Elliot hugs the warm woman in his bed as he smiles and runs his hand down the soft skin of her back laughing a bit as he pushes her atop of him and kisses her with his eyes shut as he knows it is early morning in New York and he just wants to stay in bed all day but after kissing her and hearing her laughter he deduces that the woman naked in his bed is not his wife and dreads in which stranger it could be as he opens his eyes.

Last night comes rushing back but not the obvious part in how he ended up naked in his partner's bed, they had just solve an especially troublesome case and after decided to go drinking at a bar but apart from that he could not fathom how drunk he would have been to jump in bed with Olivia Benson his best friend and almost life long partner except for him wife.

It had been two months since that very awkward incident and Olivia had left the unit again for a desk job and then had returned just two days ago as he took full responsibility for her terrible leave after he had accused her of seducing him right after the incident and she had left after she had felt both betrayed by the person she trusted most and enraged that he would say something like that to her.

They now just worked the cases they had with out really being there, they did not make small talk to each other except about the job and then they just went home. All the time think about how they could fix this big mess, they missed each others company and not just having each other there as partners but as friends.

Of course Elliot once again shared his room with several bunks in the crib as his wife had not exactly found out but she knew something was up with him and refused him to sleep in the bed and he didn't want to sleep on the couch spending every waking moment getting the third degree from his wife. There was nothing to tell her any way, well nothing he could tell her as he did not have a memory of the night except before and afters, in the latter he had acted like a right old jerk about it all.

Elliot lay awake as he did not wonder about his wife but of his friend Olivia, he wondered if she to lay awake maybe even crying as he had almost accused her of rape by the way he had yelled to her about it like she had controlled his body into her bed when he knew that was of course not the way it had gone down. He knew he had feeling for Olivia that he should for his wife but did not through these past few years, he would never admit it, not for the good of his children but he also wondered if his wife loved him like he could not her and wondered if it was slowly killing her inside.

How could things have gone so wrong in a matter of hours but then he thought he should be looking for some kind of solution instead, something to make up for all of that in which he had done. He knew that this solution came with a price and not every one would be happy with it but he had to face up to the sins he had committed.

He almost forgot how he had turned up in front of Olivia's door as he was so tired from every thing pulling at him and he had to face it before it pulled him into a hole he could not pull himself out of and right now he had no one who could pull him out of dark places because it had always been her. It used to be his wife long ago but now it was Olivia who carried him when he could not walk and he even knew that she would do it even now and that was why he needed to do this he thought as he finally knock on the door three times and waited for her as he was wrapped up in thought.

Olivia open the door blindly and she soon froze when she saw who it was, she didn't know what he was here for, she didn't know how she would respond to what he did any way and wondered if she would just freeze like this moment as she felt so weak in his presents.

"Can I come in," he asks softy gesturing to the apartment as they share eye contact for a brief moment before she let him entre.

"I thought this was the last place you'd be, besides El I might seduce you," she defensively accused him as she tried to beat the feeling of weakness.

"Liv that's what I came to talk about, I wanted to say I apologise about every thing I put on you. You always seem to be picking up my messes," he admitted to her as he put his hands in his front pockets.

Olivia just processed what he said silently as she just looked into his eyes that told her he was being truthful and was really sorry as he explained more about his thoughts to her.

"I just denied to myself what had happened because I don't really remember it and I was hiding from something that we should have been facing together, instead I made you face it alone and I am sorry," he continued to her.

She watched him, studied his features as she saw dark lines under his eye and wondered if he had even been home as he was wearing the same cloths and then wondered if he had had something to eat as she was just about to eat dinner before he had come and she herself was also hungry.

"Do you want something to eat," she asked him as he gave her a confused look as to why she had asked such a random question but then again could not fight the feeling of hunger that only grew at the mention of food.

He silently agreed as she decided to serve him and herself up some pasta in two white ceramic plates handing him one as she received a small smile from him, she too smiled as she had missed that same smile for what had seemed an eternity now.

"Why'd you make so much?" he asked to her as they then went to the couch and ate as they had both missed just talking with out any strings attached, just pointless banter.

"I dunno," she lied to him as she didn't know how to tell him and hoped he quickly dropped the matter, up until just a minute ago she was deciding not to tell him. She had no idea how he would have responded to the news and would just tell him she had met someone after there encounter but now she knew she must tell him although she had no idea how. It had been a massive shock to her when she had found out and confirmed it but instantly she had except it and planed to love the child that grew in her stomach this second.

They ate in relative silence like it was so natural for them to do, no words were needed now and she knew that he knew she forgave him, they were the closest of friends she would forgive him in an instant. Even without an apology she would forgive all that he had said and done, it was like every moment they shared this connection with one another almost sharing the same consciousness.

She had finished before him and now sat on her couch with her upper legs to her chest as he abruptly asked to use the bathroom and wordlessly rose as he knew exactly where it was.

Olivia did not realize that she had left the pregnancy test somewhere in the bathroom until it was to late and the lock on the bathroom door slid into place and she silently panicked, she was going to tell him but she just didn't want him to find out like this she thought as she racked her brown hair back with both hands and theorized breaking down her own door before she thought he would probably want an answer.