Fade to Gray
By: Phoenix Dayze
(Sephiroth/Zack)
PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own these characters. All names/worlds/etc herein are own by Squaresoft.
Sephiroth smiled. A dark-haired man slowly materialized before him, drawing closer through the fog. At last. The Lifestream hadn't wanted to let Sephiroth through, hadn't wanted to let him find the man who used to be his dearest friend, wanting him to suffer for the pain he had caused so many in the end of his life, pain that wasn't his fault. But he had persisted, and now, the heart-warming grin was growing more visible by the second. Zack…
Two hands reached out for him, strong arms encircling him as he accepted their offer, and Sephiroth let out a shuddering sigh as he relinquished everything that was left of who he was into Zack's embrace. Tears rose to mar the flawless green of his eyes as a familiar, cheeky voice echoed in his mind. Gee, Seph, did you miss me that badly? I'm honored.
Sephiroth nuzzled into Zack's neck, breathing deep of the scent that he'd longed for, earth and night breezes and cider, now overshadowed by a slight hint of smoky sorrow and regret. I'm sorry, Zackary. I never meant…
Don't be so hard on yourself, Seph. It wasn't your fault. I know what they did to you. And, I never blamed you, you know?
A phantom kiss pressed against the side of Sephiroth's hair, and he tightened his grip on the man's back. The intimate closeness was almost too much for Sephiroth to handle. He should have had this in life, should have been able to hold Zack… Thank you. Will you stay with me then?
Zack pulled back and stared deep into his eyes, and Sephiroth felt as though the man was reading his soul. Then, that sarcastic mouth was closing the distance between them, and as weak as it would make him seem, Sephiroth couldn't help closing his eyes as their lips finally touched.
It was hot and cold, hard and soft, and the maddening pressure was too much and never enough. Sephiroth moaned as Zack's tongue delved deep, tasting the silver offerings, pulling Sephiroth higher and fueling an already impossible bright desire. Hands pulled at his coat, and Sephiroth let them divest him of his uniform, wanting Zack to have all of him at last.
The mist-shrouded ground rose up beneath them as Zack guided him down, stretching out on top of him, their bodies touching in places that had never been shared. Sephiroth trembled. This was too much. He wanted this too much. Things never ended well when he actually cared…
As if on cue, a searing light flashed in the distance, and Sephiroth felt the Call, the deep, shredding pull of Jenova and the harsh, beautiful, awful merging of her Reunion. Zack's face grew blurry and further away, and Sephiroth could feel himself fading away from the Lifestream. No! Not again! Zack!
Sephiroth! Where are you going? Don't leave!
Zack! The world turned from white mist to gray skies and the soft, indistinct atmosphere edged into sharp, defined reality. The cold stone of the broken building was terribly solid beneath his feet, and he was staring up into too familiar blue eyes that were flooded with undisguised shock. Cloud?
Sephiroth heard himself speaking, felt himself moving. No! This wasn't right. He had no control. He was here, but Jenova owned his body, and he did as She instructed, acted on the homicidal urges She had bred in him. And he was fighting, clashing steel with a young blond he had hoped to never hurt again. Come on, Cloud. You can take me. Send me back.
He concentrated on Zack, the beautiful, wonderful man who was waiting for him, hoped that it would serve as a distraction, that somehow, he would be able to give Cloud the chance that he needed to strike him down again. And when an aching, golden agony ripped through him, Sephiroth smiled and let himself go.
The gray faded back into ivory mist, and a dark-haired man was waiting in the swirling fog. Sephiroth stretched out his hand, ready to take the man back into his arms.
Why did you do it? The words were cold, suspicious, and Sephiroth looked up into hard, violet eyes. How could you hurt him again? I thought that you had been controlled, that it wasn't you…but I was wrong. You're still the same monster you were when you died. Nothing's changed.
Tears pricked at Sephiroth's eyes, and he shook his head. Zack, you don't understand…
Understand what? That you'll leave me at a moment's notice, just disappear whenever She calls? That you'll keep hurting people? That you'll keep torturing Cloud until he's incapable of finding ground to stand on and finally ends it? What, Sephiroth?
Sephiroth didn't know what to say. He just stared at Zack, taking in the foreign emotions that glinted in his eyes. He swallowed. He had been so close, so painfully near to happiness, to love… Zack…
Don't, Seph. I can't stay here and watch you do this.
The mists rose up and began to envelope Zack's form. Wait! Zack! Don't go! Distance stretched and grew and eternity closed up the gaps in between. And Zack was gone. Zack! Sephiroth fell to his knees in the floating white under his feet. Tears finally found the courage to run and streamed to freedom down his pale cheeks. His last hope, his one chance—Zack—had abandoned him to the cold, lonely forever that he had unwillingly created for himself. He was fated to be controlled, to be empty, even in death. This was how they had made him. Sephiroth closed his eyes against the all-consuming knowledge of his future, and all around him, Sephiroth could here the Lifestream laughing…