The Hypochondriac-

Chapter 1: New Arrival

…

Hogan stood by his barracks watching the compound as his men did their laundry. It was a pretty nice day, Hogan was sure nothing huge was going to happen. There had been no air raids in the past two weeks so it wasn't possible to have any new prisoners brought in, and Hilda said that there weren't any transfers anytime soon, so that was out of the question. Maybe today would be a good day to take a breather from the espionage business. No escapes too place so they had no reason to worry about getting anyone in or out that day or night. Today was going to be a quiet day. He was sure of it, of course there was a voice inside his head screaming to keep an eye out, and so he did and relaxed at the same time.

As he was in thought and looking and listening, Newkirk glanced over to him. Colonel Hogan hadn't said much that morning. Was he thinking of something important? A new mission. His commanding officer's face was blank; unreadable. If something was bothering him he certainly wasn't showing it. "Sir?"

Hogan looked at him. "Yes, Newkirk?"

He sounded fine. "You been standing there not sayin' a word all mornin', Sir, is something' on your mind?"

Hogan smiled, that was a relief for Newkirk. "I just realized we aren't likely to be doing anything important today." Hogan straightened. "No raids lately, no escapes, no transfers; nothing big. Klink isn't expecting anyone. Today may actually be pretty quiet."

Newkirk thought about it. "You're right, Sir."

However they weren't. A truck pulled into camp carrying someone. A flyer. He was taken off the truck and taken straight to Hogan.

"Here!" The German soldier said half shoving the man over to Hogan. "I'll tell the Kommandant you're here." The German soldier didn't seem too amused, just annoyed. He walked into the Kommandant's office and announced that he had a new prisoner then left. He didn't seem to want to stay.

Hogan watched as the soldier left as quickly as he could without looking back. He nearly hit the gate on his way out and the German soldiers guarding it. He heard a "WAHOO!" as the soldier drove away.

He looked at the new prisoner. He looked innocent enough. Could he be trusted? Was he a trouble maker?

"Sir?" The new prisoner addressed Hogan.

"I'm Colonel Robert Hogan, You're new commanding officer. You're name soldier?" Hogan straightened and saluted the man.

The man saluted weakly. Had they tortured the man? "-Cough- Sergeant Ronald Conway."

"Are you ill?" Hogan asked concerned.

"I'm always ill." The man's response was so dull. He slouched when he lowered his salute.

Hogan nodded backing away slightly. "Have you seen a doctor?"

The man nodded. He had bags under his eyes. "When I was shot down three months ago, I had broken my leg. They said I didn't but I did! I was in the hospital for a week after that and they released me! Can you believe that! A man with a broken leg! The marrow could have mixed with my blood and killed me! You can bet I'll be reporting that to the Red Cross!"

"So how did you get out of the hospital if your leg was broken?" Hogan asked. Something was messed up about this story.

"They said it wasn't broken. They made me walk out, oh the pain was excruciating." He laid the back of his hand on his forehead dramatically. Then he brought down his hand and looked at it. "Oh no I have a fever again! I told them I had Pneumonia!"

"Where were you after they released you from the hospital?" Hogan asked wanting the whole story.

"Well, they were going to take me to a prison camp but I suddenly fainted and had a seizure." he said dramatically.

Hogan nodded not sure if he believed the man.

"So they took me to another hospital. They did so many tests and yet, get this, they said I was fine and that I didn't have a seizure at all!" He shook his head disgusted.

"You came from that hospital?" Hogan needed real answers.

The man looked at him and shook his head. "Oh no. They put me on the truck again to take me to a prison camp. We hit a bump and I fell off the truck and hit my head! I'm telling you I had a concussion! They said I didn't though! I still feel it! And that was a month ago! They said they were tired of me lying and, get this, on the way here, I tripped and hurt my knee! They wont even take me to a hospital! AND I have pneumonia! These Germans are heartless scoundrels!"

Hogan glanced over at Kinch who shrugged. He seemed fine to them, just tired maybe. He had plenty of energy as he described his journey, what with his flailing arms and gesturing. Maybe he was an actor and just doing it for attention.

They looked back at him, he was panting. "I'm…sorry… I'm exhausted… from breathing. I think I'll… go lie down." He went into the barracks to lie down.

The men looked between themselves. "Exhausted from breathin'? Newkirk asked standing up.

"He seems crazy." Carter said.

"Andrew…" Hogan began.

The other men looked at the young man unamused.

Hogan sighed and crossed his arms. "I think you're right." Hogan dropped his arms and began to walk to Klink's office. "Maybe Ol' Blood and Guts knows something."

Hogan walked into the Kommandant's office casually enough. "Colonel Klink can I ask you about that new prisoner.

Klink looked up from his desk. He was reading some papers. "I was hoping you could answer some questions about him." Klink looked like he was at a loss.

"You mean you don't know anything about him either?" Great this is just what he needs!

"They gave me papers but I honestly can't make sense of them." Klink handed the papers to Hogan then looked over his shoulder as the American officer read them.

Hogan read the papers thoroughly. The thoughts were that he was either crazy, attempting escapes or just looking for attention. Either way, he was too dramatic about it and made them drive all over the place just for him. They didn't want to be responsible for him anymore and so they dropped him off at Stalag Thirteen to rid themselves of the hassling man.

"So, he's either crazy, trying to escape, or looking for attention." Hogan said folding the papers.

"I bet he was trying to escape!" Klink said sure of himself.

"No I don't think so. He'd have escaped by now with those chances." Hogan placed the papers on the Kommandant's desk.

"Then you think he's doing it for attention?" Klink asked hoping Hogan had an answer.

"Or he's crazy." Hogan said shrugging.

Just then the door to the Kommandant's office flew open and Ronald Conway ran in. He looked like a crazy man. His eyes wide with terror as though he knew they were talking about him. "Do you realize how filthy those barracks are? I can't stay there! I'll die!"

Klink approached him. "Sergeant, what seems to be the problem?"

Ronald looked at him with a touch of disgust. He walked past the Kommandant and up to Hogan. "Who is this … this… man?" he said the last word with pure repulsion.

Klink didn't take to kindly to that. "This is the Kommandant." Hogan said with a warning glance.

"The Who?" The man turned around. There was no way he was sick. He acted fine. Especially with the fit he was throwing.

"The man in charge of he camp!" Hogan said putting his hands on the mans shoulders to try and calm him down.

"Well he's doing a lousy job!"

Hogan could see the fire in Klink's eyes.

"This place is so filthy! I could die from inhaling the spores around here! It's so unsanitary there's germs everywhere! If you think that I will stand for staying here you have another thing coming."

Klink went to the window. "SCHULTZ! Get in here I have a man to be taken to the cooler!"

Hogan rubbed his forehead. "Colonel!" Hogan went over to Klink's side and whispered to him. "Sir, I think we should wait, find out what is wrong with him and if he's really crazy we can commit him to an asylum and then we don't have to worry about him anymore!"

Klink thought about it. "But he can't stay here for too long."

"A week at most, that will give us the right amount of time to find out just what is going on." Hogan said bailing the man out from going to the cooler although he didn't know WHY he was doing it.

"Fine but I'm assigning him to your barracks!" Klink whispered harshly.

The door opened and Schultz walked in.

"Schultz, I changed my mind take him to Colonel Hogan's barracks."

Ronald stood there with a scowl on his face but was led out by Hogan and Schultz.

…

The man starts some serious trouble next chapter!