Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, Scribblenauts, or any references in this story. I really want to own a copy of Scribblenauts, though...
Author's Notes: I'm not dead yet! *Gets hit on the head by an unladen swallow* Chapter 6 of Island of Idiots IS in the works; it's just that I have some serious writer's block!
This story contains some of the OCs from TDA: My Way. Although you don't have to read that to appreciate this story, it might make things even funnier.
Izzynauts
"EUREKA!!!!!" A loud yell echoed throughout Playa Des Losers 2.0, causing 32 campers to turn their heads in confusion, as well as several animals and the Confession Can, somehow.
The residential goth gal, Gwen, raised an eyebrow towards her boyfriend, Trent. "What the hell was that?"
The musician shrugged. "No idea.." Oh, if only he knew…if only everyone knew…
---
Meanwhile, the villains Heather and Ethan were hanging out together in his room, strangely decorated with many ancient-looking artifacts and somehow darker than it could possibly be at daytime.
"EUREKA!!!!!" Ethan shouted, jerking his girlfriend out of her stupor. "I have got it!"
The queen bee grunted, rubbing the aches in her legs and back. "Got what?"
The evil magician slanted his eyes toward Heather and gave her his trademark smirk. "Why, only a magical artifact that will secure your place as Goddess of the Universe!"
"Yeah, yeah," she groaned, waving her hand impatiently. "The third one this week. What failure have you got for me this time?"
While most people would've been pissed off by Heather's snobbishness, Ethan wasn't most people. His rotten heart swelled and his smile grew wide as he held a small, thin object in the air in triumph. "The Omnipen!"
"And what does it DO?" Heather asked, getting impatient.
"You see, this pen…" Ethan presented the pen to her much like a game show hostess would present a brand new car. "…uses cosmic energy left by the Big Bang to manipulate matter in any way or shape-"
Heather interrupted, "Cliffnotes version, please."
Ethan sighed. "Write any word in the English language, and the Omnipen will make it a reality. Write 'blizzard', and it will start snowing outside. Write 'Brontosaurus', and a giant dinosaur is yours to command. Write 'Ethan is awesome', and-"
"Give me that pen." Of course, the wizard complied and handed the queen bee the pen. Except that he didn't have the pen.
Ethan's black eyes widened in shock. "Wha? Where? Who?"
"Where is it?" Heather asked, quickly getting furious with her boyfriend.
Ethan started checking the floor to see if he dropped it, but one look confirmed that it wasn't there. What WAS there, however, was a pair of green shoes.
"Hey guys, do you mind if Izzy borrows this pen?" Izzy asked, waving the magic instrument in the air. "Thanks, bye!" And she was gone.
Heather's eye twitched.
"Uh…" Ethan failed to meet his girlfriend's eye. "…I'll, I'll get it back! Honest!" He nervously slinked out the room.
---
The little girl in the hallway anxiously rocked back and forth on her sandaled feet as she awaited Izzy's return. And then Izzy returned, glowing pen and regular paper in hand.
"Wow, Izzy," she sighed, "You've got the coolest pens!"
"Well it's not actually Izzy's," she replied as she scribbled down her name on the paper. "Heather said Izzy could borrow it, though." She smiled and handed the little girl her paper back, now with a crazy-looking signature on it.
"I got Izzy's autograph!" she sang, skipping through the hall with the autograph held as far up as she could put it. "I got Izzy's autograph! I got Izzy's…Hi Izzy!" She waved to Izzy, who was somehow now standing at the other end of the hall. Then she continued along her way. Then she noticed that Izzy was also at the far end of the hall. Then she screamed and ran far, far away.
"Hey Izzy!" Izzy greeted, waving to Izzy. "Why did that little girl just run away, screaming?"
"Izzy doesn't know," replied Izzy, scratching her head in confusion. "Maybe Duncan scared her, that silly goose!"
"Yeah, Izzy knows," Izzy concurred. "He really likes scaring people smaller than him for some reason. We should teach him a lesson!"
"Wow, it's like we share a mind!" Izzy exclaimed. The two Izzys started tiptoeing to Duncan's room…
Meanwhile, a pair of boys were staring in disbelief, jaws dropped.
"…Holy Heisenberg! Didja SEE THAT?" Owen asked his comrade, Samuel, finally breaking the silence. "There are TWO IZZYS!"
"Yeah I know," the neat freak replied. "That means one for each of us!"
"AWESOME!" Owen gave him a hi-five, knocking him over.
---
Duncan, as usual, was in the middle of his afternoon nap while snuggling up to Courtney. One of the Izzys crawled through the room military-style, hiding behind every object twice. The other Izzy was examining her pen, seemingly entranced by the psychedelic glowing colors.
"Izzy-scop-plosiv-quire is on the prowl," the first told herself as she slowly approached the yin-yang couple. "Now she has sensed her prey…Izzy-scop-plosiv-quire is ready to attack!" BONK! She was then hit on the head by a clock. "Izzy! What are you doing?"
Turns out, the other Izzy was writing something down on the paper with the pen. "Izzy got bored, so Izzy wrote a story." She held up the paper, which read "Once upon a time". "It's a work in progress."
"But where did the clock come from?" the first Izzy hissed.
The second Izzy shrugged. "Dunno." Then she continued writing…
A little boy materialized out of thin air and greeted the first Izzy. "Hi, I'm Bobby!"
"Hey!" the second Izzy remarked, "That's the name of the kid Izzy's writing about, too!"
The first Izzy scratched her chin. "Hey…wait a minute…"
BZZZT!
Izzy: (Smiling widely) And it was then Izzy realized that the pen was magical! Cool, huh?
Izzy: That's totally awesome! (Nods) Izzy's so smart for finding that out!
Izzy: Well, Izzy does have an IQ of 188!
Izzy: Really? So does Izzy!
Izzy: We're so smart! We're so smart! We're so S-M-R-T!
Izzy: It's spelled S-M-U-R-T!
BZZZT!
Scribble scribble scribble.
In a few short words, Duncan had a glob of shaving cream on his hand and a feather tickling his nose. As the classic prank took effect, the two Izzys were furiously trying to hold back giggles.
"This…is going to be awesome."
"This is going to be the best game ever."
---
Meanwhile, Ethan was having a little trouble of his own. Mainly from the little girl who wanted Izzy's autograph earlier.
"You're evil!" she squeaked, repeatedly kicking the villain in the shin. "Go away, you evil meanie! Evil meanie! Evil meanie!"
"For crying out loud!" he roared exasperatedly, "I just want to know where Izzy went!"
At that moment, he was rolled up into a giant ball by the Izzys.
"Wow!" Izzy exclaimed, "It DID recognize 'Katamari'!"
"That's so awesome!" Izzy agreed.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GEMME OUTTA HERE!!!!!"
The Izzys ignored him. "Ya know what would be really awesome?"
"What would that be, Izzy?"
Scribble scribble scribble.
A radio popped into existence. Izzy got a wicked grin on her face as she turned the dial, and Izzy watched on as she continued to add junk to her Katamari.
Doo doo doodoo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doodoo doo.
Both Izzys started up a rocking duet. "Laaaaaa la la la la la la la la,"
"KATAMARI DAMACY!"
"Laaaaaa la la la la la la la la,"
"KATAMARI DAMACY!"
"Laaaaaa la la la la la la la la,"
"KATAMARI DAMACY!"
"Laaaaaa la la la la la la la la,"
"KATAMARI DAMACY-Y-Y-Y-Y!"
The Katamari rolled into a random room, picking up Noah and Mary in the middle of their 47-hour chess game.
"Don't worry, do your best!"
"Nanana nanana nana nanana nanana nana!"
Next it rolled into the kitchen, rolling up Chef just as he was adding some rat poison to the soup. DJ sighed in relief and sprinkled his Mama's secret spice instead.
"Picnic kibun, feel so good! Huh!"
"Nanana nanana nana nanana nanana nana!"
Then they headed outside, picking up Geoff and Bridgette making out. Neither of them noticed.
"Suteki na afternoon!"
"Nanana nanana nana nanana nanana nana!"
"Guhhhhh…" Edmund picked at his buck teeth in thought as the rapidly-growing Katamari approached him. "Wuz dat?"
Lindsay tried to think. "Uhhhhh…maybe it's one of those things Beth calls 'pigs'."
"Nuh-uh!" Edmund protested. "Pigs're orange!"
"But they do eat a lot," Lindsay pointed out. Then they got run over, of course.
"Furachi na midnight yeah!"
"Yiaaaaoooooo yiaaaaaooooooo!"
Finally, the Katamari landed in the water and was eaten by a shark. That was bigger than it.
"Awwww," Izzy complained. "There goes the fun."
"But what about other types of fun?" Izzy asked. "Izzy means, we've got this magic pen here that'll bring to life anything we write, right?"
"Right…"
"So let's just write something even more fun than a Katamari!"
"Yay!" Izzy jumped in the air in excitement. "Where does Izzy come up with these awesome ideas?"
---
Now Ethan was mad. Not only did he upset Heather, now he was afloat in the middle of the sea after being rolled in a Katamari and eaten, then killing a shark.
"Just one of those days, isn't it?" Noah asked, rolling his eyes.
"Tell me about it," Mary lamented. "And I was winning, too."
Noah scoffed. "Last time I checked, having a queen and a knight is better than having two rooks and a bishop."
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Can I be the queen?" Lindsay asked.
Both geniuses turned to her and shouted, "No!" simultaneously.
"Ya'll poindexters SHUT UP already!" Chef growled, hunched over a large, ancient cauldron. "This filet mignon requires SILENCE for me to cook it right!" He stirred the brown gloop within. Geoff and Bridgette were also sitting in there and were stirred, but they were too busy making out to notice.
"Guh…" Edmund picked a pimple on his chin. "I dun think yer doin' it right."
Chef roared in his face. "WHAT DID YA SAY, PUNK?!!!"
"Don't filet mignon need three peoples?" the retard asked calmly, as if Chef hadn't screamed into his ears.
Chef snorted and threw Edmund into the pot, then continued stirring merrily.
Ethan rubbed his temples. "I'm surrounded by idiots."
---
Gwen and Trent were in the middle of flirting when all the sudden, Team Fortress 2 characters started running around Playa Des Losers 2.0.
"YOU ARE BOTH SPINELESS WORMS!" The Soldier barked at them. Gwen scowled back, but Trent looked genuinely afraid. "YOU ARE INSIGNIFICANT PILES OF VOMIT! Sun Tzu said that."
"Yeah, that's great," the goth girl sighed, "Really. Now could you please go away?"
Trent whimpered nine times.
---
Meanwhile, Ezekiel notched an arrow in his bow and fired, just barely missing his target…and hitting someone else instead.
"YEOW!" Eva roared, pulling out the arrow from her butt.
"If ya need to kill someone, use an arrow," the Engineer mused as he tightened a bolt on his turret. "And if that doesn't work, use more arrow." And then Eva punched him and he died, his blood splattering around the entire resort.
"AWESOME!" Izzy cheered.
"AWESOME!" Izzy cheered.
However, the prairie boy didn't find it awesome when the fitness buff was slowly advanced towards him, ready to repeat her action. Zeke nervously notched another arrow and took aim, his nervousness making that difficult, and fired.
Eva snarled and caught the arrow in midair, then snapped it in half.
"Uh oh," Izzy said.
"Do ya think we should help him?" Izzy asked.
Izzy shrugged. "Why not? After all, Ezzy has become all the rage recently!"
Scribble scribble scribble.
A fat, orange mushroom with red spots suddenly popped into existence, merrily bouncing around without a care in the world, until it hit Zeke and disappeared.
Doo doo duhdoo doo duhdoo doo, doo doo duhdoo doo duhdoo doo!
Funky music started to play as the prairie boy inexplicably grew to ten times his size, all the while looking absolutely freaked out. Eva looked freaked out, too, especially when she had to crane her neck to see Zeke's face. Still, if she could beat that wimp Sasquatchinakwa, a swollen prick wouldn't be a problem, right?
Zeke accidentally stepped on Eva, quickly flattening her to pancake proportions. He looked shocked as he noticed the person he feared most suddenly defeated by himself without even trying.
"Wow…this is neat, eh." Then Zeke started going on a rampage, flattening everyone into pancakes and receiving several 1-ups in the process.
Scribble scribble scribble.
The prairie boy sighed as he found himself back at normal size, then gasped as a bunch of angry pancakes surrounded him.
"Heh heh…" Zeke nervously rubbed the back of his head. "Soory aboot that, eh."
Scribble scribble scribble.
Maple syrup fell from the sky, drenching the entire crowd with the sweet stuff. This was good news for Ezekiel, because it slowed down his attackers tremendously. It was bad news for everyone else, because the delicious smell of maple syrup caused Owen to go into a frenzy and eat everyone.
Scribble scribble scribble.
Everyone materialized, no longer pancaked, and held their heads dizzily.
"What the hell is goin' on here?" LeShawna asked testily. Then the Demoman's sticky grenades blew everyone up.
Scribble scribble scribble.
"What the hell is goin' on here?" LeShawna asked testily. Then a bull randomly ran from out of nowhere and gored everyone.
Scribble scribble scribble.
"What the hell is goin' on here?" LeShawna asked testily. Then everyone died for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
Scribble scribble scribble.
"What the hell is goin' on here?" LeShawna asked testily.
"Yeah!" Harold argued. "Stop hating on my girlfriend already! Gosh!"
There was a triumphant cackle in the air, and everyone turned in horror to find Ethan, clothes tattered and hair seriously messed up, but with a powerful demeanor and a maniacal smile. "Aha!" He pointed to the two Izzys, one of which was still holding the pen and paper thinking of something funny to write down. "So you thought you could get the best of Ethan, did you? Well, make no mistake, I'm going to get that pen back for Heather if it's the last-"
Scribble scribble scribble.
Now Ethan was wearing a pretty, bright pink dress, and everyone laughed.
"Guh huh!" Edmund guffawed, "He's wearin' orange!"
"I loved, I lost, and I saw my archenemy in drag!" Harold joked. "What more could a man ask for?!"
"Why haven't I said anything yet?" Allison asked no one in particular.
Ethan growled, his eyes quickly turning bloodshot. With one swipe of his arm, the dress was torn off…revealing that he wasn't wearing anything underneath. Everyone laughed harder.
"STOP LAUGHING!" he thundered, quickly covering his unmentionables. "YOU WILL ALL RUE THE DAY YOU LAUGHED AT-"
Scribble scribble scribble.
The laughter stopped, and now everyone waited with baited breath to see the results of this new word. They have all grown to fear that noise…
Ethan was now wearing a hi-tech alien helmet, with a whole bunch of whirling doodads, blinking buttons, and electrostatic discharge. The helmet beeped, and the magician found himself standing straight as a flagpole, his eyes wide and staring, as if his mind were being controlled.
"N00BS DETECTD," he droned in a loud, robotic tone. "I IZ EETHUN, ND I PWN DA N00BS WIF 1337 MAJIX. I R 1337, U R N00BS, PREPR 2 BE PWND."
Except for the Izzys' sniggering, the island was silent. They couldn't tell whether they should take this naked, 1337-sprouting robot seriously or not.
Then he attacked! With a quick flick of the wrist, a beam of magic shot through the crowd, turning poor Cody into a muffin. "MY 1337 MAJIX PWN DA N00BS, THEN U AM CRY. MUST PWN MOAR N00BS."
Needless to say, everyone started screaming and running in circles. The robotic Ethan fired more magic bolts, and soon Playa Des Losers 2.0 was absolutely littered with random items.
"N00BS R STIL NOT PWND," he noted, seeing a few more hapless campers running for their lives. "MUST CONTINOO PWNRSHIP TIL AL N00BS R PWND."
Scribble scribble scribble.
The chaos abruptly stopped as everyone turned back into humans and Ethan's helmet was removed.
"Ugh, I have such a headache…" he muttered, holding his head in pain. "I hate chatspeak…"
"Hey Izzy," Izzy told Izzy. "Izzy's bored."
"Well," replied Izzy, tapping the Omnipen on her piece of paper, "We've only got our imaginations to limit us with this thing here."
"Yeah Izzy knows," Izzy mused. "But what should we do next?"
Izzy thought for a while, her tongue poking out from her concentration. "Uh, how about summoning an army of radioactive zombie ninja samurai boxer pirate bear sharks to do our bidding?"
Izzy shook her head. "Nah, not cool enough! Oh! How about we create our own planet, filled with giant carnivorous plants and talking chickens?"
"No no no!" Izzy disagreed. "We should do something that's inappropriate to mention in this story!"
It was then that the campers started to get really scared. They now realized that Izzy, IZZY of all people, was holding what was essentially God-like power in her hands. She could do whatever she wanted with them (which she already did some of), and they were helpless to stop it. With this revelation, some campers began to crumple onto the ground and cry. It was too much for them…
"Oh mama," DJ whimpered. "I love ya mama! I want ya to nevah forget me! WAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!"
"We're gonna die!" Bridgette wailed while she kissed Geoff.
"Yeah, I know," Geoff replied, kissing Bridgette. "This sucks!"
"I'm going to miss you Katie!" Sadie squealed, the BFFFLs hugging each other so tightly, they nearly became one person.
"I'm going to miss you more!" Katie whined.
"No, I'm going to miss you totally more!"
"I'm going to miss you more than more!"
"I'm going to miss you more than more than MORE!"
Colin wiggled an eyebrow and placed his arm around Lindsay. "Well, since we're dying and all, do ya think ya could spare some, ahem, 'bedtime' with me?"
Tyler punched him in the face. "Hands off the girlfriend, douche."
"I thought his name was Krillin," Lindsay mused.
Scribble scribble scribble.
Everyone closed their eyes, dreading to see what Izzy wrote this time. Though no one heard anything…except for the calming splash of a waterfall.
"Huh?" Beth asked herself, being the first to open her eyes. What she found was the interior of…she wasn't sure how to describe it. It had beautiful trees and flowers covering the ground. Birds chirped happily as they frolicked through the air, caterpillars contently munched on their large, ripe leaves, and the sun had a face and was smiling at everyone. Oh and there was excellent air conditioning, too.
"Welcome…" both Izzys chimed simultaneously, gesturing at the picturesque scenery behind them, "…to Utopia."
The campers slowly opened their eyes one by one, each looking pleasantly surprised with the serene settings around them. In fact, Noah was the only one who was still frowning two minutes later. "And what's the catch?" he asked, still convinced there' was some bloodthirsty animal waiting to kill everyone there.
"No catch," Izzy replied, patting the bookworm on his oversized noggin.
"Izzy can be nice!" Izzy protested. "See?"
"Escope can be nice, too!" Izzy added. "And Explosivo, and Esquire, and any other name the producers will come up with!"
---
Heather grimaced as she looked over the maid outfit she was now wearing. "Great," she muttered to herself. "No thanks to that idiot Ethan, I'm now stuck as the unhired help."
"You think you've got it bad?" Ethan sauntered over, revealing that he, too, was wearing a maid outfit. "At least you're a girl."
"This is all your fault, you know."
The magician sighed, lowering his head in shame. "I know. Please, give me forty lashes for my failure."
The queen bee raised an eyebrow. "Why the heck would I do that?"
Ethan shrugged. "'Cause it's kinky?"
Heather slapped him with all her might.
"Okay, I deserved that."
Suddenly a shrill whistle jostled the villains. "Yoohoo!" Izzy's voice called, "Maids! Izzy's ready for her foot massage! And ya better make it good, 'cause she hasn't washed her feet in three years!"
Heather suddenly turned green and she held her mouth closed.
"Oh, and make sure you get to Izzy, too!" Izzy shouted. "Double length, with shampoo and conditioner bonus!"
"Shampoo isn't for feet, silly!" Izzy replied.
Izzy chuckled madly. "It is now!"
At this point, Heather and Ethan were vomiting on each other.
"Ya know, BLEAH! vomiting on each BLEAH! other is a true BLEAH! sign of love! BLEAH!"
"Shut BLEAH! it, Ethan! BLEAH!"
BZZZT!
Izzy: Ahhh, what a great way to end a story.
Izzy: With vomit?
Izzy: Actually Izzy was thinking about a couple who was madly in love with each other, but vomit works too.
Izzy: That's great! By the way, has Izzy heard about this Total Drama Action thing?
Izzy: Yeah, it sounds cool!
Izzy: We should both join, but Chris won't allow that…
Izzy: Izzy knows! One of us goes as Izzy, and the other goes as Escope!
Izzy: Izzy is a genius!
Izzy: (Hi-fives Izzy)
BZZZT!
Author's Note: Yeah, this is probably my most random fic yet (quite a feat given my track record), but that's sort of what makes Scribblenauts great; your imagination is the limit (or nonvulgar common nouns), and that allows for RANDOMNESS!
Izzy: (Riding a dinosaur) THIS IS FOR FEEP!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAHAAHAHHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!1!111!!217 (Steps out of time machine and stomps on robot zombies)