Berwald studied the short fence of the bridge, it only came up to around his waist. So easy to step over.. How did a simple walk at night turn into something like this? He stepped over the fence and gripped the railing, looking down at the rapid water. He lifted his foot idly, wondering why it was so difficult, when it was so easy. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of air, taking in the world. There was so much on his mind, so much that he couldn't hear the footsteps of a certain Finnish man coming up behind him.
Tino grabbed one of Berwald's hands that were tightly gripped to the railing.
"Ber? What are you doing?" Concern had tainted Tino's voice. He was always over-concerned, it was always so cute to Berwald, but now, now he didn't want his concern. He only wanted to be alone.
Berwald's leg snapped back into place, but the rest of his body froze. Of all people who could have seen him here, it had to be Tino.. "Just, uh, lookin' at the water."
Tino could see right through his words, if there was one person that Berwald never fully convinced, it was Tino.
"Over the fence, about to step off of the pavement?" By now, Tino's facial expression and voice had been taken over by an expression of worry, fear.
Berwald began to panic, bringing up Tino's hand to his lips, kissing it gently. No. No,no,no. He couldn't do it with Tino watching. It would scar the poor Finnish man for life. Tino's face flushed slightly as small tears welled in his large brown eyes. He tried to blink them back before Berwald would take notice, he was always so sensitive in situations like this. He was sensitive in general.
"Sve..?" Tino's voice was almost in a whisper.
How long had it been that the Swedish man had been feeling like this? Alone, abandoned, scared, lonely? How long had it gone unseen? Maybe it was because he never showed it, maybe no one would of cared.
Berwald let go of his hand, returning his grip to the railing. "I'm sorry." Seeing Tino cry was the worst feeling in the world for him, and he wouldn't stand for it. The Finnish man looked at the fast currents in the water that were illuminated by the moon. He tried to find the deep blue eyes of the Swedish man, but Berwald refused to look in his direction. He kept his eyes directly down on the water. Tino closed his eyes, gently squeezing them shut for a moment, trying to control the tears that hadn't yet fallen.
"Why?" Was all he could manage to ask. He needed to say something, he needed to know.
Berwald blinked, keeping his eyes shut to focus on the sounds of the water that washd over the waterfall. "It feels like no one wants me around." He said in a quiet tone, one that was rare to hear. Only Tino had heard it once, long ago. Tino was unsure of how to react. Berwald was always so strong, but never showed too much emotion.
"I want you here. No.. I need you here." Tino's face began to flush again at his own words. Berwald rocked back and fourth uncomfortably. He didn't believe Tino, but he was glad for his effort. He had been feeling this way for a long, long time.
"Thanks, but you don't have to say that."
Tino's heart sunk, a pain settling over it. "Do you.. Do you think I'm lying, Sve?" The Finnish man paused for a moment before continuing. "All of the times, you were there, with me. Like when we ran away from Denmark, and after that all of the awkward, funny, and just normal day things, you're there. I don't want that to end. Sve, I-" Tino cut himself off by his tears, now falling down his face.
Berwald burst into motion at the sight of tears, dropping to his knees, squeezing him tightly, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Please don't cry. It's gonna be okay." Maybe. The Swedish man had only began to feel worse, and now he had made the only important thing to him in his life cry.
Tino's face was flushed from blushing and from crying, but he gently hugged back. He knew that Sweden hated to see him cry, but he couldn't help it. How could he help it?
"I don't want to lose you.." Tino said in a quiet voice, choked up from crying.
Berwald almost believed it, this time. "I know, I know." He gently rubbed his back, resting his forehead on him. "It's gonna be okay."
Tino rested his head on Berwald's shoulder after he planted a kiss to his cheek.
"Come back over to this side?" Tino's voice was filled with hope.
Berwald shook his head as he rose to his full height again. "I think you should go home, okay?"
Tino's heart dropped as his hope shattered. In protest he shook his head stubbornly. "No." His voice was sharp. "Not without you."
"Then I guess we're going to stand here forever, because I'm not going, and I can't do this with you watching." Berwald said as he turned back to face the water.
"Forever it is." Tino shrugged as he climbed over the railing and stood beside him. "You do it, I do it." Nervousness had washed over the Finn, heights weren't his strongest point.
"No!" The Swedish man's voice raised. If anyone ever threatened Tino's life, they'd be dead in no time. Berwald glared down at him, very, very menacing. He picked Tino up with no effort and set him back to the other side.
Usually, by the look Berwald had given Tino he'd cower in fear. This time? This time it didn't scare him. This time he would stand by Berwald no matter what he'd say. Tino was stubborn, especially when it came to keeping Berwald alive. "I'm not going to leave, Ber."
"If you don't leave, I'm gonna hit y'." That was the first time he even considered it, but he just couldn't handle the thought of Tino dying here with him. Tino felt pain rip through his chest. This was the first time Berwlad had ever said anything like that before.. His eyes filled with tears once again, he turned his head to look at the ground for a moment.
"Hit me then." Tino's voice was a mere whisper. Berwald raised his fist as though to do it, but stopped when he saw the tears. Dammit... he did it again. "One more chance. Go. Home." Tino tried his best to hold onto the emotions that overwhelmed him. He looked up at Berwald, at the fist that he had prepared to hit him with. He wasn't sure what was next, but Tino's eyes narrowed and met Berwald's. "No."
Well that was it then. Berwald swung forward, clocking him in the jaw hard enough to send him flying backwards. He tried not to look. Tino hit the cement of the road, his jaw exploded with pain, and he felt dizzy, as if he was about to pass out. He fought it, feeling blood leak from the corner of his mouth. He raised a hand to lightly touch the blood, shakily looking at Berwald. Tears of shock and fear welled in his eyes, falling down.
Berwald immidiately burst into tears upon seeing what he had done. He jumped over the fence and ran towards Tino, pulling him into a embrace. Monster. He was nothing but a monster. Tino wrapped his arms around Berwald's neck, his face buried in Berwald's chest. Tino almost smiled. He wasn't angry. He was the farthest away from angry. All he truly gave a damn about was that Berwald was back over the fence.
Berwald for once sobbed openly, letting the tears fall down his face. It was a rare sound for Tino to hear. He gave Berwald a warm smile as he gently rubbed his back.
"Let it out. Let it all out. It's okay.." Tino whispered soothingly into Berwald's ear. The sobbing didn't slow down, nor did it pick up. Tino didn't mind this at all, and didn't mind the fact they were on a bridge at midnight. Only a few streetlights and the moon for light.
Tino gently used his thumb to wipe away the tears on Berwald's cheeks. Knowing they'd only be replaced by new tears, it felt like the right thing to do.
"Did you think.. That that would of solved anything? That no one would actually care, that I wouldn't feel anything?" Tino asked quietly. Berwald didn't give a response. "Because I would have."
"I love you, you know that. I always will, and I'll always be here for you. Never, ever go on that long feeling like you're alone. I'm here." Tino said as he nuzzled his face into Berwald's soft blonde hair, planting a kiss on the top of his head.
"I love you too, Tino.." Berwald managed to whisper. Tino just smiled.
~
Well, thank you very much for reading this. ^^
It's actually a roleplay I did with a stranger on omegle a few weeks ago. xD I just now turned it into a story. ^^
English isn't my first language. (I'm Swedish ^^)
So please be understanding if my English isn't so well. It's also my first story posted to the internet in English. xD
So bear with me, dears? ~