Author's Note: This short is written with the idea of how I picture Carly had Sarah Brown returned in the role as opposed to the casting directors hiring a llama. If you're a JB fan and expect a story where JB is Carly, then don't read this or any other story that I post starring Carly. Also, this is just a short peek into the mind of Carly Alcazar, as I see her. I normally write longer stories, but lately, I've been writing these shorter, quick peeks into characters and lives.

I am Carly's wasted life.

I am Carly's bad judgment.

I am Carly's hard head.

I am Carly's bad taste in men.

I am Carly's pathetic attempt at motherhood.

I am Carly's pathetic attempt at being Mrs. Lorenzo Alcazar.

I am Carly's mistreatment of Jason Morgan.

I am Carly's broken heart.

I am Carly's mended heart.

I am Carly's growing ulcer.

I am Carly's meltdown.

Never saw Fight Club, huh? Well, I saw it a few years ago and yeah, it's not exactly the way it went in the movie, but you get the point. Why be one thing when I'm so many? Why be a person when I could be the sum of her parts? Why am I even trying?

I went blonde again, and I cut it shorter. I thought, maybe, it would bring back some of the old me. It didnt' come out exactly the way it had been when I first came to town. Truthfully, I didn't want it to. That haircut was one big ball of ass. But, it was close enough. In fact, it was about the way it was when I first screwed up my life. So, I figured, if I went back to that point now, I could take the other road and not screw it up.

Except, I probably would.

I always screwed up. And Lorenzo could say that I didn't, and Jason could tell me that he'd fix it, but none of that changed the fact that I had screwed up. Lorenzo would probably divorce me for turning down his offer, but he had to understand. I didn't need him to make me respectable, to make me APPEAR respectable. I could do that all on my own. I can pose like a society girl with the prerequisite flower and doe eyes. I didn't need that from him. I didn't want that from him. I just wanted... him.

"New hair, new life, right? So, does old hair mean old life?"

In a way, but... Not really. Not old life as in drug AJ Quartermaine or marry Sonny Corinthos. Not old life as in break Jason Morgan's heart. Not old life as in Momma hatred. Not old life as in complete and utter dependency. Just... old life as in not quite so docile, and definitely not Mrs. Corinthos. This was my Caroline Benson hair. I can't even remember my Carly Corinthos hair.

"Old hair, try again?" Yeah, that made sense. Uh huh. And Lorenzo wasn't a hot South American drug kingpin. "Hair you've never seen. A Carly you've never seen. A Carly that you might not love as much as you think you do."

"I don't think that's possible, Carly."

"Oh, believe me, Lorenzo. It's possible. Just wait until you meet her."

"I'm sure I'll love her. She's you."

Yeah, he was a man in love. He was Jason for the new millenium. Not that I'd get rid of Jason, ever, because that would just be stupid. I was a lot of things, but I don't think I've ever been stupid. But... it couldn't hurt to have two of them. That just means I have double the rescue for double the trouble.

Yeah...

I am Carly's 1,023,546th makeover.