Collection of Thoughts:
Peregrin 'Pippin' Took
Merry-Go-Round
By: Kuroi Neko-kun
Disclaimer: I do not own 'Lord of the Rings' or have any association with it. I just write these stories. No matter how weird they are.
Warnings: This is SLASH implied. If you do not enjoy reading about guy/guy relationships then do not read this fic. But if you wish to satisfy your curiosity, you've been aptly WARNED.
Spoilers: Mainly from the 'Return of the King'. But there are some from the 'Fellowship of the Ring' and 'Two Towers'.
A/N: This is a part of my new 'series' called 'Collection of Thoughts'. The thoughts of characters from different fandoms are placed in a collection. This is my very first and was inspired after sitting through nine hours straight watching The Lord of the Rings. It was worth it, believe me.
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Pippin's POV
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If happiness could be bound within one word, mine would be Merry. As in the hobbit that had been my companion for about all my life. The two troublemakers of the Shire, Merry and Pippin. Back home, we would be inseparable. Where there was Merry, Pippin was not far behind. Heck, Pippin was not far at all. Where would I be, you may ask? Where else but by his side. I'm happy to be there. For better or worse. When we joined the Fellowship with Frodo and Sam, when we were captured by the orcs, when we were under the service of Treebeard, I was always by his side. Of course, I was scared for my life dozens of times but the thought of being with him calmed me down a bit. I guess I'd be lost without a reassurance that Merry was by my side. Always. But that confounded day my insatiable curiosity got the better of me. I had to look at that ball. I just had to. Merry told me to put it back but I did not. Now, Sauron thought I have the Ring and I had to get out of Rohan. After that happened, I was dragged out by Gandalf. I was aghast that Merry would not be by my side this time. I was more in shock when he could not assure me that we would meet again. When he shook his head, telling me that he did not know what was going to happen, I could only stare at him, completely lost. I was scared that I would never see him again. There were a lot of things I wanted to say to him and a lot of things that I needed to know from him. And now, because of my own dumb actions, I was going to lose him? I could not bear the thought. As Shadowfax rode off, I could only shout his name, hoping for something. He had said nothing. As Gandalf and I rode towards Minas Tirith, I felt lost. I would do anything to be able to correct myself.
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There was so much going on. Sauron's troops were banging on the door that the few remaining soldiers were trying to hold off. I sat with Gandalf, who told me about death. I do not want to die before I've accomplished the one thing that my heart had set out to do ever since I stepped into Minas Tirith: see Merry again. And this time, I would not hold back my feelings. I'm certain this time that whatever I had felt over the years with him was real. My only hope was to see him and tell him that. I cannot die here.
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This is what is called fate. I did not expect to find Merry in the battlefield, under a Sauron warrior. I did not think about it then when I held him in my arms, praying he was not dead. Please, don't let him be…
"Merry," I mumbled, trying to wake him up," Merry, it's me. It's Pippin." His eyes opened then, looking straight at me. Oh, Merry… You don't know how much you've worried me.
"I knew you'd find me," he managed out. I was slightly flattered by that. He was expecting me to find him. Despite the tears, I smiled.
"Yes," I said, brushing through his hair. My heart ached as I saw how weak he was.
"Are you going to leave me?" Merry, you fool…
"No, I'm going to take care of you." As I reached out for a robe that was on the grounds and covered him with it, I swore never to leave his side again. I realized just how much he needed me as I needed him.
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Despite the tiredness, I could not sleep as I sat by Merry's bed. Gandalf had assured to me he was alright and all he needed was rest. He wanted me to sleep as well. I tried to but I wanted Merry to see me when he woke up. I touched his hand and smiled. I was glad to be able to see him again.
"You don't know how much I've missed you," I whispered, using my free hand to brush through his locks. I felt a grip on my other hand. I looked at it before turning to Merry's face. He was awake and now staring at me.
"I've missed you too, Took," he mumbled, smiling at him. I could only smile back. I wanted to tell him my feelings but my thoughts hindered them. What if he didn't take regard of my feelings at all? What if he just laughed at it? What if he hated me because of it? What would I do then? But could I leave this the way it is? If I did, then what will I do if I lost him? His hand touched my cheek, stopping me from all thought. "What's wrong with you, Pippin? You're suddenly quiet," he asked, concern filled his voice. I forced a smile.
"I just can't find the words to say, that's all," I mumbled, trying to convince him. His eyes told me that he did not believe me. His thumb brushed my cheek, comforting me greatly. With all the turmoil of war and my own mind, the comfort was inviting. I found myself leaning against Merry. He tugged me up to join him in bed. Taking the opportunity, I did. His arms draped around me.
"Remember I told you that we made a mistake of leaving the Shire, Pip?" I nodded, closing my eyes. I was enjoying the warmth that Merry had always radiated. "Maybe it wasn't after all." I sat up then, staring at him in confusion.
"What do you mean, Merry?" He smiled, cupping my cheek with his hand. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. I was wide-eyed for the moment but when my brain functioned again, I realized that this was the answer I was looking for. He looked at me, searching for a sign. I smiled before pressing my lips against his. It was soft at first but he started to push his tongue into my mouth. I pulled away, though reluctant, before looking at him. "Merry," I mumbled," tell me what this means…" Despite the fact that I knew what this meant, I still looked for the answer. I just wanted a reassurance.
"For years, Peregrin Took, I have been by your side. But now I know why," he said," I love you." I smiled, after hearing those words. I felt like crying in happiness.
"I love you too, Merry," I whispered before sliding into his arms. This had been what I wanted for a long time now. I finally got it. I rested my head on his chest as I felt him running his hand through my hair. His rising and falling chest was rocking my tired self to sleep. Content for the first time in ages, I fell into the realm of sleep in the arms of the hobbit that I loved.
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When I caught those flowers that Rosie threw during Sam and Rosie's wedding, I could not help but stare at it for the moment. I felt that everyone was staring at me. I decided to go along with it and teased the lady on my right with it. I stole a glance at Merry. His eyes twinkled as a mischievous smile was on his face. To us, this meant something, even if all of Shire would not understand this love. We both lived together now and no one thought stranger of it. After all, if they needed to look for the two who stole from Farmer Maggot, now they stayed in one place. When we returned home, I placed the flowers in a vase and stared at it. I felt Merry's arms wrap around my waist.
"Pretty, aren't they?" he whispered in my ear. I could not help but nod. But something was troubling me.
"Do you think it could happen, Merry?"
"What could happen, love?"
"Us. Marriage. Shire coming to understand our… love," I said. Merry just held me tighter. I believed that he was having the same thoughts.
"All I need to know is that you won't leave me," he whispered.
"You know I won't. My love for Meriadoc Brandybuck is real," I said. He relaxed his grip and made me turn to face him.
"Mine for you is real as well," he mumbled. I kissed him then. I could not resist it as much as he could to me. At least, I know that even there would be no marriage, at least there was the love. At least I know that.
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Fin… or not…
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