A new story. I'm kinda lazy to update Outlaw right now. So, I wrote this. Its Alex/Mitchie friendship that'll eventually turn into something more. This whole story is in Alex's POV unless stated otherwise. Enjoy!
It gets harder everyday. I'm surprised I even managed to survive so far. I'm surprised I haven't beat the crap out of him yet. One day, I know I'll lose it. And if I'm not careful, I'd end up sending him to the hospital. Just for stealing my girl. Okay, she isn't technically my girl. She was never my girl actually. But I met her first, and I loved her first.
Even though she doesn't feel the same, I still couldn't help my feelings for her. She's beautiful, funny, adorable, talented, smart and sexy. She's perfect. Everyone loves her. But no one can ever be with her. Not with Shane alive.
Oh, and has she fallen. She is so hopelessly in love with him just like I was in love with her. But I'm just happy she's happy. And if Shane makes her happy then I guess I'm totally fine with them. With Smitchie, as Shane likes to call themselves. I just wish they wouldn't act all couply every second and make out in front of me all the time. To me, its disgusting and I have to stop myself from gagging. But I'm still happy for her. Of course I will never be truly happy. Not until she could be mine. Not till she could love me back.
I don't get what she sees in him though. Good looks, humor and talent? I got them too. Sure, I'm not such a great singer and my voice doesn't fit perfectly with hers the way Shane's does but I'm still talented. Even though I know Shane plays them better, I can play the drums and a little bit of piano. I can do the cartwheel and I'm pretty sure I hold the record for most hot dogs eaten in 8 minutes, women's category.
I hate that Shane's the perfect boyfriend. He was always sweet, caring, understanding and just so romantic all the time. It was frustrating. I couldn't quite convince myself that I'd be a better girlfriend than he is a boyfriend. He was just too perfect. I could never compare to him. I do hate him for being with Mitchie, that's true. But I can never find a reason for Mitchie to dump him. I searched and I searched hard but I couldn't. But I still hate him.
Mitchie knows I don't like Shane. She just doesn't know why. I wish I could tell her. I've tried to countless times. But of course, I'm too much of a coward to do it. I could force my feelings aside just enough to realise that she is my best friend and I wouldn't want to lose our friendship. It is a friendship too long and too precious. So I end up pulling off some excuse like how she spends more of her time with Shane than me.
It wasn't exactly a lie. She has been spending more time with Shane and less time with me. But we used to hang out 24/7 and giving a few hours to her boyfriend didn't change the fact that we would always spend too much time together. We have the same job, the same shift and we live together. We couldn't help but spend every waking moment together. In fact, we even use to sleep together on the same bed. Used to. Now, she shares her bed with Shane.
She wants to fix it. I can tell she was making more effort in trying to spend more time with me. She tries her best to juggle between Shane time and Alex time. She's starting to turn him down whenever she thinks I was feeling neglected and lonely. She even invites me whenever they want to watch a movie or play games or something. I really wish she wouldn't. I start feeling a little third-wheelish and uncomfortable but above all, I feel jealous. Jealous that Shane gets to hold her. Jealous that Shane gets to kiss her. Jealous that Shane gets her.
I'll just keep trying to accept this. Accept Smitchie and accept that I will never be with her if I never want to lose her. I know I couldn't lose her.
So maybe it's for the best.
Review please and tell me whatcha think.