Title: Uncle Jokes/I'm Robin
Summary: The first time Robin heard it, he was 11 years old. It had taken the acrobat a moment to understand the horrible joke his best friend had sprung on him, but after he did, no one would be safe.
Complete: 26/07/14
The first time Robin heard it, he was 11 years old.
He was sitting on a roof with Kid Flash in Central City, three building over from the confrontation between Heatwave and their mentors. They were close enough to leap into action if the call came over their radio, but far enough away to be out of Heatwave's danger zone.
Robin, used to being by Batman's side against everyone but the Joker, was less than thrilled about sitting outside, but at least he had company, he supposed.
Finally, about 25 minutes of nothing, Robin snapped. He couldn't stand the quiet!
"I should be inside with Batman!" he whined. "I don't wanna be out here; I'm bored!"
With a grin plastered across his face, the 13 year old red headed speedster turned to the younger sidekick, clasped his green gloved hands in his own red ones, and uttered: "Nice to meet you Bored, I'm Kid Flash!"
It had taken the acrobat a moment to understand the horrible joke his best friend had sprung on him, but after he did, no one would be safe.
He used it on everyone.
One time, he was on a stake out with Green Arrow and Roy, where they were totally-not-spying on Black Canary and Wild Cat, and Roy was beyond frustrated.
"There is really nothing better to do than spy on your girlfriend, Ollie?" the young archer grumbled, glaring at his pseudo-father with bright blue eyes from under his domino mask. "Robin's only here for one night. Let's go!"
"She's not my girlfriend... yet." Green Arrow waved off, still looking over the side of the building with the binoculars, "I'm almost finished. Be patient!"
"I'm Impatient!" With a grin, Robin gracefully jumped in front of his quickly-becoming-enraged, super-hero-family-older-brother.
"Hi Impatient! I'm Robin!" he declared, grabbing Roy's hands and pulling him closer.
He wanted to be angry, but Roy could only shake his head and curse under his breath, smiling down at the younger boy.
"It's a good thing you're you, Rob."
Then there was the instance after the Team was formed, where they had to watch a movie together: Team bonding, Red Tornado's orders.
Artemis, Conner, M'Gann, Wally and Kaldur were perched around the front room, watching the title screen for the movie M'Gann had rented on her way home from school.
"Where the hell is Robin?" Artemis exclaimed sliding further into her seat, they had been waiting 10 minutes for the boy to change already.
"Dude! Hurry up!" Wally called down the hall, knowing his best friend could hear him.
The only warning the Team had before Robin appeared before them, hanging upside down from cord fixed to the rafters, was his cackle. He startled everyone in the room.
"I'm here. Get whelmed, geeze," he responded around his signature laugh.
"God, you're impossible!" Artemis exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation.
"Nah," he responded, plopping down on the arm of the chair Wally was sitting in, "I'm Robin. Not sure who 'Impossible' is." Wally nearly rolled out of the chair, laughing at the stunned expressions on their new friends faces.
And it didn't stop while he was Dick Grayson.
"I'm serious, Dick," Bruce chastised, "You can't behave like a brat to Gloria Vandergilt—"
"That doesn't sound right," Dick interrupted, his eyebrows scrunched together in serious thought. The sudden interruption of his lecture took Bruce off guard, causing him to stop. Long seconds passed before Dick spoke again, looking up at his guardian with a sincerely stern look.
"I thought your name was Bruce, not Serious!" Behind Bruce, the previously quiet Alfred coughed to cover his laughter as the millionaire stood awestruck before his ward. "You aren't gonna turn into a black dog, are you?"
"I—" Bruce stopped, completely speechless for the first time in a very long time. He tried again to speak, but stopped again, not sure how to respond to the sassy teen in front of him. "Just... go to your room."
"Ok!" Not waiting for him to change his mind, Dick disappeared out the door, grinning like a manic.
"What was I supposed to say to that?" he asked with a shake of his head, turning to the elderly butler.
"Not much, Sir," he answered, not bothering to hide his chuckle. "Master Wallace has had quite an effect on him." Bruce rolled his eyes. Of course he had heard from other League members, of Robin using similar tactics on them, but he had been completely unprepared –an unnerving thought- for Dick to use one to get out of a lecture.
"Of course Kid Flash would teach him Uncle Jokes."
I have a goal of 12 fics this year... I'm two behind. I can do this. Totally...