I've got to know.

This is my first GF fanfic and also my first fanfic in English. As English is not my native language, there will be some faults (not too many I hope). If you see these faults, please tell me, it will allow me to improve my English.

Disclaimer: I don't own GF (unfortunately).

When I decided to become Sinedd's girlfriend, I knew it would be difficult. He was, after all, the archetype of the "bad boy" fantasized by girls: dark, aggressive, violent, angry all the time, sly, strong, charismatic, sexy, animal… and mysterious. Very mysterious. So mysterious that I don't even know his birthday! I mean, I understand that he may not want to talk about his parents or his childhood. But, as his girlfriend, I think I have the right to have some information on him. Like his birthday.

It's not just curiosity. It's that… I'm supposed to be the closest person to him in the galaxy. I may be close to him physically but, concerning his memories, his thoughts or his feelings, he keeps me as far away from him as anyone else.

So, here I am, in the office of the Shadows' coach at a very late hour, rummaging in the players' records. I feel like a thief. But I don't care. I've got to know.

After half an hour of research, I finally find Sinedd's record. It is the thickest. It is composed of several files. The first one comes from the orphanage where he spent his childhood. On the first page, there is a photograph of him. He must be five-years-old. I can't help but smile: he looks so cute with his jet black hair and his big violet eyes, full of innocence. Now his eyes are full of anger and frustration. The innocence is gone. I sigh and look at the other information: his surname, his birthday (yeah!), his birthplace… I read all this with a great interest. I'm so happy to learn something about him.

Then there is this line: parents' death reasons. The answer is in one word: war. So cold and brutal. The next line is also awful: "Family left: None". I feel my heart sink. I knew that Sinedd was an orphan, yet seeing it written like that, it is so harsh.

I decide to resume my reading. The next file concerns his behavior when he was at the orphanage. There is almost nothing written between his arrival at the orphanage and the age of ten. But after… tens of pages of troubles. All sort of troubles: fights, robbery, racket, traffic… Yeah, a real delinquent. If Aarch, then Artegor had not recruited him, he would be a criminal today. I wonder what happened when he was ten-years-old, why he became such a problem teenager. It's certain that something occurred, something that turned a cute child into the aggressive lone wolf that we all know.

There is a last file. A letter addressed to Artegor:

Mister Nexus.

You had asked me to make a psychological check-up of your player Sinedd. So I fixed an appointment with him. He was an hour late and didn't seem happy to be here. But I'm used to this kind of behaviour from teenagers. I tried to make him talk about his parents, his childhood but he remained mute. When I insisted, he shown aggressiveness and left after only half an hour. Therefore, I used the files you had given me, what you had told me and what I had seen of him to analyze his personality.

Of course, losing his parents affected him. But orphan children can become balanced adults if they are adopted by loving parents. Even if they are not the biological parents, they provide children with love and security. Sinedd was not adopted: the feeling of being unwanted was added to the feeling of being abandoned. Both feelings are very bad for the psychological development of an individual. I think his aggressiveness comes from here. In his mind, he is alone against the world; he feels insecure and is afraid. Being aggressive is a way to defend himself.

Moreover, I think that Sinedd is a battered child. You said that he didn't like to be touch by adults and didn't trust adults. This behaviour is characteristic of battered children. But, as he refused to talk to me, it's only an assumption.

As a conclusion, I can affirm that Sinedd has some serious issues. Yet, I can't help someone who doesn't want to be help.

I'm sorry.

I feel tears running down my cheeks. I put the record back in its place and leave the office.

Now I know.

That's all for now. If you liked this chapter (and I hope you liked it), I will write another chapter.

Reviews, please.

Nausicaa.