Disclaimer: Don't own and never will.
AN: Ok, this idea has been kicking around limply in my head for a while now, so now I'm bringing it to the surface.
"Nah, Jimmy has periwinkle eyes...like a beautiful summer morning sky," the mercenary said poetically, before gasping in surprise. "Wait, that's not Jimmy! He's an imposter! Get him"
"Oh for the love of God! Seriously!?" Princess Anne exclaimed in exasperation. "Of ALL the things to notice, you noticed my EYES!?" she grabbed her long brown hair and tugged it briefly. "For God's sake man, I HAVE LONG BROWN HAIR!"
"Well…yeah…" started one of the mercenaries, but Princess Anne continued.
"And I KNOW that I'm not busty, but it's not like my breasts don't exist either," she continued, gesturing to her chest. "How the hell did you manage to miss seeing all of the OBVIOUS differences and yet MANAGE to spot my DIFFERENT COLOURED EYES!?"
Several of the men advancing on Princess Anne backed away. Facing dwellers was one thing, but an angry and yelling Princess Anne was something else entirely. Especially when she had a somewhat obvious point. A somewhat obvious and accurate point. It was actually embarrassing.
"Well Jimmy always was a bit odd," one of the men commented.
"Yeah, did you ever see him wearing that thong of his? Bloody uncomfortable if you ask me," another man said, before suddenly looking at his feet as several pairs of eyes turned to look at him.
"Oh and you would know this how exactly?" a third man asked in a surprisingly cultured voice, but there was a hint of a growl beneath it. Princess Anne watched with amusement and a smirk. It seemed that the mercenaries had managed to completely forget about her. Which was fine in her opinion.
"Here, you leave Freddie out of it! He was just making an observation!" another mercenary said, raising his sword. The mercenary camp split into two sides and Princess Anne slipped towards the gate.
"What, are you is boyfriend or something loser?" another mercenary sneered as the two sides of mercenaries approached one another.
"That's homophobic that! You ought to be ashamed of yourself, having such an attitude in this day and age!" one of the mercenaries shouted out. Princess Anne thumped the hilt of her sword over the head of the mercenary in the gatehouse and reached for the controls to open the gate.
"Now, now lads, let's not forget the real issue here-" another mercenary began, but he was interrupted by the mercenary who had spoken just before him.
"Yeah, that he's a homophobe!" he shouted angrily. "I draw a line at that!"
"Yeah, that's just not acceptable!" another mercenary shouted and the tension in the air increased. The two sides steadily approached one another and soon an all out brawl erupted in the middle of the camp. Princess Anne chuckled and pressed the button to open the gate. Then, without a backwards glance, she strolled on her way.