It Can't Be So Hard
By Morbid Mistress
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters used in this story.
"Staring at the sun, no rays down on me I call you in my arms, embrace is unreal. You're moving on, we'll never be apart, just drain my tears, I cry aloud. You're moving on, you'll never be a part of all my tears"
Lacuna Coil "The Ghost Women and the Hunter"
She felt so lost, so confused. It's been so long that she's felt this way about someone else. Sure Harry was someone she admired – someone she considered a "hero" ... but that's all he'd ever be; a hero. Michael was a different story. She was stupid, she admits, Michael gave her nothing. He was childish – but she felt guilty about turning him down after he helped her wipe away her tears for a few days. When Hogwarts last term ended ... she felt so dirty; so confused.
Dirty- because it's only been a year since Cedric's death ... she still didn't know who she was. But she just goes off with the first person to comfort her after Harry.
Confused- because she didn't know what came over her when Harry mentioned Hermione that day at Hogsmede. She over reacted ... she didn't know who she was – or what she was doing anymore ... that's when the worst summer of her life began.
There she stood in a black dress with the sun illuminating her shiny dark hair. She stood alone – hoping that no one would dare bother her or approach her. Ever since his death, all she wore was black ... the memories to vivid in her head for her to ever forget them so easily. She visited this place often knowing that this was the only way for her to escape the memories yet at the same time live them as if it were happening all over again. A tear quietly escaped her dark brown eyes and cascaded down her check. The sun, now descending upon the horizon, more beautiful then ever before, she turned around to face it the sun warming her cheek and giving her this feeling that she wasn't alone. Her heart felt broken once again, she felt it slowly breaking into tiny little pieces inside of her as she remembered once again, another memory of him that made her smile yet break inside.
She stood in front of the tomb. She didn't dare read his name – it made her die just a little more each time she did. Tears again slid gently down from her eyes and she bent down to be level with the ground. It was hard to come there everyday, but she felt that she needed to, everyday that she did she would feel like it would get easier and easier to let him go – but when she came back the next day, it made it harder and harder to let go.
"Why is this so hard?" She whispered into the calm wind, even though she knew no one was listening. She hoped all the time that he was listening to her and watching how much pain she was going through – oh how she hoped. She ran her fingers across his name but never daring to look up at the words. She took the roses she had in her hands and placed them in front of the tomb, knowing that it was the last thing she could do for him.
"I love you so much – "Those were also his last words to her. Right before he left to go to the final Mission of the Triwizard Tournament he told her that he loved her so much ... and that if something bad happened to him, he didn't want her to dwell in the past. It finally hit her, what he meant when he said that to her. He knew how she would react to something like this – he knew her too well – that's why he said not to dwell in the past. It was dark now and she was there alone and cold.
"This is the end. I finally know what you meant the last day we ever spoke. I know that I can do this for you – at least one thing you wished for can come true ... I won't dwell in the past." Tears streamed down her face and onto the grave ground. "I guess it's time I let you go – that we let each other go. I'll always love you ..." With that she touched the tomb one last time and kissed the name Cedric Diggory.
"I will never forget" She said as she read the words, "We will never forget him". She finally said her last "I love you" and she walked out of the Hogwarts burial grounds – never looking back.
Cedric Diggory
Son, friend, mentor
We will never forget him
Chapter one: Hope you guys liked it ... xoxomorbid mistress