It was 4 o' clock in the morning and I couldn't sleep. Tossed and turned, but I couldn't get myself comfortable. So I got up, turned on the light next to me and grabbed my CD player and looked through my CDs for something to entertain me.

Then I found Avril Lavigne's "Under my skin" and decided to listen to it and remind myself why I liked Avril Lavigne then and not her silly bubbylicious so-called "pop rock" now. I listened to songs that reminded me of the heartache I once went through with "Don't tell me", remembered how much I was in love with "Fall to pieces" and then it got to the song "Slipped away"...

And instantly I had the image of C!Syaoran leaving Sakura.

I contemplated whether to make a manga music video with scenes of C!Syaoran leaving Sakura but realized that I didn't really feel up to it, especially at 4 am. So I decided to grab some scrap paper I had at my desk in my room and a pen and wrote down Sakura's thoughts about C!Syaoran using the song.

Yes, I'm a big fan of C!Syaoran x Sakura, and I'm an even bigger fan of Sakura. I hope you guys like it... May seem a little corny but I try.

Enjoy and C&C welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the song, or the manga. They belong to their respective owners and I claim nothing as my own except for this non-profitable storyline.

Bold - Song
Italics - Sakura's thoughts.

She missed him.

She never really showed it, but everyone knew it. She knew it was obvious, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

It was hard, waking up everyday with that empty feeling in her heart. Yet she strived each day to at least protect everyone the best way she can.

I've become more useful now, Syaoran-kun. I wish you could see me... Would you be proud of me? Would you worry over me? Would you still protect me like you did?

I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh, it's so sad

It bothered her, really, the fact that she grew stronger the moment he left. Is that what pain does to you? Make you stronger? Yet there doesn't seem to be an end to her pain. And neither the burden she carries.

Why did you have to leave me when I really needed you the most, Syaoran-kun?

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Oh...

There were so many things she wanted to do with him. So many things to ask him. For some reason, even with what little memory she had, she always had this instinct to always be by his side. She fell in love with him, without even realising it.

Until it was too late.

Nee, Syaoran-kun, if I'd told you how I felt earlier, could you have been saved?

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

When she'd realized what he really is, she was terrified at first. How could the boy who had always cared for her and protected her become so... inhuman. It broke her heart to see what he had become. But her heart shattered even more when he left.

Syaoran-kun, I still love you. I still want to be with you. I wish you'd never gone... I want to save you somehow.

Oh...
I hope you can hear me
Cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same

But reality is harsh. And not only must she face the emptiness in her heart, but a future that she must strive to change. The risk, and the price, is high... but she's willing to take and pay anything.

I'm doing the same for you, Syaoran-kun. Please notice that.

I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened
You passed by

Yes, she had wondered why was she tortured to see someone who looked, and even act, like him even though it isn't him. His actions and his face were so similiar to his that she had cried many nights remembering the boy who used to give that look as well, now tainted.

Why do you have to be so far yet still so close, Syaoran-kun?

Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere you're not coming back

But even if he was similiar to him and yet she still yearns for the same boy who has now hurt so many people, she knows that she has no right to be selfish. There is something that she must do... What's important is the future ahead of them. All of them. Including the one similiar to him.

But she promised that she will find a way to bring him back. And that will be the only selfish wish to reign.

Syaoran-kun, the day you slipped away, was the day I found it won't be the same...

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same

Please wait for me, Syaoran-kun. I will find a way to bring you back.

I miss you...