How did it come to this? This cruel twist of fate! I continue ask myself this. Minute by minute and day by day! I ask myself these questions, why did this happen to you? Why wasn't I there to stop it? What kind of god would have you suffer such a cruel fate? Why did you insist on taking the shot each time?
Why did you have to die?
All of these questions swim around my mind every moment of the day. They weigh down on my shoulders like I was holding the world over them. My heart aches at the memory and at the thought of you. Why did this have to happen? You were so young, you went to early.
Why is the world so cruel?
I ask myself that question and come up with no answer every time. The world deserves punishment for what it did to you. It deserves to suffer the same we have to suffer.
Why must we suffer?
I want to believe that you're in a better place Gray…but how can you possibly be when you're family is still in the world of the living? I refuse to believe that you're happy. Happiness is being surrounded by those you love and that is impossible for you with all of us still here. I have lost all happiness with you gone. No matter what I try everything reminds me of you; our contests, our rivalry, our friendship. Nothing is the same any more.
Is there any happiness left for us?
Things have been forever silent around the guild. People refuse to speak but some try and drink their problems away. I tried it once but it wasn't worth it. All my thoughts kept revolving around you drunk or sober. I can't stand this. Why can't you come back to us? I want you to so bad but…I know it can never happen.
Is death really a cleanser of sins?
Sometimes I ask myself-if I would be happier leaving this world and joining you? Together we could create our own happiness. But the guild is already grieving over you. Adding me to the list will only push them over the edge. But it's just not fair. I am no longer happy without you here. Is it fair for me to stay on earth to keep more hearts from breaking then leaving the world to you and being happy myself? Ha! That sounds selfish doesn't it? But my heart is in the right place.
Is it really that bad for me to leave this world as well?
The world is really going to miss you-more than it already does. I miss you and the whole guild misses you. Juvia does blame herself but we don't think she is. You took the hits for her-being the way you are. If only you didn't have to die from your bravery and want to protect your nakama.
Is there anyone really to blame for this?
If only I got the chance to tell you how much you meant to me. Then I would know that you left the world knowing that you were my best friend in the world. But there is more than that. Love would be the word to describe it but it seems so much stronger than that. What I feel for you Gray is something that I cannot explain. I wanted to tell you when the time was right…but no I will never get that chance.
Is it possible to never love again?
I can tell you this now that I will never forget about you Gray. You will forever be a part of me. You will forever be in my thoughts. You will forever be in my heart. You will never be forgotten by anyone-ever. You will live on as the powerful ice mage of Fairy Tail who sacrificed himself to save another. You will be remembered as a great friend and a great mage. You will be remembered by me as my greatest rival as well as the one I fell for-hard.
Can you be forgotten so easily?
If only this hadn't happened. We would all be happy back at the guild hall; partying over our victory, maybe even drinking a mug of sake. But that isn't the case. Instead we were forced to say farewell forever. We had to bury you six feet under the ground. Oh how I want to leave this horrible place and join you but alas I cannot.
Why must the world hurt the innocent?
Take care Gray…see you soon.