futility
A Shingeki no Kyojin drabble
by mew-tsubaki
Note: The Shingeki no Kyojin characters belong to Isayama Hajime-sensei, not to me. Ah, my first SnK fic… ;-; Read, review, and enjoy!
- ^-^3
The words tingled on her lips.
Finally, they'd won a battle.
As Rico raised her arm and shot the green canister into the air, she felt the hot tears run down her face. She felt her mouth pulling up at the corners. She was crying happy tears. She was smiling.
But while her body registered the happy moment, her psyche was screaming in anguish.
Why hadn't Ian listened? Why had he insisted that they carry out the mission?
She had believed in him, but Ian had stumbled under the weight of leadership. He had tried to be like Pixis, but he wasn't Pixis. He…he was Ian.
…no. He wasn't Ian anymore. He was now a Titan's meal.
Rico couldn't get the picture out of her head, seeing Ian pulling a comrade out of the way and being shoved into the Titan's gaping maw in the other's place.
No, no, no, she couldn't get it out of her brain.
So she tried as best she could to think of the good memories.
Them as cadets, training and chuckling at the foolhardy ones like Mitabi—not Ian as a mangled corpse.
Her and Ian acting like they owned the training grounds, him teasing her about being the teacher's pet—not Ian's horrified expression as he gushed blood from one too many places.
Goody-goody Ian sneaking her out the night before graduation so they could watch the stars before Mitabi caught them and threatened to tell before they threw the same threat back at him—not Ian reaching for her as he fell to bits and pieces.
A murmur—not a scream.
A kiss—not a gasp of blood.
A touch—not the distance between them that had guaranteed she wouldn't have saved him in time.
Yet, despite the good memories, his violent death kept returning to the forefront of her mind, like the bile she kept trying to force back down her throat.
Rico stood and swiped at her eyes. Ackerman needed help with Yeager, after all—and that was Ian's command.
She'd just have to mourn him after she carried out his final wish.
- ^-^3
Honestly didn't think I'd write for SnK yet, but yeah. I actually quite like Rico and I loved Ian, though we knew him for only so long… Argh, I need to watch this show faster to figure out everyone's fates, yeesh. 0.0 The close-up in ep13 when Rico says that they didn't die in vain… I so read into that as, "Ian didn't die in vain." Her expression was so pained… SnK is not for the weak of heart, huh?
Thanks for reading, and please do review!
-mew-tsubaki ;_;