Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Gundam Wing AC
Rating: K+
Pairings: none really, but if you wanna pretend, go ahead.
Warnings: language, silliness, drabble
Kryptonite: Duo
On a lovely Friday afternoon, the five former Gundam pilots found themselves enjoying lunch in a park relatively close to Preventer Head Quarters. It was too sunny and warm to spend their lunch break in the cafeteria, so they grabbed some sandwiches and headed to the park to eat around a man-made lake.
"Careful Heero," Duo chuckled. "There may be lizards here."
Heero replied with his signature glare and grunt, "Hn." He didn't appreciate the teasing, but he knew if showed any signs of irritation it would only encourage Duo's antics.
The five men walked along the sidewalk to find a vacant bench. Stomach growling, Duo decided to eat while he walked, taking a few bites of the turkey sandwich, he hummed happily. It would turn out to be a grave mistake on his part.
Two beady black eyes settled on the breaded contraption in the braided man's hands. It looked delicious. It wanted that sandwich. It was going to get it.
Looking over his shoulder, Duo realized a fluffy white bird was stalking him.
"Aw, look at the pretty duck," Duo chimed.
"That's not a duck," Quatre corrected. "It's a goose."
Duo was about to grumble out a "whatever" when the goose suddenly took flight, direction aimed for his head. Screaming and waving his arms, Duo tried to ward off the beast. The large bird landed back on the sidewalk, honking boisterously. "FUCK OFF!" Duo screamed at the goose, the sounds of hysterical laughter coming from his friends.
Walking backwards, Duo kept his violet eyes on the freak bird. Craning its neck, the bird followed with soft pat, pat, pat of its webbed feet on the concrete.
"SHOO!" Duo bellowed, but the goose lunged forward, nipping its orange beak at the man's groin. A shrill girlish scream escaped Duo's mouth.
"It's trying to eat me! It's trying to eat my fuckin' dick!"
Trowa fell to the ground, clutching his sides. Quatre wiped tears from his eyes while a red-faced Heero leaned heavily against him, on the verge of falling to the ground like their green-eyed friend. Wufei hunched over, one hand balancing on his knee, the other pointing in Duo's screaming direction.
The goose kept its gaze on the sandwich as it ran a few feet from him. Lifting off the ground again, honking angrily, the bird flew in the air over Duo's head, attempting to snatch the sandwich away.
"Help! Help! Someone shoot it!" Duo cried.
Through his laughter, Wufei shouted, "Let go of the sandwich!"
"Never! Its my lunch!" Duo tried to run from the animal, but it wouldn't let up, he screamed again.
"Heero, shoot it! Kill it! Before it kills me!"
Placing his hand on the gun at his hip, Heero weighed his options. "Ahhh, naaaawwww."
The four laughing men watched as Duo repeatedly tried to run away from the goose, and eventually he tossed his lunch in the grass.
Finally! The goose thought as it attacked the sandwich.
Stomping over to his "friends" Duo hollered, "Yeah, thanks for all your help! I'm going back to my office."
"Oh, don't be that way, Duo," Trowa snickered.
Stomping away, Duo raised two middle fingers behind his head, flipping off the others, which only made them laugh harder.
On his journey back to HQ, Duo made sure to keep a good five feet between himself and any bird in the park, flinching whenever he heard a "HONK!"