I know you're my sire and this test will prove it! OR The Mystery of Timber's mate!
Goddess of Passion
I got the idea while reading one of Red Witch's stories and as I had been sick and thus watching daytime TV this idea got into my head and refused to leave! Enjoy!
GI JOE belongs to Hasbro Maury belongs to uh...Maury...I guess? (Husband looks up) Nono Maury belongs to Connie Chung!
Right...Enjoy!
Shipwreck flips through the tv channels "junk, junk, junk, seen it, junk, crap, junk ohh hey guys its Maury!"
"Wait? They're finally showing Timber's story?" Cover Girl asks.
"I guess so." Lady Jaye shrugs as the episode name appears "I KNOW you're my sire and this test will prove it!"
"We already know how it turns out though." Flint objects.
"Shhh!" Lady Jaye hushes him as Maury comes out.
"Hi welcome to the show. Lets meet our first guests this is Timber her handler Snake Eyes and his translator Jinx. I'd like to welcome you all to the show."
The black masked ninja leads the unleashed wolf on stage. Jinx follows. She waves to the audience.
"Hello Ms. Jinx welcome to the show...Er are you translating for Timber as well?"
"No Maury... When Timber chooses to comment, there's no need for translation."
"Alright." He kneels so Timber you're here to find which of two dogs are the father of your four beautiful puppies?"
She lifts her head in a canine grin.
"Alright well do we have a picture of the puppies?" He asks his producer
The camera shows four rambunctious pups in the green room frolicking with each other.
"Well they are precious are they named?" Maury asks as the audience awws over the puppies tugging at each others ears
Jinx nods. 'Yes. Sai, Katana, Daikyu, and Yumi."
"Timber Did you sleep with both of the possible sires?" He asks carefully holding the mike to her.
She looks at him with a satisfied grin.
"Ms. Jinx?" Maury asks
"We just can't be certain." Jinx admits. "You see... You'll notice that neither Timber nor the dogs in question are on leashes...?"
"Yes I have noticed that alright well lets see what Timber and Snake Eyes has to say about the Puppies." He turns to the video taken at the Pit
Snake Eyes sits in front of the camera holding Timber on his lap. He signs. Off screen Jinx translates. "Hello Maury. Look... There are only two other Canines here at Delta Red. It does not take a genius to realize that it's either one or the other."
"Alright well lets bring out possible father number 1 Junk Yard and his Handler Mutt come on out!"
The audience applauds as Junk trots out ahead of Mutt. Mutt waves to the crowd as Junkyard goes to Timber and licks her.
Timber licks him back Maury smiles "So Mutt sit tell me how Junk Yard feels about possibly being the Daddy?"
"Oh! He's clearly excited ya know. I'm not yet convinced he IS the father because there is still another dog to be tested but if Junkyard fathered those puppies... Well then he's ready to step up and be a father."
Maury holds the mike to Junkyard "Well Junk Yard do you think your the Daddy?"
He barks loud wagging his tail.
"Alright well lets bring out the second possible father Order and his handler Law!" Maury mumbles under his breathe "...Who comes up with these names..."
Lady Jaye snorts "Oh Yeah Maury is such a GREAT name!"
"He's just jealous because one of those dogs did something he hasn't been able to do in how many years?" Cover Girl smirks.
Lady Jaye grins "I suppose so!"
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On screen, Order meekly follows Law on stage, head hung low.
"Welcome to the show Law is Order feeling alright?"
"Thanks Maury.. Well Order just tends to be a bit timid around those two. Ya know?"
"No can you explain?"
"Order isn't quite as old as Timber or Junkyard so it's natural that he sees those two as ranking him. In Dog society he's what you might call a Beta. He can run with the big dogs. He can lead like an Alpha in their absence, but when they're round he knows he gotta show them respect."
"Well Order lets see your video!" He turns to the screen
On screen Law scratches Order's ear. "Maury... It ain't like I don't understand where Snake Eyes is coming from here but I gotta tell you ain't no way that Order is the father of Timber's pups man. I'm a hundred an twenty percent certain of it."
"Order do you think you are the father?"
Order droops his head and barks.
"Alright well Timber any final thoughts?"
Timber nuzzles Junkyard as an associate producer whispers a question in Maury's ear.
"...It er seems the lab which did the paternity test was destroyed."
"Correct Maury. We almost had the results but a 500 pound laser guided bomb doesn't leave much when it hits a medical lab."
Maury blinks "...Right...Well the results are in." He reaches for the envelope
Snake Eyes strokes Timber's fur.
"In the case of 3 week old puppies Order ...You are NOT the father."
Law ruffles Order's fur. "Justice amigo! Full vindication!"
"Woof!"
"When it comes to three week old puppies Junk Yard? You ARE the father!"
Mutt shrugs as Junkyard licks Timber. "Well Junkyard is gonna be a good poppa... But It looks like I need to go back and reread the instructions on that box of condoms for ol' Junk."
Junkyard rolls his eyes as the four puppies are brought out
The pups jump all over Timber. Katana looks at Junkyard and sniffs him.
He bats at her with a woof.
She leaps on him happily.
Maury smiles "Well that's it for today's show tomorrow Insane Sailors and the Parrots who love them!"
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Everyone looks at Shipwreck. "Hey... It wasn't MY idea!"
Polly nuzzles him "Give me loves! Hot Lips Awk!"
"Beat it you crazy bird!" Shipwreck grabs the remote. "What's on Springer?"
End
There you go Red Witch the paternity of Timber's puppies is solved! Hope you all enjoyed!