Disclaimer: Me, do not own RK, their plushie, nor any onmitsu to bid around. BUT. Me, can play with a bunch of certain ninja's names and their poor fates, in a rambling crazy word game.

AN #1: Started with a gulp. Foreign language analog a swimming lesson for me. Scary in the first, enjoyable when get accustomed to, but even if finally the skill reach an Olympic athlete's level, in the end still I ain't a fish. And as I despise the routine of declaring my self as a very amateur non native speaker (of English), I'm warning you anyway.

A P a u s e d M a t t e r

Misao's a virgin.

She was, before that fateful night after her wedding, and those more fateful fateful nights after that one. Or days. No need exclamation nor publication like what she did around Kyoto for the okashira matter, everybody knew that. And she was damn proud of it. Cause she also knew that was true. She was sure.

Wait, sure?

Sounds like there was a reason to be not. There WAS?

Wow. That question alone could cost a couple of bloody screams from Okon and Omasu, you know. And a pair of dropped jaws, crimson blushed from hairs to toes sights from Shirojo and Kurojo. Also some incenses and a portrait. What? That was a promising trigger for the poor old, and perverted, Okina's heart attack, I ensure you. So, let us be very afraid of what the answer could cost.

Hmm? We missed someone else here, you said? Huh? Oh. OH. Of course, the other occupant of Aoiya. That certain occupant. But why he would care anyway, it's not like he was the one who married her or something.

Wack, HELP! Okay. Only a joke, readers. A funny-supposed-to-be joke. Just put those whatever creepy tools on your hands, down. Fine, he was the one who married her. After those uncountable painful stories, that's it. You can check them on FF.net if you want. I repeat, in complete sentence, Shinomori Aoshi was the man who married Makimachi Misao and was responsible for the increasing of Shinomoris in Aoiya and was responsible too for the recently perpetual odd noises in the said restaurant which would be very improper for me to describe in detail what kind of noises were those. But if the mighty readers insist.......... Nah, no.

Not yet.

Soo, how would Aoshi react anyway? He wouldn't be mad. He WOULDN'T?! No, this ain't an angst fic which consists of those kind of tricks, businesses, promises, or even lost-on-a-bet-with-Sano's stories behind marriage. He married her because simply he loved her. But he just wouldn't be mad. He would be embarrassed.

Now let's get into the real story.

It was all began with a cursed question from, surprisingly, Kurojo. "When did you become a man for the first time, Shiro?"

Kurojo's partner of conversation, blinked. He paused from restoring pieces of radish for tomorrow's pickle. 'Become a man?' Confused, Shiro funnily repeated the phrase inside his head. He shrugged nonchalantly. "What do you mean?"

But then Shiro freeze. He suddenly knew what Kuro meant. "Kuro, you.... "

"No, wait! I know, I, that..... that's very, very cheap and not wise... t,thought, consider those two things as the same way, but... " stammering on his explanation, Kuro's reddened face mirrored Shiro's. It's so unbelievably cute fact that those two tough onmitsu guys were the members of 'Oniwabanshuu's Most Blushing Expert Triple' Lead by Misao, sure. Still with shaking his head in embarrassment, Kuro added in a low voice, "But I don't know how to manage in not-so-vulgar words to spill it"

A pregnant silence hung in the air. Shiro was fidgeting. He failed to fit a cover a top the big wooden pickle's bucket. "Well...... " he peeped a glance.

"Well.... ?"Kuro peeped back.

SMAACK. "WellImstillachildthen!" Between noisy sound of the round wooden bucket's cover smacked down a little harder than it was needed there was Shiro's answer. In a short of Misao's way when Aoshi demanded an answer, which's she madly wanted to lie about but just couldn't do it. Very challenging to understood for common people. But being a long long time buddy of Shirojo, Kuro comprehended it well, every single syllable.

"So you're still.....?"

"So what??!"

"Hey, chill down!" Kuro swept away a white towel threw on to his face. He patted his best friend's shoulder. "It's okay. Really. I envy you."

Before the younger man voiced his surprise, Kuro smiled. But the smile didn't reach his eyes. 'So he's regretting something that already done in the past' , thoughtfully Shiro studied his friend's demeanor. He was expecting some teases, or even worst, a blackmail which involved spilling the news to Okon and Omasu, The Infamous Entertainer Twin on Other People's Expenses. But the bitterness in Kurojo's voice was far from any tease.

"When we have a hope on the ones we love, isn't it so natural and fair that we should be able to return that hope too?"

Shiro remained silent.

"I know she doesn't inquire that, Shiro."

'But she said she's been keep it along for the one with the right to it, and always will', the words replayed inside Shiro when he recalled their other 'chit-chat' in more cheerful mood, about how pride was Kuro of her fiancee.

For a moment, the evening was filled only with the sounds of summer's crickets.

Then we could see a scene where two big guys with appearances of warriors but costumes of the best cooks in Meiji Era, were standing in a middle of wide traditional kitchen. One of them tried to comfort the other, in a rather unique way. Which was in Shiro's art of comforting sad people, that meant offering them a big bowl of food you made with all of your heart. So then, Kuro must endured a dinner of extra large portion of radish pickle and extra large smile plestered on his rather spiky haired best pal's face. He didn't despise pickle, tough. He just decided, next time he told Shiro another sad story, he'd make sure that the menu is yakiniku.

We know Aoiya was a big traditional Japanese building. It was designed in secretly to fit it's function as one of Oniwabanshuu's main base camp. The fences, the gardens, the walls which's nobody of non-member knows that actually they're made in some layers with certain purposes, also including the famous ninja's style of secret basement even the one under the kitchen's floor was also well hiden, the one which Shiro had special affection on it, so no one of average people would realize that actually they're walking above Oniwabanshuu's Giant Pickle and Food Storage, and so many rooms or places to hide but were disguised under an innocent restaurant.

The roofs were also counted. There were many secluded corners among the Aoiya's roofs. Including the kitchen's roof. And when two of the best Oniwabanshuu chose to hide among them, say, the old and the new okashiras on evening date, no one could detect their presences. Neither could their own members.

Normally, that would be a good thing for the Shinomoris. But on that particular night, their sneaking activity just became a boomerang for themselves.

TBC (if it 's worth it :p)

AN #2: See, I could choose to wail apologies for ....... gee, many things, but that would be a big wasting on your precious time. Eep, already did. Riight. Anyway, please use the rest to visit the-I-know-that-you-know box!

(a petite bundle is clapping her hands in a corner. smoke's billowing.) make them review......... make them rev........... make them............. make th..... make..... mmwah...... #$%&'=