Draco started when he heard the door to his room creak open, and quickly tried to shove his notes away before anyone saw. His hands shook as papers crumpled onto one another and wouldn't go away fast enough, wanting to shout in frustration and his haste only making the mess worse. He froze when a gentle hand touched his shoulder.
"Burning the midnight oil again?" Draco's mother questioned, the disappointment evident in her voice. Draco looked up to see her standing there, hair loose and wearing her silk nightdress.
"I'm sorry, Mother," Draco said quickly. "I was just reading."
Narcissa raised one eyebrow and in a flat voice, said "I'm sure you were. What were you reading?"
"Er…" Draco quickly looked around his desk but no convenient book sat there. He deflated, shoulders sagging. "I'm sorry, Mother," he said again.
Narcissa sighed and placed herself on Draco's bed, delicately arranging her nightdress around her. She took in the red rimmed eyes and unkempt hair of her son."I know perfectly well you were studying again," she said.
Draco kept his eyes to the ground, unwilling to look at his mother. He really did not want to be interrogated right now. His eyes were beginning to slip shut and he just wanted to read through his notes one more time. He couldn't quite remember the side effects of myrtle essence and had wanted to check.
"I was just checking something," said Draco, the excuse sounding weak to his ears. He knew he should be asleep, but he couldn't, he just could not get to sleep.
"You went to bed two hours ago," said Narcissa. "You know this, I know you do. You'll do fine."
"Thanks," said Draco, his voice quiet.
"You will," Narcissa repeated. "Don't worry, and try and get some rest, alright?"
Draco nodded. "I've tried to," he said, "I just keep of something else and then I can't sleep because I think I'll forget something and I'll fail the exam." His eyes were dry but he felt as though he should be crying, but he wasn't sure if was because he was so tired or out of stress.
He knew his mother was right. He did know the material, he'd studied hard for five years. But this was the final hurdle. Tomorrow, he would sit his final exam to become a healer. He wanted this, so much. He wanted to prove, to himself as much as anyone else, that he was more than the fading dark mark on his arm. He had come close to tears when the dark mark had begun to fade, relieved to have evidence that it really might be over. But there was still a faint outline that would always be there as a constant reminder of his past crimes.
People like that didn't get nice, cushy jobs as healers. People like that got to rot in Azkaban. Draco knew that unless he could back himself up with results in his examinations that were nothing less than stellar, no one would hire him. He knew he was bitter. Seeing Potter and his friends being allowed into good jobs without any testing. Seeing muggleborns being hired when they had the barest of qualifications. Some would say that this was a taste of his own potions, but all Draco could feel was bitter.
He got up and dragged himself over to sit down next to his mother on his bed. On instinct, she wrapped her arms around him. Draco leaned into her embrace. It had been so long since he had been hugged, properly hugged, not the formal, stiff embraces his parents usually confined themselves to. He could feel his breath hitching and he had begun to cry without even realising he was.
"What if I don't pass?" he asked brokenly.
Narcissa's arms tightened around her. She didn't have to say anything, but Draco knew she feared for him. Feared that he would end up like his father, unable to go back to his job, but too proud to take one of a lower rank.
"You will be fine," she said, though Draco wasn't quite sure if she needed to tell him or herself, but there was a steel in her voice that comforted him. "If you don't pass, there's always next year," Narcissa said.
Draco nodded mutely. He could barely keep his eyes open now. But he couldn't make himself sleep. He knew eventually he would have to drift off, but now he was too worried that he'd forget something.
"You'll wake me up if I sleep in?" he asked.
Narcissa gave Draco a gentle kiss on the temple and said, "Of course, now - get into bed."
Draco slumped into the bed, he couldn't even bring himself to open his eyes now, and allowed his mother to arrange the sheets around him. "Sleep," she ordered. But Draco was already going through the treatment of dragon pox in his head and thinking what if he missed the exam? The exam was tomorrow, wasn't it? Maybe he should check - and make sure that he had the time correct. What if he slept in? What if, what if, what if.
Narcissa softened. "Oh Draco," she said, "my dear dragon. You've done so well. I know you will pass this exam and make me and your father proud."
She took one last look at her sleeping son. "Nox," she whispered, and the lamp flickered out. Narcissa hoped with all her heart her Draco would make something of himself. She knew he was trying, he really was, and she supported him as much as she could, but she could never completely ease his worries. She wished she could, so much.
"Good night," she whispered.
Written as part of the April Event: Decorating Month
Prompts:
Night Wizard
(Time) Evening/Night (Phrase)'burning the midnight oil' - Bonus (Trait) Insomniac (Spell) Nox or Lumos (Scenario) Being caught (or almost caught) out of bed after hours.