Lone Wolf
By: Yamato Matt Ishida
AN: This is my very first, never done, Digimon fan-fic. I've never written a Digimon fan-fic in my life and might as well start, y'know? This is a Matt/Mimi fic, with a dark twist to it. Well...enough of me blabbing. Lets get on with the show!!! Uh...in this case, the fic. ^_^ Written in Matt's POV, but sometimes switches to other characters, like Sora or Tai.
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This is the only way...the only way out...I hope...hope that T.K. will forgive me...
I ran my finger against the blade and saw the small drops of crimson red blood run down my finger. With a small smile of satisfaction, I lined the blade's sharp tip to my elbow and slowly applied pressure to it. The emotional pain seeped away as the blood ran down my arm and physical pain set in. As the blade went even deeper, I thought that it might strike a bone, so I stopped. Just then, Sora walked up to me.
"Matt? Matt what are y-" she stopped in mid-sentence.
She saw the blood dripping down my arm to the floor. She went pale as she grabbed my arm but I wrenched free of her grip.
"What are you doing here?!" I shouted.
"I-I just came lookin' for you because you were gone..." she stammered.
"Go away! GO AWAY!!!!" I screamed.
Sora couldn't. She couldn't leave him like this. Not when he was dying...killing himself. It was something that she would never do. Matt was on his knees, and heard another set of footsteps.
Shit. That's Mimi. Oh no.... I thought.
I heard a silent gasp as she too saw the evidence.
"Matt!" she shouted.
Startled at the loudness of her voice, I dropped the knife and blood came pouring out. I didn't care. I stumbled for the knife but landed hard on the forest ground. Mimi and Sora grabbed my arms and sat me up. Tears ran down my face as my blazing blue-gray eyes stared at them hard. Mimi's gloves had blood all over them but at that moment, it was the last thing on her mind. Now all three of us were crying.
"Why Matt? Why?" asked Mimi.
I gave no answer. How could I, when I didn't know the answer myself? I sat there, thinking things over and seeing just how much pain was around me. By now, everyone including T.K. was around me. It hurt them to see me so upset...so hurt. It hurt T.K and Mimi the most, but I never realized that.
"Explain Matt." said Tai.
"I don't have to explain anything. It's all so damn evident." I spat coldly.
Tai gave a sympathetic look to me. To Tai, I was a guy who was cool, athletic kid he's known since he was in grade 3, and yet, nobody had even tried to understand me. Tai noticed that I had tried to open up to them but they hadn't seen it. Tai felt guilty.
"Listen Matt, I'm sorry. I know you tried to open up to us." said Tai.
"But that was never good enough, was it?! I TRIED HARD! AND ALL YOU DID WAS PUSH ME AWAY!" I shouted.
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I was too blind to see that you tried." said Tai quietly.
"Well...at least I know who doesn't appreciate me. Everyone." I said bitterly.
"We care Matt. And we appreciate you. Believe me. We all do." said Sora.
Mimi couldn't stand all this. She sank to the ground and started to cry. The blood was already gone from her gloves but it felt as the blood was a fire, burning her. Everyone stopped to see Mimi crying. It hurt them to see their friends hurt, but it hurt me the most. I loved her. I couldn't hurt her. Not like this. I stood up and walked over to Mimi. I sat down beside her and put my arm around her.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I-It's just that...I've never opened up to anyone before." I said quietly.
I flashed a smile. A rare smile that had never been seen on a face like mine. It was a rare moment, a rare smile, a time when the world would stop just to see this. This moment of truth, peril and confession. I hung my head and slumped against the tree. My story began.
When I was only 6 and T.K. was 4, my parents began to fight. A lot. I would hear them yell every night and T.K. would start crying because of the noise. I would get up and put my hands over his ears so he wouldn't have to hear them yelling. I wanted to put my hands over my ears to block out the yelling. Until they stopped yelling, I sat on T.K.'s bed and made sure that he went to sleep before I did. When they finally stopped, my dad would go to sleep and leave my mom crying.
"Matt...that was you who always blocked out the sounds?" asked T.K.
"Yeah Takeru. That was me." I replied softly.
It hurt so much to hear them fight. Always. Everyday. Sometimes it would be about me, which was a lot of the time. I was a rebel; I always fought and did horribly in Math, but I was always good in Music and English. It was always Yamato did this and Yamato did that. I hated it. But when my dad finally left, I was glad but also angry. That he would just leave my mom like that.
Everyone was silent and the only thing they could hear was the fire crackling and the soft snoring of their digimon friends. Agumon was curled around the fire and so was Gabumon, Tentomon, Palmon, Biyomon, Gatomon, Patamon and Gomamon were all tuckered out. Mimi shivered as she inched closer to the fire.
I got the harmonica from my mom. She said that it was dad's and he wanted me to have it because I looked like him. I resented that remark. I was nothing like dad. I was much more than him. I may look like him, but that would never leave a mark on me. So, I sat up every night, trying to play the harmonica. Bit by bit, I got the notes down. Then one night, I heard my mom crying. It hurt me to hear the sobbing coming from the next room. So, I quietly went out to the patio and looked up at the stars and played. I don't know what came over me, but I just started to play. Like as if I've played all my life. And when I stopped playing and started to play again, it felt natural. It was a natural talent inherited from my dad.
"That's the only thing good about him that he gave to me besides the harmonica." I said.
Then I continued with the story.
So, every night I would play the harmonica. On the roof, at school, wherever I felt like. That's why I always carry the harmonica. Then, I came to summer camp with you guys.
"You know the rest." I said.
Everyone was silent. Sora was resting on Tai's shoulder and Mimi was sleeping beside me. Tai gently shook Sora awake and whispered something into her ear. Her eyes widened and she gave him a big hug, and whispered something back. I could barely make it out.
"...I love you too Tai."
I glanced at Mimi, who was softly snoring. Izzy looked shocked and Joe was trying to look sympathetic but was fear-stricken. I then stood up, and weakly walked away. I had to find myself. It was hard not knowing who I was. It hurt me to see all my friends so happy, but out of them all, I was the outsider. I was the rebel, the outcast. The lone wolf. The hard, steely blue-gray eyes stared at the moon. Wishing that I was like the others; happy and knowing who I was.
"Matt...?" said a soft, sleepy voice.
I turned around to find Mimi there.
"Mimi? What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I saw you walking, so I thought I'd follow you." replied Mimi.
I saw the concerned look on her face and Mimi saw the soft, sensitive, introspective side of me shine through. It was all in my eyes. The unseen persona of Matt; Yamato Ishida. I never knew a person who could see into my soul; into my inner most feelings and personality. It was a feeling that I couldn't shake off. I stumbled back but a tree caught my fall. Mimi approached me carefully and put a hand on my shoulder.
"You shouldn't be walking around. Come on." said Mimi.
Reluctantly, I followed her back to the campsite and dragged my sleeping bag near the fire and slid into it. A feeling of peacefulness and content came over me as I watched T.K., sleeping. He looked so innocent and pure. He didn't deserve a life like mine. T.K. deserved better. I wished I could give him a better life, one without the trials and mistakes that I had made which left an everlasting mark.
The lone wolf always walks on edge...
A wry smile crept on my face as I looked up at the night sky. It was a night that would lead to a new day, a day when I knew that my friends would be there for me. And as my gaze fell onto the sleeping form of Mimi, I saw just how beautiful she was.
The next morning, I saw Tai, Sora and the others already up. Even T.K. was up before me. Shaking off the previous night's feelings and remembrances, I trotted down to the river and was just about to step in, when I heard Mimi calling my name. So, I ran back up the hill and reached her.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Matt, I want to tell you something." said Mimi quietly.
I leaned against a tree, to gain my balance and locked my blue-gray eyes with her brown eyes. She looked at me for a second and averted her eyes.
"Matt....I'm in love with you. I love you Matt." she whispered.
The words reeled me back. She felt the same way as I did about her, and it was a huge weight lifted off my chest.
"I love you too Mimi." I replied quietly.
As I pulled her into my arms, I felt her shoulders shudder. She was crying. As she cried into my shoulder, I thanked God for this moment. The moment of truth and confession had past, but a lingering feeling told me that tragedy would strike any eight of us with its icy, dead touch. I stuck my index finger under her chin, lifted her head and kissed her on the lips. Surprisingly, she kissed back. When we broke the kiss, she was breathless and her eyes were half closed. I felt incredibly good.
"Oh Matt..." she sighed.
"Later. Right now, I'm going to go take a bath." I said.
I kissed her on the lips quickly as I trotted down the hill again and stepped into the water, the semi-warm lake water lapping gently against my back and chest. It felt good to feel something gentle against me. Other than the fiery embrace of Mimi's, this water felt good. After about half hour later, I got out and got dressed. By the time my Timberland boots had made a perfect mark on the floor, I was looking up at the sky and finally realizing, that life can be good. When he looked up, he saw Mimi's beautiful, smiling face coming towards him. I gave a smile as she ran into my arms and I hugged her tight.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"For what?" she asked.
"For saving me." I reply.
-The End