Chapter 1 - Heartbreaker
He was like the universe; full of secrets, hidden deep within the darkest places, his personality a black hole, its force being capable of sucking every part of life out of you in a few short seconds. Furious, still surrounded by billions of shining stars. Dark and beautiful, cold and mysterious. Yet, somewhere drowning in his great, big world.
That was Bellamy Blake. How he amazed her at times with ideas so cold, only coming from the desperation, frustration. These days were hard, everyone was aware of it, because any little challenge, which snuck into their already pressed life here on earth, made holding on to sensibility just a bit harder than it already was. Sometimes, when you can't find solution somewhere good, maybe it was a way of saying, how it shouldn't be found until things were controlled again. She had already told him, how much she was against hurting innocent Grounders like Lincoln, but he didn't budge easily:
"Clarke! We don't know, what they will do! Most of the time, you're so busy figuring out a 'peaceful' way to end this, but now I have realized that it won't work, no matter how much you want it to!"
"And how do you know that, huh?" Their minds were composed differently, that was indeed clear, which obviously made it hard to agree on how to run things.
Bellamy was frustrated: he had been, since the latest attack, where the Grounders killed nearly twenty people. You can do so much to safe the kind-hearted ones, then you suddenly realize that the majority of them are badly-natured.
"My idea is safer!" He shouted, his face just ten inches from hers, as if the intimidation would make her change her mind. It wouldn't, however something did click: "You're right… It is safer," Clarke tried to catch breath after yelling for a while.
Bellamy seemed to calm down a little bit, since he moved away from her, looking down at the ground like he always did after an argument. Suddenly, he flicked his eyes to hers, waiting for a continuation.
"But that doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do." Clarke let out, making Bellamy roll his eyes. He didn't say anything against it, though, which quickly told her, that he knew, she was right this time.
Clarke knew where his concern came from, but only because it was always about his little sister, Octavia's, safety. The Grounders nearly killed her ones, and if Clarke had figured him out (and she thought she almost had), then he was scared to lose her. She was his everything, and he had promised to protect her.
"Listen, Bellamy. I know how much you worry about Octavia, but if you haven't noticed, she's the only one of us, who've managed to find a kind-hearted Grounder-"
Bellamy snorted in disbelief: "Kind-hearted? You have got be kidding me, Clarke."
"I'm not." She insisted, while he kept his serious gaze at her.
"Good thing, I'm just as stubborn as you are," he continued.
"We'll see… Bellamy."
The camp was now constructed like a prison: everything specially designed to minimize the damage whenever Grounders would attack. There was a problem, though, because nothing good appeared to come without bringing extra negativity with it. You are really afraid to feel safe: Here there's no calm after the storm – It's just a storm, evoking another in one evil, ongoing pattern.
Miller, Bellamy and Finn had spent the passed 2 and a half-week on building a wall around the camp. Clarke knew exactly how hard it had been, since one week, she had to help them with finding big enough stones in the woods: that while also trying hard not to fall down Grounder traps, otherwise known as Pits. Life just spoke for itself here: never a dull moment, but also never a completely peaceful or relaxing moment. Clarke found it frustrating: no matter how much they tried to keep enemies out, there was always a reason to feel threatened by them anyway.
She sat near the lake, her favorite place, while watching the guys working on the wall, trying not to get in a fight. Since they were really different people, that had never been easy.
Bellamy had one hell of a temper if not to mention his smart-mouth, he tended to use, whenever he got a chance. However, Clarke couldn't miss the important fact of how smart, he normally was, in his own strange way of course.
Miller shared Bellamy's leadership abilities, which often lead to discussion about they were going to do even the smallest things, but then when it actually worked out, there was obviously potential decent partnership between the two.
Finn on the other side showed no interest in arguing or discussion unnecessary details, but had impatience when Miller and Bellamy tried to figure things out. It was like his kind-hearted nature stopped him from participating in the brain-part of the work, which it really shouldn't be.
To sum everything up: they weren't the best trio in any way.
"Clarke, could you give me a hand?" Clarke turned her face away from the piece of paper, she until then had sketched on, by the sound of Bellamy's clear voice. Miller and Finn were suddenly not to be seen anywhere, so she guessed that they probably just had gone inside their tents for a short break. You couldn't blame them, but Bellamy, stubborn as he was, had decided to continue on his own, which couldn't be healthy, and now he was in sort of trouble with a big stone only balancing on his palms; hands shaking slightly because of the weight, sweat drops slowly forming on his forehead.
She quickly got up to rush over and assist him in getting the big stone (actually weighing way more than she had estimated) on top of the so far 6 feet wall.
"Why don't you just take a break like the others? Besides in an hour, it will be dark." She pointed out, looking over her shoulder at the horizon over the lake, which was beautifully colored with orange, pink and yellow. Sunsets on earth were something she'd never get tired of looking at after spending so many years thinking of the sun as a ball of fire and danger. That's a great example how your view on things can be changed by looking at them from a different perspective. At first, Clarke thought, she had just one thing in mind while saying that, but then she looked at Bellamy again, who was still glaring at her slightly and she realized how it might've been something more.
"You're right." He admitted, grinning his teeth slightly, quite possibly through the slight pain of lifting so much weight for so long.
She nodded, keeping her eyes on his for a while, before they went their separate ways again.
Darkness slowly crept through, swallowing the last daylight, and even though most of the delinquents had taken time to relax inside their tents, Clarke noticed someone sitting by the campfire, looking at the last sparks die in the ashes. It shocked her that it was Finn, even though he enjoyed to be quiet once in a while, he'd usually spend evening hours doing "whatever the hell he wanted" with Raven. Sure, Clarke wasn't completely over the fact that he in fact broke her heart so easily. He had for sure shown her how little he could possibly care about her, but that didn't mean that she was the sort of person to do the same. She couldn't pretend: not anymore.
Therefore she decided to join him even though it was slowly getting colder outside, and the fire no longer provided heat.
"What's the matter?" Yes, maybe she would talk to him, however she couldn't make herself look at him while doing so.
"You don't care anyway." He replied, murmuring.
"That's not true. If my wish was to not care and be cold, I could just act they way that you've done the last days. Guess what, Finn? I just don't play that game. Now, spit it out." When he glared at her, it was hard not to stare back. She didn't give in to him, though.
He signed and it was easy to tell that he'd rather not say it: "I meant, what I said in the woods last week, Clarke. Being rejected was hard on me, especially because-"
She couldn't listen to his nonsense much more, so the best decision was to simply cut him off, before he really got started on more shit: "Stop it. If you wanted to be with, you wouldn't have made out with Raven in front of my eyes. You're terrible at getting hopes up. When you're telling me this, you're at the same time making me wonder, if you're going to use me as a pathetic band-aid just like Raven did with Bellamy, when they…" She suddenly became aware of that it wouldn't be smart to continue for a lot of reasons:
1) Finn probably didn't know that his ex-girlfriend had slept with his wall-building partner, and breaking the news to him, was going to do nothing good.
2) Maybe it would make Finn think that she and Bellamy had something going on, which made her jealous of Raven (even though this was clearly not the case)
"What with Raven and Bellamy?" His eyes suddenly turned darker, more envious than ever before.
"Nothing. If you don't mind, I will head back inside, a thing that you should also consider, since you have work to do tomorrow like the rest of us. Don't forget it." Okay, that was really a deeply terrible save, but what else was she supposed to do? Ruin everything with her smart-mouth again. Last time, it had led to Charlotte's suicide - a horrifying event - she hated going back to even for the shortest seconds. Every time it crossed her mind, she couldn't help herself from feeling sick with guilt and regret. Bellamy was right, when he shouted that: "she should've kept her mouth shut"
Better confusing him than to carry double that burden…
A/N: My first Bellarke fanfic! I could be more pleased with it, but lets face it: You can't always be completely happy with your work as a writer. I'd really love it if you'd mind leaving a review to give me a little push in the direction of finishing the story.
Oh, and by the way, if there's any spelling or grammatical mistakes in the story, please ignore them, since English is not my first language.