Derrick Harrington stood on his walkway staring at the package that had been left on his door step. He couldn't help but wondering who it was for. Well there was only one way to find out. Picking up the package he saw that it was for him but it had no return address. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed some scissors, and ripped it open. To his surprise it was a box full of cassette tapes.

Why would someone send him cassette tapes? He looked around the kitchen for his mom's old cassette player that she was always carrying around. Her taste in music baffled Derrick sometimes. Pulling out all of the tapes he wondered where to start and when he noticed that there was numbers on each side of the tapes.

So Derrick picked up the first one, put it in the player, and pushed play. What he heard after that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Massie's voice was playing on the cassette but that was impossible because…because Massie…killed herself two weeks ago. Pushing back the tears Derrick pushed paused and tried to pull himself together. Why was she doing this to him? The love of his life killed herself and all he wanted was to hear her voice again. Well he got his wish.

He took a deep breath and pressed play.

So if you're listening to this then I probably finally did what I found myself scared to do. I killed myself. Yeah that's right. I'm not afraid to admit it and I'm not scared to say that I, Massie Block, killed myself with a handful of pills. You are probably wondering why you're listening to this and why I even made these tapes. Well the answer is simple. You are one of the reasons why I killed myself.

Derrick was stunned. How could he have been one of the reasons? All he did was give her what she wanted. Love.

I know what you're thinking again. How could I be one of the reasons? Trust me you will soon find out. On each side of these tapes has a number. Each number belongs to a person and hopefully that person will pass it on to the next number behind him or her. If you fail to do so, I have backup copies so all of your precious secrets will be out in public. They are my secrets to but I'm dead so it won't really matter.

So who is the first on this list of mine? Just one guess. So let's begin shall we?

Derrick Harrington. The supposed love of my life.

Derrick sat there and couldn't believe that he was here listening to this. He had idea of why he was on here but didn't want to think about it.

For the record I did love Derrick Harrington with all my heart. The question is how much did he love me? Apparently not that much considering. So we had been dating…how many months Derrick? 4? 6? I don't maybe….12. Yeah that's right a whole entire year filled with so much love and memories. Some I would rather forget and others I wish I could remember for a lifetime

What I'm about to tell you definitely falls under the category of the memories I rather forget. I remember it was our one year anniversary and we had just said goodnight when I heard rocks being thrown at my window. Sounds romantic, right? Well who do I find under my window but Derrick Harrington. Without even waiting for me to say something you climb through my window and start kissing me….except I knew you wanted more. I'm sorry Derrick but I didn't wanna give you more than that.

You got mad. Do you remember what you said, Derrick? I do. I won't ever forget. You said, "It's been a freaking year, Mass. How long do you expect me to wait?"

Derrick winced when he heard Massie saw those words. He had to admit that yes he was expecting more but he wouldn't have pressured her like that. Or at least he tried not to. It didn't work very well.

Then I got pissed and told you to leave. The next morning I find roses at my front door step with an apology. So like every other time I forgave you. But unlike every other time something back was going to come with it. I think you know what I'm talking about Derrick.

The Monday after our anniversary when I walked into school with people whispering as I walked by. You think I would be use to it but these weren't whispers of envy they were whispers of pity. And I DON'T do pity. So I go to you hoping to get some answers when I see you with your buddies. Unfortunately for you Derrick I have an eavesdropping problem. So I heard everything that they said. "Dude so did you get some Saturday?" Josh asked you. You answered, "Who, Massie?" They all laughed like it was funny.

"Yes of course Massie. Was she any good?" they all seemed to ask. At first I thought you were gonna tell them the truth but that just goes to show how naïve I am. "Best I ever had," you said. Well it's good to know I was pretty good considering we had never done it before, Derrick. So when rumors started to make their rounds that I had given it up to you, you didn't even try to stop it. You didn't deny it. You actually made it worse by feeding it the lies you told your friends.

I guess that proves how much I meant to you. And how much you loved me. I hope one day a girl comes along and gives you a good kick in the balls because I know I would never have the guts to. Good to know what I truly meant to you Derrick but will you ever know what you meant to me? No you won't

Then the tape stopped and the static became deafening. Derrick wanted to kick himself in the balls for what he did to her. He had lied and said he had got some from Massie but he didn't think it had been such a big deal. Well he was definitely wrong.

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Sorry I haven't updated in forever but I had to redo this story because the previous one didn't feel right. So tell me if you like it! Review!

Love Always,

Em