Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy; if I did, I absolutely would have made the AU episode into multiple episodes.

Author's Note: Here's another little story for ya! Again, I'm sorry about TINTE, but I'm really just not feeling it right now (as sad as it sounds). But, so much more is flowing! I've had the first part of this chapter done for at least 6 months and I re-discovered it a couple days ago. Something just clicked and I knew exactly where I wanted to go with it. First of all, for my sake and yours, I hope I don't lose that and second; I'm kinda hoping the same thing will happen soon with TINTE.

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

If you feel like reviewing, I would really appreciate it, I love knowing what you guys think and hearing about what I can do better!

If you don't feel like it, just enjoy… that's what this is here for.

Long. Exhausting. Tumultuous. Hellish. I could have thought of a million adjectives to describe that day. Never in my worst nightmare had I imagined that April and Alex could do something so juvenile… so repugnant. I wouldn't have put it past Alex when I met him, but in the past few years he had done a complete three-sixty and I was more than sure he was the one. However today, when I walked in on them in exam room four, it was like a window to the past. Everything I thought had changed in Alex was back and rearing its ugly head, because he really never changed. The commitment, honesty, and humility that I had looked so hard and long for in him was all just a Band-Aid covering a festering wound, it couldn't hold up forever.

At the time I believed I could change him for good, but now I know the truth: people only change for the ones they truly adore. There was a time I would have bet my life on Alex and his love for me. Now I see that what we had may have been love, but it wasn't the right kind of love. Our love wasn't grand and awe-inspiring, it didn't slow time or catapult the word into a tizzy. Our love was not the love. The one that would last a lifetime, make it through the tumultuous hurricane of life and bounce back stronger than before. Our time together was a lesson, for myself just as much as Alex. He learned that he could be the good guy, the one who bought flowers, held hands, and kissed goodnight. I learned that sometimes the people you're closest to hurt you the most and the carousal keeps spinnig when you're in pain.

"You're mother says the residents have a name for me" came a voice from the other side of the bar, snapping me out of my revere as quickly as I had fallen in.

"Huh?" I asked, jumping slightly and whipping my head to meet the sparkling blues of a doctor I knew so much yet so little about, "I wouldn't know anything about that."

"What is it?" he asked, his eyes bouncing back toward his near-empty scotch glass.

I turned my head back toward the bar for a moment and contemplated whether or not I should tell him.

"Psst," he said with a smile, "Come on."

"McDreary," I stated simply as he chuckled "We call you, McDreary," I finished as he continued to laugh, "You think that's funny?" I asked.

He huffed a deep, melancholy chuckle and took a swig of his scotch, "It's apt. McDreary," he whispered to himself, "That's my life," he finished with shrug, spinning his glass.

"So, how about tonight you're not McDreary… you're just… you're just a guy in a bar," I whispered back, biting my lip.

"And… you're just a girl in a bar," he said.

"I am," I replied simply.

Sitting here with him, it was hard to believe that he was the same person I worked with… the rugged, mean, untouchable Dr. Shepherd. Something had to have happened to change him into such a bitter person. I remember when he first came here, before his wife followed him… he was happy. He was hopeful and funny and every intern wanted on his service. How does a man go from being so happy, to so… not?

"What happened to you?" I asked tentatively, almost surprised that the words came out of my mouth, "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. I don't even really know why I said it. I just mean… when you first came to Seattle, you were so happy, so excited about your job, and always trying to one-up someone. Everyone wanted on your service and now… I mean, they used to call you McDreamy. How does someone go from McDreamy to McDreary?" I rambled, then blushed realizing what I was asking and how much I had just said.

He looked up at me and I expected a hard, detached gaze, but I was surprised that when our eyes met, his were shining in amusement, "Wow, I have to admit, it's a little impressive that you didn't take a single breath that whole time," he chuckled before he dropped his gaze and his demeanor darkened again. He began tracing his finger around the cold, wet ring his glass had left on the table, as Joe gave him another, "You know… that's a good question," he began wistfully, "I guess… you know I haven't been able to be myself in so long now, that I've just resigned myself to what I have... or had. Do you know why I moved out here in the first place?" he asked curiously as he got up and moved closer, into the stool Cristina had left.

I shook my head, asking Joe for two waters before turning my head to look at Derek, playing with my last shot glass.

"Addison slept with my best-friend," he began somberly, "Had a relationship with him actually… for months," he snorted angrily, "So I moved out here to get away from them, for a fresh start you know? It worked for a couple weeks, but eventually she followed me out here. She had left Mark and she kept apologizing and apologizing, begging me to take her back and give her a second chance. She even got my sister Nancy to call me and tell me all the reasons I would be stupid not to go back to her. Obviously, I agreed to try again and we've been in this weird limbo for years now…," he rubbed his hands across his face, "God," he laughed darkly, "I haven't told anyone about this… at all."

Smiling at him sadly I whispered, "I'm glad you told me," and placed a hand on his shoulder. I couldn't believe what he had just told me, that his wife, the happy Shepherd had cheated on him. In that moment, I realized I would never be able to look at her the same ever again, "and I'm sorry," I whispered sincerely, "that this happened to you."

He glanced down at my hand then at me and mirrored my sad smile, "Me too," he whispered back, "I appreciate it, but you don't have to be sorry. I didn't realize it until just recently, but I've been stewing for so long that I don't recognize myself anymore. The man I used to be would've been disgusted at the way I've been treating people. Hell, I didn't even realize Addison was seeing Mark again… let alone that the baby was his," he said in disbelief, shaking his head.

"Dr. Shepherd," I whispered sadly.

He shook his head, "Call me Derek, you deserve it after listening to my sob story," he chuckled darkly.

"Fine," I conceded, "Then you have to call me Meredith."

"Well ok," he smiled, "it's nice to meet you, Meredith," he said, reaching his hand out to shake mine.

"It's nice to finally meet you, too, Derek," I smiled, shaking his hand firmly. His grip was firm and strong, but somehow it had a sort of softness to it that made me feel comfortable.

"Alright," he said, gulping down some water, "I showed you mine, now you show me yours," he winked.

I froze for a second, "I don't have anything to show," I spoke shakily, knowing full well that I did.

"Yes you do," he said softly, "you've been upset all day."

"How do you...?" I asked curiously.

"I pay attention to things," he responded with a smile before sighing slightly, "You don't owe me anything, Dr. Gr… Meredith. If you would rather not talk about it, then we'll leave it at that," he said with another smile as he tilted his head.

For some reason, just the way he accepted that I didn't necessarily want to talk to him about it, made me feel comfortable, "Well... uhh... last night I got engaged and today... I found him having sex with my best friend in an exam room," I began, noticing his eyes grow wide and fill with sympathy, "And for some reason I'm still living with my parents. After I moved back for my internship, I didn't have time to find an apartment, but somehow… all these years later, I'm still at home. It isn't terrible, my dad and I have a great relationship, but my mom's… just… complicated," I finished with a sigh.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, rubbing his hand along my arm briefly, "it makes it that much harder when two relationships end at once," he said with a sad, knowing smile as I nodded and stopped rolling my glass around, looking into his blue orbs again, "I can only imagine how complicated Ellis Grey is to have as mother."

"You don't want to know," I said with a laugh, "It's like World War III in our house anytime someone other than Dad challenges her opinion… he's the only one who can get her thinking semi clearly," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I can see it," Derek said, "Richard seems like a pretty level-headed guy."

"He is," I smiled, "he's a good dad and honestly? I would go insane if I were in that house with just my mother."

"Are you kidding me?" he laughed, "I feel like I'm going insane every time I step into her office and she tries to shove a clinical trial down my throat, I can't imagine being in a house with her at all."

I laughed with him, "She only does it to the people she likes, you're lucky. I'd watch out though, if you don't revert back to McDreary by morning, she might not like you anymore."

He smirked at me, "What makes me not McDreary right now?" he asked.

"You're not being an asshole," I shrugged.

He sputtered a laugh as he took a sip again, "You do realize I'm still your boss, right?"

"Just speakin' the truth," I stated simply, while mentally punching myself in the face for calling my boss an asshole.

"I respect that," he said with a chuckle.

"You know, I've been doing a lot of research lately on the tumor that Mr. Robertson had."

"The guy who was mauled by the bear?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, and I think I may have found a way to help other people with the same tumor. There's a drug that's not yet tested on humans. I would like to do a clinical trial, but I need a neurosurgeon to back me up… and you're one of the best. My mom's been on you about starting a clinical trial anyway and I was hoping that maybe you'd be interested," I finished, hoping to get him interested in the idea.

He hummed in response and looked at me skeptically, "Aren't you on Ortho?" he asked.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Technically, yes because my mother has an iron fist when it comes to what she wants me to be, but I'm in the process of transferring to Neuro. It's just… Ortho is great and all, but it's not what I'm passionate about. This… the human brain and how it works, this is what I'm passionate about. Because without the brain working properly, nothing else matters. When it comes down to it, it's the one organ in the body that holds the entirety of who we are."

"Honestly," he said with a smile, "I think you'd be the perfect person to start a clinical trial… not many people have that kind of appreciation for Neuro and it's really promising, Meredith," he told me softly.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face at his words and the butterflies that erupted in the pit of my stomach as I realized that this could really happen, "So you're in?" I asked excitedly.

"I'm in," he replied happily, "Stop by my office after rounds tomorrow and take me through it step by step. Then we'll take your proposal to the Chief and go from there."

"Crap," I whispered, hoping he didn't hear it as I started playing with my watch.

A confused expression took over his face, "What?" he asked.

"Nothing… nothing," I stuttered, "She just hasn't authorized my transfer yet, I've talked to her about it but she refuses and hopefully this will be what she needs in order to realize how serious I am abou this," I said.

"I've got your back," he said confidently, "If she refuses, I'll fight her on it and convince her this is where you belong."

"I appreciate the offer, but Derek I don't want you to jeopardize anything by doing that," I told him honestly, "It's not worth it to me."

"It is to me," he said seriously, "Look at me," he said and I lifted my gaze to meet his, "There is a limited number of Neuro residents who have ever been as passionate about it as you are, if I was able to see that in the few minutes we've talked about it, then your mother will get it through her thick skull sooner or later." He said sternly.

We sat and talked like this for hours. At some point I had stopped drinking completely, without even realizing it. Talking to him made me feel normal, it made me feel less messed up, and it kept me from thinking about the natural disaster my life had seemed to become and I hoped I was able to do the same for him.

Talking to Meredith last night had proved to be surprisingly cathartic. In the 6 years I have lived in Seattle, not once had I told anyone my story. After what happened with Mark and Addison, I never allowed myself to make any friends and risk something similar happening. It was a punch in the gut to hear what I was known as throughout the hospital and it really opened my eyes to the way I had treated people in the time I had been here. I hadn't given them any reason to think of me as anything other than an asshole and I knew that know. If my mom ever found out, I'm sure I'd get yelled at worse than that time Mark and I followed Kath around town on her first date and threw popcorn at them in the theatre.

Just as the thought crossed my mind, my cell rang in the pocket of my scrubs and when I looked at the caller ID, Mom's name stared back at me. Good-lord, she always did have perfect timing, "Hey, Ma," I spoke swallowing a large gulp of coffee.

"Derek, dear," Mom spoke softly, "How are you doing?"

"You know what, Ma?" I responded happily, "Better than I have been in a really long time."

Mom sighed audibly on the other end of the line, "Oh, you have no idea how happy that makes me, but I must admit, I'm a bit surprised given the circumstances. Nance got a call from Addie last night. She came over this morning and told me all about it," Mom said, sounding quite exasperated, "But I thought I should call you myself… you know how those two can be."

I smiled softly to myself, Mom had never really liked Addison and she was never too keen on us getting back together in the first place. When she found out Addison was pregnant, she almost literally flipped shit, "More than I would like to," I groaned, before jumping into a summary of yesterday's events, "Mark showed up, and he and Addison told me the baby was his… that they'd been seeing each other for over a year now. And Mom, I almost feel bad about it, but I was relieved. I felt trapped when Addison had told me about the baby. I had been planning on trying to end it with her for good and when she told me," I groaned and shook my head, "but now I feel free... freer than I have in years. I met someone last night and I'm pretty sure I finally have a friend here," I laughed, "isn't that sad? I live in Seattle for six years before I allow myself to make a friend."

"Oh dear, I'm sorry for how everything played out. I'm sorry that you had to act as their puppet for so long and I may never forgive them for that. I have to say I'm a little disappointed to hear the news about not having another grandchild after all, but it's for the best."

"Ma, Mark has been like a son to you since we were 8 years old. I know that you'll treat that baby like one of your own grandchildren," I told her softly.

Mom hummed in response, "You're right, he will always be my second son, but after everything that happened and everything that he and Addison did to you… I don't see them being invited home for the holidays anytime soon. As much as it kills me."

"I understand, Ma. I really do," I replied, smiling as I heard a knock on my office door. I stood up to open it, knowing I'd be greeted by Meredith on the other side.

"I'm just so happy for you and that you're taking the news so well," she continued, "I've been worried about you for a long time. I'm glad you've made a friend there."

"Thanks, Ma," I told her, "I really appreciate it and I'm really glad you called, but I have to get back to work now."

"Alright, dear. I'm sorry to keep you, but call me soon," she demanded, "We need to talk about holiday plans, it's high time you got your ass back here young man," she finished sternly.

"Ma, watch the language!" I laughed in amusement, "I promise I'll call you soon, I love you."

"Love you too, Derek. Have a good day."

"You too, Ma," I responded, "talk to you later." As I hung up the phone, I saw Meredith snickering out of the corner of my eye as she went through her paperwork, "Sorry about that," I smiled.

"No need to apologize," she said with a smile, "Your mom sounds nice. Not that I was eaves-dropping, crap, you probably think I'm a creeper now," she said, biting her lip.

"I don't think you're a creeper," I laughed, "and she is nice… she's an amazing Mom. She's had my back through all of the crap these past few years. It's been hard on her though, Mark was like a son to her," I told her softly, "And now I Just told you a lot more than you needed to know, yet again."

"Can't blame the alcohol this time," she smirked and I laughed in reply; it was absolutely true though, "Alright, so I made you a copy of everything I have, but I'll walk you through it a second," she began.

"Perfect, let's see what you've got," I replied, moving around to sit in a chair next to her. She took me through the research she had done step by step, through every one of the dozens of pages of information. There was no doubt in my mind that she was well-read and based on the amount of time she must have spent on this, there was not a hint of doubt that she was serious about Neuro.

My meeting with Derek this morning went better than expected… he was completely sold on the idea. Now, our only hurdle was getting my mother to accept our proposal. We had arranged a meeting with her through her secretary for 4 o'clock this afternoon and I had been going back and forth about asking my dad to be there to provide some sanity to her decision.

However, for now I was busy dealing with Lexi… my newfound sister. After I had resuscitated her last night, I wanted to ensure she was stable. I was still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the whole situation. The fact that Thatcher had another daughter and the fact that my mother had known for so many years but failed to inform me and honestly… I didn't know which I was more stumped by. As I made my way toward Lexie's room, a voice from inside sent a chill down my spine and made my heart palpitate and as I walked through the doorway, I nearly froze at the sight of Thatcher, my biological father.

"Lexie, when are you going to learn to take care of yourself," he yelled at the pale girl in the hospital bed.

"Maybe when you stopped drinking and learn to take care of yourself!" she hissed back with a glare, "You're not the only one in pain, Dad. You may have lost your wife, but I lost her too, I lost my mom!" she continued, a single tear making a trail down her cheek and around her nose.

"Mr. Grey, I'm going to have to ask you to leave for now," I spoke, surprisingly firmly, "Your daughter is very sick and raising her blood pressure may be dangerous," I said, taking in the shock on his face as he turned toward me and looked me up and down.

"Meredith," he smiled, "My goodness, I haven't seen you in…"

"About 25 years," I finished for him dryly, "and whose fault is that?"

"Meredith, your mother…" he attempted to begin.

"Can be a handful most of the time," I offered coldly, "I need you to leave Mr. Grey."

He looked heartbroken as I continued to speak, "Meredith, I'm your dad."

"No, you're not," I replied, "You're just my sperm donor, now please, I need you to leave," I told him seriously.

He looked between me and Lexie, opening and closing his mouth, searching for something to say before hanging his head low and shuffling out of the room.

"I'm going to check your vitals real quick and inspect your incision sight, alright?" I asked her softly and a couple minutes into my checks I spoke up again, "You doing ok?" I asked.

"Define ok," she rasped in a cracking voice.

"I know it's a bad question, I'm sorry," I apologized.

"It's not your fault," she said, "You're just trying to be nice, but you don't have to be. We may have the same sperm donor, but that doesn't mean we're sisters," she said dryly.

"You're right, it doesn't," I continue, very relieved she didn't want to start having sleepovers and soul-bearing sessions right off the bat, "but you're the only person who hates Thatcher more than I do, so I feel a bit of a connection," I joked.

Lexie cracked a small, tired smile, "You're good with him," she murmured, "you don't take his shit, you give right back. You're better at this whole thing than I am," she whispered.

"I'll take that as a compliment," I giggled softly, moving around her bed to check her incision sight, "but I have about 25 years of bitterness built up. I don't know about you."

She sighed deeply, wincing at the movement, "It's only really been about 5 years for me. Since my mom died," she said, her voice growing rougher and cracking slightly, "He didn't stop caring until she died… it was like part of him - the good part of him - died with her. She was only dead about a week when he started drinking. He had never been much of a drinker. Said it was poison that people used to get through the holidays," she said as tears began tumbling past her eyes and she sniffed.

"Lex," I whispered sympathetically, now finished inspecting her wound, I covered her up, ripped my gloves off, tossed them in the trash and made my way back to her. My hand came to rest tentatively on her shoulder and my thumb rubbed circles into it as I grasped her hand with my other, "I'm sorry about your mom."

She looked at me, her bright green eyes, the ones that mirrored my own, letting me in. It was as if I could see the cracks within her, where her mother's death, and her father's words had torn her apart. Squeezing my hand tightly, she closed her eyes, resting her head on my hand that was still on her shoulder as she let the tears fall. I began to question whether she had ever truly grieved for her mother, or if she had simply buried it beneath the dreads, black clothes, and dark makeup as she tried with everything in her to drag her father out of the whole he had dug for himself. I had known her all of 36 hours, but I knew already that she was a fighter, that she was tough. She had to be… she was a Grey.

"Lex," I whispered, "When you get out of here, will you have anywhere to go?" I asked her hesitantly. The terrified look in her eyes when she glanced up told me she had yet to think of that and most likiely had no where to go, "OK," I told her softly, "Would you want to stay with me?" I questioned.

"You don't have to do that," she spoke brokenly, "Why would you do that for me?"

I thought for a long moment, "Because, we're sperm sisters," I said with a laugh, smiling wider as she laughed along… only to wince, "Sorry, but seriously. You can stay with me for as long as you need to," I told her tenderly and smiled again as she nodded in response, her eyes portraying all the thanks I needed.

I pulled away slowly, reaching to grab my notepad and a pen from the pocket of my labcoat, "I want you to take this and write down your clothing sizes; pants, shirts, bras, underwear, and anything else you need, including toiletries and makeup… anything else you can think of," I told her as I placed the pen in her hand and the paper on her meal table. She looked panicked as she glanced between me and the paper and just as she opened her mouth to decline I spoke, "If you say one word or if I come back and that piece of paper has less than 10 items on it, I'm telling the nurses you think they're bitchy and trust me... you do not want to piss off the people taking care of you," I laughed and she rolled her eyes, much like my Dad says I always do, "I have to get back to work, but I'll stop by again soon," I smiled as I made my way toward the door.

"Dr. Grey?" I heard her call just as I reached the door, "Thank you," she whispered with a tired smile, nearly inaudibly as I turned around.

"You're welcome," I whispered back, "and Lex? Call me Meredith," I said.

She smiled again, "Bye Meredith."

"Seeya later,' I told her quietly before walking out the door and pulling it closed behind me. Just then, it hit me… I just invited her to live with me, but I'm still living with my parents and my mother has absolutely already vocalized her dis-like toward Thatcher's other daughter. Lexie still has a little over a week left in the hospital, maybe more if she tries something again, that's enough time to find an apartment… right? Emergency apartment shopping was definitely on the to-do list for today.

And that's the first chapter for you! I've decided to cut down the size of the chapters for this story, which means I can upload more often and have a better chance of catching any mistakes!

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

Review if you feel like it! J