A/N:I don't own the characters of FFVIII, any cadbury product, Twinkies (whatever they're called), LCMs and other random things I have introduced into my story.
SUMMARY: Shopping is supposed to be a boring Thursday ritual. That's not the case when you're Zell with an 8 year old in tow.
I'm trying to focus on writing an FFVIII story that focuses less on GFs and the whole Garden fiasco thing. You could say the everyday life of Zell after Ultimecia. I've decided that each chapter is going to have some parts from the past that haven't been explored in the game like Zell's childhood and his teen years at Balamb. Reviews would be nice.
**I hate Edea/Matron whoever she is. I think she is insane and is the main reason why Seifer turned out like such a delinquent. Who the hell builds an orphange in the middle of nowhere? I reckon she drove Cid mental which would explain why he designed GARDEN so he could get away from her.**
TROLLEY CART MADNESS
Zell was searching the protein aisle glancing for that elusive whey protein isolate mix.
Geez what the hell is with all this soy shit?
Despite once having a morbid fascination with sugar laden, processed crap he called a hot dog, Zell was still careful to properly measure his caloric and more importantly his protein intake. Not many people understood the gruelling hours the blonde man spent perfecting his macronutrient ratio to achieve his rippled physique.
Zell didn't always have the classic muscle clad beach bum look with the golden tan and perfect azure eyes. He originally was a small, anorexic looking child constantly teased for his small stature and his innocent outlook on life. Heck, Seifer at the age of 8 was already talking about turkey slapping and rimming, where as Zell was playing Lego like all 7 year olds should. It was strange though. The orphanage was located in the middle of nowhere, ostracised from the joys of telecommunications and shopping. So how did Seifer gain this newfound sexual knowledge without the aid of pornography or perhaps an interested party? Zell didn't know and it was just another reason why Seifer was the devil incarnate. After all, Lucifer had blonde hair and emerald eyes.
Things started to change when Zell found himself at Balamb garden. Seifer had his growth spurt, filling out his pre-pubescent clothes with the image of a man raging with testosterone. Seifer was only 14 at the time, but Zell couldn't help but stare in amazement at the small, gradual changes that overtook Seifer in the prime of his life. They were small, but Zell could account for them all.
Seifer's voice was unnaturally developed for a small boy of 8. Irvine and Squall were typical of many 7 year olds. Zell sounded like a eunuch until 15. Seifer's voice was undeniably sultry for a small boy. It was amazingly raspy, almost husky. Poor Zell in his inquisitive nature pestered the boy with his incessant chatter.
"Seifer!" Zell shouted, his voice like honey. There was a reason why he was adopted. No one could resist his cherub face and his adorable voice that screamed choir boy eunuch.
"What the hell do you want chicken wuss?" Seifer turned pasting on his characteristic sneer that always seemed to annoy the hell out of Zell. It wasn't so much the teasing that shook the little cherub up. It was that annoying damn smirk that ruined the handsome features of the young boy.
"No I'm not...take that back Seifer or I'll tell Matron!" balling up his adorable fists that had no chance of inflicting any grievous bodily harm.
"Jeez Chicky, calm down before you piss your pants" Seifer turned away resuming his activity. He unzipped his pants ready to flood an ant hill nest in a golden shower.
"What are you doing Seifer?" Zell asked, his cutsy-wutsy cheeks scarlet with embarrassment and undeniable curiosity. Zell had never seen a boy naked...apart from himself...not that he was proud of his chibi like appearance.
"What do you think Chicken Wuss, I'm peeing, but I bet you pee like a girl!"
"I d-don't.....how do girls pee?" Zell always wondered why girls took longer.
"Like this!", Seifer snapped around, a golden stream hitting poor Zell's face. So perhaps Seifer didn't mean to piss on his face. He really couldn't help it if Zell was so small.
Zell stood motionless, trying to understand the meaning of the warm liquid dripping off his face. An offensive smell assaulted his nose, the smell of ammonia making Zell gag. He surrendered to his knees regurgitating the lunch he had previously eaten. Surprisingly it wasn't a hot dog, but cockatrice soup. His vomit was so watery that it seeped through his pants, making splotches of congealed undigested cockatrice and noodle on his clean petite jeans.
Zell was a crybaby. If you were a weak flimsy looking 7 year old boy who had been urinated on and then painfully hurled like some deranged alcoholic, then one would suppose that crying would be the only option, hoping that Hyne himself would grant you salvation. So maybe Hyne didn't come to the rescue, but Zell's wailing alerted the rest of the orphanage gang along with Matron.
Seifer stood in a mixture of amazement and with a small semblance of shame as he viewed the messy Zell whimpering in the dirt. The dirt clung to his face imprinting the trail of piss that slithered down the young boy's face. Seifer could almost laugh his head off at the spectacle, the little chicken in such a vulnerable position. Unfortunately to the undeveloped mind of one Seifer Almasy, karma was a bitch and a half.
The smell of bile and digested chicken wafted through the air, hitting young Seifer with an urgency to hurl as well. He clumsily stumbled back making sure to avoid the now flooded ant hill nest. He fell with a thud in the soft patch of dry dirt, his pants around his ankles, naked to the world. Matron was the first to arrive to the scene, first assessing the damage that Seifer had committed.
Matron always suspected Seifer much to his annoyance. He could never catch a break from her omnipresence. This only seemed to fuel Seifer's hatred towards the young cherub who seemed to always land him in trouble.
She picked up the whimpering mess that was Zell, noticing the vomit, but detecting a characteristic whiff of ammonia.
"Zell, did you forget to use the loo again", Matron softly asked, scrunching her nose in mild disgust as the smell overpowered her senses.
"N..no" softly whispering, immediately stopping his crying as he felt the comforting arms of Matron.
She immediately put two and two together and gazed at Seifer who was still sprawled naked in the dirt with his pants down. Matron had a somewhat 'strained' affection for Seifer. He was such a precocious boy with a dirty mind. She couldn't help but think that Zell had been forced into something devious, something downright scandalous. She had already caught Seifer with his pants down exploring himself on numerous occasions, touching himself like some common slut. It simply wasn't natural for a boy his age to be experimenting with sex. She feared for the worst as she looked at the 'deviant'. What had he done to Zell? Was Zell forced to do something inappropriate? Her mind conjured disturbing images of her little cherub being defiled at such an early age. She assumed the worst of Seifer, she always did. She had tried so many times to be rid of him, sending letters to prospective families. Advertising the blonde miscreant like a cheap whore to a family that had no idea what a troublemaker he was.
One glance into his feral green eyes was all it took for anybody to flee in fear. After all Lucifer was blonde with emerald eyes. Yes. Seifer was the devil himself, Matron thought. Always alone by himself creating mischief and burdening her with acts of cruelty. She had never seen such an unruly child before.
She hurled herself towards Seifer ready to punish him for such an atrocious act. She slapped his face with bruising force and then proceeded to pull his right ear ferociously, pulling him up, proceeding to drag him into the house where she would continue to discipline him....exorcise him of his possession.
"No Matron don't hurt Seifer......i-it was my fault" Zell pleaded, screeching with an incredible ferocity that shook Matron to her core. Matron, baffled by Zell's outburst stopped her rampage, unsure of how to proceed.
Was she wrong in her assumption?
Was Seifer innocent?
Zell weakly pummelled Matron, desperate to escape her embrace and tend to the sobbing Seifer. It was wrong. It was a terrible sight. Seifer's face was splotched with angry red slap marks, his ear was blood red and his eyes were shut tightly trying with all his 8 year old might to fight away the tears of pain and embarrassment. This wasn't how the innocent Zell had perceived the brutish and strangely alluring Seifer Almasy. So perhaps he was a bully that constantly berated and belittled him, but there was something that made Zell crave his attention.
Seifer's pitiful pleadings and apologies sounded so child like, so uncharacteristic of the Seifer Zell knew with the husky voice.
The rest of the orphanage gang had arrived save for Squall, hearing the commotion from the beach. Quistis arrived first, flapping her blonde ponytail about, carrying herself as if she were of some importance. She was the same age as Seifer, though two completely different personalities. While Seifer still retained the youthful vigour of a child, Quistis inflated herself beyond her years, frowning upon the frivolity of childhood. She was smart, very smart for her young age which was one of the main reasons why she was adopted. After all who wouldn't want a genius for a daughter that you could carry around as a trophy, looking down upon families who happened to have 'normal' children? She was a child prodigy but she surrendered her childhood which was something she could never regain....not that the rest of the orphanage gang understood or really cared. To them she was just bossy.
She viewed Seifer as a threat to her intelligence, always undermining her authority and making fun of her advanced vocabulary. She barely covered a giggle as she saw a very naked young Seifer sprawled on the ground. She had seen pictures of the male anatomy in a human biology book she found in Matron's room. Though Seifer's didn't look anything like it.
Selphie and Irvine shortly arrived, a bandanna tied to their legs. They were having a three legged race, until Selphie saw the very naked young Seifer spread eagle on the ground. Being the rambunctious and spontaneous girl she immediately let out a ripper, laughing for no apparent reason other than the image of Seifer naked on the ground.
"Ummm Matron...why does Seifer have a worm...and I don't", Selphie asked inquisitively.
"It's called a penis Selphie and only boys have them...." Qusitis trailed seeing Matron give her a deathly gaze.
"Irvy? Do you have one?" Selphie turned to her partner in bondage (three legged race...remember?).
Irvine just blushed while simultaneously laughing at the sight of the very naked Seifer who was beginning to shout a string of obscenities at the curious girl.
Seifer was pissed off. Forget about the pain of being backhanded and tugged on by Matron, it was downright embarrassing to have people laughing at you. He couldn't help it if he was a boy. It was humiliating and Seifer could feel his eyes prick with tears.
"Go away you fuckheads" he screamed between tears, clumsily slipping up his pants to run away. Anywhere in fact. Just some place to block out the vicious laughing. Too bad Zell was running after him.
"Seifer wait.....I can't run that fast"
It was supposed to be funny. Zell running, huffing and puffing covered in piss, dirt and vomit. Seifer would laugh for sure. But he didn't. He was ashamed of himself, for Zell had saved him from Matron. It was Zell, the waif looking cherub.
Matron slapped really hard for a girl.
"Booyaka...found it" eyeing that damn container of WPI that was hidden behind that disgusting anti-androgenic soy crap. He carefully nestled his secret arsenal for anabolic gains amongst the wide selection of leafy green vegetables. He paid extra attention to move the loaf of bread for fear of crushing it. There was nothing worse than crushed bread.
"Dee...have you been slipping chips into the trolley again?" slightly embarrassed that his son had managed to sneak such a large amount of junk food into the otherwise healthy trolley.
"N-nooo..." came an innocent little chirp.
Yep he's lying Zell.
"Put them back Dee. How many times have I told you to ask me if you want something? You can't just put whatever you want in the trolley."
"Ughh fine then...I never get to eat what my friends eat. Why can't I have chips for recess instead of yucky carrot sticks?"
"What are you talking about? You always bring back the lunch box empty....you never complain...", Zell not particularly liking where the conversation was heading.
"Cos I throw it away...", Dee mumbled softly.
Unfortunately to the dismay of Zell, he heard the soft admission. He was panicking as any devoted father would. He supposed he was doing his child a great service by enforcing strict healthy eatinghabits. There was no room for junk food in the Dincht family. No, no,no! The refrigerator was brimming with exotic fruits and obscure vegetables he had seen in a health journal that avidly touted their benefits.
Full cream milk? No way. It was skim milk all the way. The last thing he wanted was his son to die from a thrombotic attack at the ripe old age of 8. Was there chocolate? Definitely. Though it was the darkest variety found in Esthar. The variety that would make anybody cringe in agony at the overwhelming bitterness engulfing their mouth. Poor Dee was patiently waiting for the day he would taste any type of chocolate that contained less than 98% cocoa.
It was almost heartbreaking to see such a sweet dear child immersed in a sea of school children hungrily feasting on Cadbury chocolate, cakes smothered in rich ganache, LCM bars, Cornettos, gaytimes.....anything with sucrose and processed goodness in it. Poor Dee was limited to carrot sticks, celery, organic (nut free) peanut butter, flourless brownies made from carob (cocoa free) chocolate and ofcourse the dreaded plain (98% fat free, sugarless) rice yoghurt. It was moments like these that Dee wished he would be plucked away by the Estherian child service agency and be introduced to some random middle aged morbidly obese woman that would feed him nothing but Twinkie bars.
Zell looked at his son....appraisingly at first. He was tall for an 8 year old almost reaching Zell's chest, something for which Zell thanked Hyne every day. He sincerely hoped that he would have a number of growth spurts during his teen years. Unfortunately if you are going to be tall, make sure to fill it out with muscle or at least a bit of fat. It's not that Dee was unbearably thin; he was just really gaunt...extremely gaunt looking that sent alarm bells ringing through Zell's convoluted mind.
His clothes are awfully big on him...
Where is Doomtrain when you need him?
Despite coming from the burning pits of hell and casting every single status ailment known to mankind, the demonic train was surprisingly quiet in nature and always seemed to keep Zell's mind on track.
"Dee? A-are you hungry?" Zell softly whispering unable to fully grasp why it was only now he noticed his son's frailty.
"NO", Dee called out, unceremoniously shoving the rejected chip packets in the health food section. They obviously didn't belong there which explained Dee's quick and rather forceful deposition of the unwanted goods.
Great! He's in sulking mode.
Zell slowly weaned himself off weaners over a 5 year period. The simple carbs and all the fat in the frankfurts were making him gain weight at an alarming speed. It was inevitable the he would one day leave behind his favourite food for the less than tasty hypo-caloric crap experts called healthy. It had to be done, after all he was 35 and his metabolism was to his dismay slowing down. He supposed it was better to feast through life than to starve for the sake of a perfectly toned body that would make any woman or man drool. Zell wasn't going to marry anytime soon and he liked being single so to hell with the organic crap.
Zell proceeded down aisle 11 (the organic aisle) making sure to secretly put the abused chip packets back into the trolley. His son would never know a thing.
The next aisle and consequently the last one contained the freezer foods.
"Oh man Dee...I'm dyin for the triple chocolate, raspberry swirled, vanilla wafer, crème Brule, ultra caramel fudge flavoured ice cream.....you know the one they showed on TV?"
"You are?" Dee looking at his father in sheer horror.
"Ughhh YEAH!" would Zell really lead his child on like that?
"Quick before they run out! I heard it's pretty popular."
Dee's shock horror face dissolved into a radiant smile.
"Make sure to get two, okay" Zell smiled before being hugged.
It was amazing how innocent children could be.
"The total comes to 1,633.95 gil sir" droned the greasy faced teen behind the counter.
"Sheesh, talk about price hike! Hmmm must be inflation or something" giving a full blown grin. He could definitely see the cash out chick was not in the mood for talking.
Zell always did have the most characteristic smile of the orphanage gang. It was a radiant smile lighting up his face, exposing his pearly white canines. Some would wonder how Zell managed to get all his skater clothes. Let's just say that Colgate was exploiting Zell's genetically perfect, straight proportional teeth in return for a tidy sum of money. The cash out chick immediately noticed the quirk, instantly linking the blonde man with an article she had encountered on one of the many countless nights she spent in her bedroom fantasizing about consummating a non-existent marriage.
"Hey? Aren't you the martial artist that totally thrashed that moronic bitch....what was her name?"
"Oh you mean Ultimecia?" It had been 18 years since he thrashed the 'moronic bitch'. He deemed it strange that some people still remembered. No one remembers a hero. They always remember the villain.
"Yeah....OH-MY-FUCKING-HYNE you must be Zell Dincht!?" she screeched. Poor Dee was clinging to Zell's waist in fear for being spat on by the cash out chick.
"Okay so like you know the President right?....Squall Leonhart.....he is such a hottie! Has he divorced that cow...what's her name again?
"Oh you mean Rinoa Leonhart?"
"Yeah...crazy bitch I tell ya! What a waste of recessive genes! He's got the dreamiest eyes and she is so FAKE I tell ya! So like....how big is he....you know down there cos I saw a full page cover on him in the Estherian Times and let me tell you he does not disappoint"
Did Zell really want to tell her that Squall was gay and using Rinoa as a shield against homophobia?
Hmmm maybe not!
Rinoa was too busy inventing novel ways of wooing the boy into the marital bed while Squall was indulging in the horse hung Ward. It was amazing how much Squall's lithe frame could stretch to accommodate the monster that was Ward. It was funny because Rinoa tried so hard to break Squall out of his shell. Little did she suspect that Squall was in fact an onion? A person with many layers that is. She always took a simple view of life which is what annoyed the hell out of the orphanage gang and could explain her ever lingering OMG-I-need-sex-despite-being-married-to-a-sex-god.
Squall was not really a vocal man. Zell happened to be visiting Squall one evening in the headmaster's office to report his success on a mission. He definitely did not expect to find Ward spread eagle with a raging hard-on on the main desk with Squall overhead, squatting down to take Ward's head and shaft. He was screaming obscenities.
"Fuckin like my man pussy Ward? Im gonna milk your balls real soon"
Ward couldn't really talk but you could tell by the devious smirk and the way he completely thrust into Squall's tight heat that he was enjoying defiling the young teen.
It was the most disturbing sight Zell had ever seen. Disturbing in the sense that Squall wasn't very vocal about things. It was amazing how it only took one gigantic thick mast of a penis to coax Squall out of a shell and string a sentence of words. Poor Rinoa. She had tried so hard...
"I don't really know, but I can definitely tell you that Rinoa is a very 'supporting' wife. The two are very much romantically entangled but...."
"but..." the greasy faced teen holding her breath in anticipation.
"I don't have any money so charge it to my credit card" forking out a VISA card from his wallet. Zell gave a toothy grin.
Zell was guiding the trolley through the gigantic shopping complex to the third floor where he had parked his car.
He had ditched the vegies and anything remotely healthy for a couple of tubs of ice cream, several blocks of chocolate, an armful of crisps and a dozen packets of LCMs that his son was begging for. He could see why. The picture of the LCM bar was practically glistening with melted confectioner's sugar giving it a sinful sheen that begged to be licked and savoured.
Esthar shopping centre was considered Westfield's love child. A total of fifty floors comprised the spiral looking Tower-of-Babel-like-shopping-centre. Moombas cleaned every single nook and cranny making the centre prized for its lustrous marble floors and hospital grade cleanliness. It wasn't slave labour. The moombas were paid quite a handsome salary after Selphie rallied for monster equality in the high court of Esthar.
"Umm Dee do you remember what octant we parked the car in? "Zell was slightly confused by the sea of cars assaulting his eyes. It was normal for over half a million people to visit the complex at one time.
"It's in the seventh dad. It's the pink zone remember?", pointing to a complicated information panel sitting to the side of the parking ticket machine. Dee was very smart just like his mother. In fact you could almost say he was the spitting image of his mother. Thank goodness Quistis was tall; otherwise Zell would probably cry himself to sleep every night knowing that his son would have to endure the same shit he got from so many people. Dee had high cheek bones, bewitching green eyes and strangely.......flaming red hair. To top it off his nose was lightly freckled. It was a combination Zell had never seen before. Red hair was such a rare trait nowadays that made Dee extra special.
"Quick dad before the ice cream melts.." trailed Dee helping Zell push the trolley to the car.
"Oh man Dee! You care more about the ice cream than little old me?" pouted Zell. Dee turned around considering the question with all his 8 year old wisdom.
"I do care about you dad...you got ice cream for me"
"Oh yeah, what makes you think I bought the ice cream for you? It's clearly mine and just so you know Dee I don't like sharing!" jested Zell, though Dee was taking it a bit too seriously and stalked ahead in another of his sulking moods.
Sheesh the boy's too high strung...oh well.
Zell guided the trolley through the maze of cars making sure not to accidentally scratch any paintwork. Zell was very coordinated so it didn't really matter.
A loud revving engine noise rumbled though the atrium like thunder. There was a speed limit of 10km/hr though no one ever really payed attention. You simply went as fast as you deemed was safe. After all it was kind of embarrassing having pedestrians walking faster than a car.
"Dee don't walk in the middle..."Zell shouted.
It was too late.
A black sleek looking convertible zipped through Dee, hurling him sideways onto a neighbouring car.
Zell faced death many times. It was standard procedure for a member of SEED to be trained in such situations.
DO NOT PANIC. In the event your life force drops below a certain percentage a limit break may be initiated, an inherent biological mechanism present in every living thing. A limit break is an extension of the fight or flight response and is characterised by an increased production of adrenaline which serves to stimulate the body to deal with a direct threat to the organism's very life.
The magic, 'Aura', may be used to artificially stimulate the body's release of adrenaline to mimic a 'near death situation'.
Zell could recount the sheer hopelessness he felt as an enemy slashed and hacked its way through his defences, rendering him incapacitated and profusely bleeding. It was strange, the feeling of death. It was far too easy. There was a thin line between living and eternally sleeping, something which troubled Zell deeply during the many times he could feel his senses desert him.
It was a troubled anger.
For fearing death?
Or for such an early demise?
Whatever it was, Zell could feel an intense power building inside his very core, the will to survive overcoming his blindness, his muted voice and his failing legs. In a torrent of emotion he would erupt in a flurry of strategically placed kicks and punches, the sound of flesh ripping, bones cracking; a pleasurable finale to the gruelling fight. Zell had survived to fight another day.
Yet the sight before him, his beloved son splayed haphazardly over a stranger's bonnet was enough to send the shocked Zell into a state of absolute disarray. He ran to his son, trying to make sense of the blood spattered window and the contorted arm of the little boy who melted his heart the day he was born. He clumsily fumbled for his mobile phone dialling 555.
The sound of a person on the other line was a welcome relief.
"I..I don't know what to do! My son was run over....Oh Hyne...there's so much blood....please I need an ambulance....now" Zell cried into his flip phone, doom rattling his heart strings.
"I have your location. The ambulance is on their way. In the meantime I advise you not to move your son in any way...." the operator trailed off giving Zell instructions on how to check for a pulse and breathing.
He had a weak pulse....but he wasn't breathing.
In a moment of desperation Zell stalked to the black malevolent looking car and smashed the window with his bare fist scaring a shocked woman who was still trying to gauge the events leading to the crash. He immediately caught a whiff of booze, a cheap bottle of vodka resting on the passenger seat.
"You fucking bitch what the hell did you do? OH FUCK, my son is dead you Hyne damn drunken slut!" Zell's tattoo scrunched menacingly, his fists were bleeding but he didn't care. He would enjoy choking the drunken bitch, hearing her helpless pleas as her windpipe was crushed. Zell didn't care if he was executed for murder. He didn't care if her bastard of a husband and her pathetic children mourned the loss of a mother who was foolish enough to drink and drive in a Hyne damn carpark.
A furious Zell was a horrifying sight indeed. The woman pressed on the gas pedal, snapping out of her reverie. Tyres screeched as she left the scene of the crime. It infuriated Zell to no end that people could be so heartless.
But it wasn't worth it. She was definitely not worth it. His son was dying and there was nothing he could do except wait by his side imagining a life that could have been. A life where he would one day see his son graduate high school, get his first job, get a girlfriend and eventually see his fully grown handsome son marry. It wasn't fair...life was never fair.
Where was the Hyne damn ambulance?
Okay well that's the story so far. Oooohhhh Seifer likes to touch himself.....though I suspect Matron is hallucinating the whole thing......What will happen to poor Dee?