Hello! So, this story has been in my head for so long! I hope you like it!
Enjoy!
Clarissa
My life has been one hella of a trip!
Felicity was a name I used so I can hide not because I did something bad but because I want to get inspired and write.
My real name is Vasiliki Clarissa Smoakiadou my last name isn't pronounced like my fake last name it's pronounced;
"Smo-a-ki-adou"
I used Clarissa at home and Clara at my job which is to be a director and an actress/a writer.
I was born in Lamia, Greece and I was a daughter of a soldier and my mum was a teacher in kindergarten. While my maternal family were soldiers that fought in WW2 and WW1 as for my paternal side of the family they were also soldiers during WW1 and WW2 and the Greek Civil War but during the Civil War my half maternal side was forced in the army. While in my direct ancestors fled all over Europe and Australia and became College Professors and other jobs.
As for my paternal side they were the Communists but my grandpa saw what was happening to them was too savage he took his family and run to Athens and they did hid some of the protestors during 17th of November in 1973.
My dad was only 7 years old at the time and didn't understand what was going on.
As for my direct paternal ancestor during the 1800s there was a girl vigilante slash blacksmith during the Greek Independence War in 1821 called Smaro or Smaragda Skorpiti. That changed her name and disappeared for good there was no trace of her until she gave birth to her son who then gave birth to twins who then gave birth to sons and daughters and then those gave birth to sons and daughter and they became my grandparents.
But back to my life when I was 13 my dad was promoted to Chief Master Sergeant and started getting overstressed which resulted into starting hitting my sisters and yelling at me.
We understood that it wasn't our faults but at times it felt like it was. It was so weird that at times our dad seemed to be fine and teach us how to fight and what to do in case we found ourselves in a deserted place or in danger.
But the next they would beat us.
I tried to understand them by searching more about my parents' childhood and I understood that my mum grew up in a tight strict house while my dad was neglected and had a schizophrenic older sister which hit him so hard that caused him to suffer from TBI.
That is why he was so easily changing moods so I and my sisters tried to keep them from being angry. Our parents stopped hitting us as we reached 17 and 13 and 15 but they verbal abuse continued.
But at the 18 I graduated from High School with my Graphic designs degree and my Proficiency degree in English and then I started college majoring in directing/filmmaking and history. At the same time I started my computing degree.
Three years later I had my computers degree and filmmaking and then I started teaching English in order to raise money and try to take the custody of my sisters, Samantha and Eugenia.
My first job was to be an actress in a historical series and then I heard about a movie that was about 1821 and I decided to put my historic research I had done to help develop the film better then I was told that the director of the film thought I should play my ancestor and I accepted. That was my second job as a Greek actress but my last in Greece.
After a year I took off and fought in court in order to adopt my sisters we managed to move to UK where my sister Samantha got into Neurology and started her research on TBI cure in honor of our dad. While my Eugenia wanted to become a Trauma Surgeon and she did, she started Med school in London where we were staying while I worked as a Director's first assistant. Four years later we moved to US where I had a steadier job as an actress in a series called Children. I played a teenage daughter that had a drug addiction and she was an alcoholic.
Ironically I never drink because of my mental health issues, when I was 15 the abuse I was suffering and the bullying took a toll on me and my depression which had started to manifest at the age of 8 reached rock bottom and I suffered panic attacks that would result to me be paralyzed while shaking with cold sweats and my heart to squeeze and have spasms which would caused me pain to the point I would pass out from the pain. At 15 I suffered my last panic attack that caused me to lose control of my body and slam to the ground of my school and pass out I woke up in the hospital having an IV on me and telling me that my heart rate was off the charts and if I hadn't pass out I would most likely had a heart attack. Learning the news made me feel even worse. My depression was at its worse too but learning how weak I really was made me want to end it all.
So I tried to commit suicide by jumping off my balcony. I got stopped by Samantha who came to tell me our grandpa and grandma were there with our aunt for Christmas supper.
I started battling my depression and my anxiety alone. That took a toll (yet again) on my immune system and I realize that the solution I found which was to turn my acne into scars and eating whenever I would feel stress wasn't working in fact I was attacking myself even more! I reached to the point where I would lose my eyesight, feel dizzy and feel as if my own legs were out of my control. I almost died when I decided to tell my parents I went to the doctor at the age of 17. Then I learnt that I was suffering from two autoimmune diseases one was Osteochondritis Chronopathy located on my hips and knees and Hashimoto Thyroid. I started taking pills and physiotherapy. But my parents didn't care they continue their abuse at all of us especially at me saying that my pains were in my head and I was crazy just like my dad's sister.
At 15 though I started drinking alcohol which messed up my grip on my sanity, I would drink too much for a normal person to get hella drunk but I wouldn't be tipsy at all but I would get this sudden urge to think of suicide and death and how of a screw up I was. Then I suffered my almost heart attack/ panic attack and my almost suicide that it taught me that alcohol doesn't solve anything or helps you! Plus my entire family has a past of clinical depression and alcoholism so I was being extra safe.
As I was living in London with my sisters and being an assistant I auditioned for Doctor Who and I played a character there which that led me to get casted to The Vampire Diaries and The Originals.
I used the name Clara Smoak as a stage name. I participated in the Boulevard theater and I was really happy with my life and the lives my sisters had then I decided to direct a few plays and I was happy with they received great praise.
As I was playing in one of the many theaters during Christmas when I met Richard a single US soldier who became mine and my sisters best friend, we never had a best friend we always were each other's rocks.
Richard could relate with us because we were Army Brats and he was a soldier we prepared him mentally for what that life has in store and when he was deployed we would send him care packages and letters of encouragement but not only for him but for his Unit too!
When he returned my sister Eugenia proposed to him and they got married a year later. At the time I had decided to leave and go somewhere to get inspired which I had told my family which concluded my sisters and Richard. We had cut any communication with our parents and our family in Greece after the adoption trails.
They thought we disgraced our family because we told in public of the abuse and mental health issues we suffered.
Of course before I decided to move to Starling City and use my computing degree I did some physical changes, I lost weight and dyed my hair and wore glasses and skirts something I hated but the job required for some weird ass reason.
So, Felicity Smoak came into play. I made up a story and forged my ID.
I didn't expect to be drugged into vigilante stuff! But now I had!
And had totally fucked up my mental health! Richard was worried too since both of us could relate to the mental health instability warning bells. So he visited me along with my sisters the first year I was in the Team and Oliver didn't pay me so much attention.
As for the inspiration….well I found some at the beginning but once I got into the Arrow stuff I lost it but I felt like I was bound to this town and couldn't disappear because of Walter.
He recognized me and found out who I truly was. He became like a father figure to me and swore not to reveal to anyone who I was. He even helped me write two plays by being my proof reader and urging his wife aka Moira to read them saying that his friend had written them. Most times she loved them.
Around the time Sara appeared I had already starting writing a book not a play with mine and my sisters' life stories. When the stress of Slade being loose made me suffer one more panic attack like the ones when I was 15.
And it was embarrassing because it happened before Oliver, Diggs and Sara after they finished talking about their scars.
I felt a sharp pain in my chest and the sudden cold fingers wrapping around my heart and squeezing it and then I couldn't breathe which resulted to me fall on my knees.
In seconds Sara and Oliver were at my side asking what was wrong.
"I'm having a heart attack! Call Eugenia and Rich!" I gasped in pain as my eyes rolled at the back of my head and started spasm. Diggs rushed to my bag and took out my phone as he started searching frantically in my contacts for a Eugenia or Rich. His hands were trembling.
I woke up the next day in the hospital with my sisters and my brother in law holding my hands. Richard was in his Army uniform and I understood he and Eugenia came from Charleston while Samantha was in Chicago.
"You gave us a scare there, Vasiliki!" Richard said in Greek thankful I was okay now. Richard had learnt fluently Greek from us because he wanted to know when we spoke about him behind his back.
Which we didn't. EVER…well maybe once.
"How are you feeling?" Samantha asked me worried and I sighed.
"My heart hurts and my knees are in pain." I said in Greek.
I knew for a fact that none of the team arrow were in the room because I would have seen them.
"I think you should come with us in Charleston." Eugenia said serious at me then I saw tears slipping from her eyes.
"We survived so much, sis. Hell, I have stitched us up so many times from the beatings mum and dad gave us that I should have been used to the image of one of us in the hospital bed but I can't bare it, Vasiliki! I really can't!" Eugenia cried in English and Richard as he heard what Eugenia had said got angrier.
He learnt of our abusive family when we had gone on vacation in Lesvos and Samantha had one of her traumatic flashbacks/ dreams of her getting whipped by our mum until her back bled when she was 5 and she cried in my arms as she wore a tank top. Richard had gotten worried hearing her cries during the night and saw her back and woke Eugenia from his "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER BACK" scream. We spent the entire night telling him our story.
Unknown to the family in ICU when Eugenia started talking while she cried Oliver was about to walk inside the room when he heard what she said and his hold in the soup and coffee was lost at it smashed to the ground as he stayed there in shock.
"I agree with her. You know your heart is weak as it is. Don't forget you were the one who told me about you being born dead and having the doctors to bring you back and tell your parents to be careful with you because you were weak. I know that you are not weak weak but your body can't handle more stress now." Richard said wisely as he took a hold of my hand and I had started crying.
"Come home, sisteroula!" Samantha whispered chocked up as all of us cried. Richard was silently kissing my hand and holding his wife while Samantha laid her head on belly as she sobbed and I cried looking the ceiling.
"God!" I let a sob in Greek and I closed tightly my eyes.
I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted it to end.
"I want to die." I said suddenly in a blunt tone and Richard looked at me shocked while my sisters cried harder.
"I really do, guys! I can't be this weak anymore! I'm damaged goods." I said to them and Richard stood up and stormed out of the room in anger.
Oliver on the other hand had left the hospital in total shock and anger. Richard was just as angry. How could his sister in law give up so easily after of twenty seven years of fighting against her demons, her parents?
He paced back and forth in the halls of the hospital until he got an idea to search a psychologist or a psychiatrist. He run to the psychic ward and found the first doctor on sight.
"Hi! Hey! Excuse me I need help!" He rushed towards a doctor who looked at him worried.
"Yes?" The doctor asked.
"My sister in law suffered a heart attack and now she told us, my wife and her other sister and I that she wants to die. She's been suffering depression ever since she was eight years old. At 15 she tried to kill herself. Both my wife and her sisters suffered physical, verbal and mental abuse by their parents for years until my sister in law who is the eldest fought in court and took their custody when my wife was 15 and my other sister in law was 17 years old. I really don't want her to commit suicide, sir! I lost my twin sister to suicide and my dad I can't bare it again, please!" Richard rambled quickly to the doctor as tears overtook his vision and the doctor seemed shocked at how much pain him and his wife's family have gone through.
"Alright, son, show me the way." The doctor said and Richard nodded unable to speak between the sniffing.
The doctor whose name was Dr. Sage walked inside the ICU room and saw a blond girl pale and clearly tired.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Sage." He said with a soft smile.
"Hello, sir. Rich, why is a psychiatrist doing here?" Eugenia asked as she stood protectively before her elder sister. Samantha had gone to get food and coffee for all of them so she was absent.
"Vasiliki needs him. I'm sure if she talks to someone who isn't part of her past might help her heal. It helped me after I returned from Afghanistan." Richard explained deeply worried and concerned.
"Thank you, Rich." Felicity spoke with a weak voice. She had started to get tired again the drugs she was given they had wore off along with their effect.
"So, miss Vasiliki when you heal I'll be expecting to see you once a weak. Don't feel embarrassed if you want our sessions to double per week okay? Get well! It was so nice too meet you all!" Dr. Sage spoke softly and with a smile at the women before him.
How can anyone survive something like they had and found a way to cope?
So? What do you think? Did you like it? Tell me in your reviews!