groan of my own as my seamen poured out into her. Then we collapsed together, locked in a warm embrace. She was mine and I was hers. Even if this was a one night stand for her, it was my salvation. I gave her my heart and soul and I felt her give me hers.

"I love you, Krillin," she said lying my sweaty bald head on her sweaty chest.

"I love you too, 18."

That was all I really needed. Love.