Title: Goodbye, my dear
Author: Mika Kashii Haine
Band: Sadie, The Gazette
Pairing: Aki x Reita
Rating: PG13
Genre: Angst, romance
Chapters: One shot
Warning: Un-beta'ed
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone…
Summary: Just a second lost in thought.
Comment: Am I out of this slump? Have I found my way out of the pile of snow I've been buried beneath? Though it didn't turn out how I planned it. And I'm not quite sure what to think about it. Or what to think about this pairing actually. I've written it before, but.. I don't know. I love comments you know
It's a tearful goodbye. As I hug you tightly to my chest. Closer, so it'll be hard to breathe properly. Cause you're leaving. And this goodbye I have to burn on my brain. For I don't want to ever forget, the one good thing that has ever happened in my life.
I let go. Slide my arms as slowly as I can possibly do. The tears which I've always been unable to hold back when it is about you. I stand my ground. While my arms hang heavy by my sides. My head uncomfortably hangs low. With the gaze fixed on nothing at all.
For a minute. A little while. Just a second lost in thought. You stand there watching me. Your eyes piercing through my flesh, reading my soul as the open book I am for you. I don't want to hide myself from you.
But time hasn't stopped. And I am reminded of that as I hazily see your had grab the bag which you've stuffed with clothes smelling like you. Those little games you love to keep you occupied on restless moments. Even a book to read at night as you find problems falling asleep. Your belongings that you'll need for the time you'll leave me behind. Once again. You're leaving.
A hand on my shoulder. Lightly squeezing in your special, soothing way. Faintly you smile, but it's gone before I know it's there. Your hand is gone. And you move a little further from where I stand.
I try to tune you out. All your little sounds. What I hear is how the rain pouring from the sky harshly beats on the windows of this apartment. Soon to be an empty one. With a shell of man left to wander listless in. The drumming noise. Quickly I find the sounds of you leaving to be much better than the tactless rhythm of the rain. Concentrating. And I soon find myself listening to your slow breathing. Impressed by how I can tune in something like that. I search for other things.
Counting the steps you walk before I know you're faced with the door. Some rustling and I know you just put your jacket on. Some more muffled noise. I know the time has come. And you're leaving me. Like always.
"Ittekimasu.." Your voice chime. Clear and strong like only you can pull off on moments like these. While I can't stop the tears or choked sobbing long enough to say a short "bye".
The door closes after your usual heavy sigh of defeat as you're only getting a muted silence back. But it's unbearable. More than all the other times. More than it has ever been before. Breaking out of my silence. I let out sobs I've held back so long now. Turning around. I don't want this goodbye to be like the others. Step, step, step, step, step. It's quick and I reach the door, swings it open with force. I see your figure by the elevator. I see how you turn around in surprise. How you let go of all the things in you hands just to leap to my shivering body.
Clawing to you. Clinging to you, my lover. Baby, don't leave me. I want to say. But it's inevitable. Should I say it just this once? Voice my longing. Hope he'll understand I'm just so very lonely by each goodbye shared.
"Don't leave!" Bury my face into his neck. Loving how his rough hands are gently running through my soft, dark locks. Inside I can feel his smile erupting as my words leave my trembling lips. So I bite his neck. Hard enough to cause pain, but softly to not leave a mark.
"Hahahha, ouch, come on, you know I can't help it..." The arm snaked around my waist brings my body closer to his slender one.
"It's just another week... I'm coming back as soon as possible." His thumb stroke bewildered tears from my cheek. Lovingly, gently stroking it in his affectionate way. So I lean into the touch.
"You're busy too, right?! It's going to be fine. We've been apart much longer before..." His chuckle makes my eyes flutter open. Locking with his. I search his face as I try to answer back.
"I'll miss you... It's very.. tough to be apart, Reita. I don't really like this... loneliness. I want.. you to be here with me." Selfishly I speak my words. I know it can't be helped. I know you don't really want to ever leave. And be away for so long, so much, all the time. It can't be helped, right... Still, all I want is more and more, as we become deeper involved with each other.
"Hey
~~ I miss you too. I miss you all the time. But you know we can't help it. I will be back. So be a good boy and work hard while I'm gone." His hand leave my hair and trails gently down my spine. For a brief moment I'm hugged tightly before he let's me go. And again, it's all too short for my liking.
Wiping away the tears I sniff and look into your eyes. They're so bright and yet so dark. Full of life. And I don't need to hear much more because I can see it all. Just one glance and I know. One touch and I know. I'll feel all your love for me.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
And then he kisses me softly. Before we're forced back to the present time. Where he has to leave for a week and maybe more. Hopefully less. But I'll be here when he returns. Waiting and waiting. For him I'll be working very hard. Love him even more. And trust his words, that he will always be returning to my side.