Rick is tinkering with something and Morty slowly opens the door.
"It...its been a while since you've bugged us Rick."
"Yep..."
"It...its been kind of nice. Are you dying? Are you..."
"Maybe I just want some alone time Morty. Did you ever think of that? You know (belch) grandpa doesnt always want to play therapist to you and your sister's petty problems. Already did that with your mother."
"Didnt you abandon mom?"
"Wouldnt you? I mean look at her. I mean thats partially my genetics but wubba lubba dundub am I right?! Hehehe...now go away im busy."
"O...ok..."
He goes to shut the door and than sharply opens it.
"Oh mom also wanted to know if..."
He drops a box with a button on it by opening the door and a strange floating head with a cyclops eye and tiny eyes on its tentacles emerges screeching.
"Oh geez Rick! What is that?!"
"Jesus Morty you released the beholder!"
"That what?!"
It screeches again and pushes Morty as it hovers into the house.
"Morty you idiot! Beholders are a highly intelligent species and have weird hypnosis based powers using their eyes! You saw how many eyes that thing had Morty! And all of them can turn you into stone or make your penis fall off!"
"Geez Rick, make my penis fall off?!"
"Yes Morty (belch) make your penis fall off!"
Summer screams. Rick rolls his eyes.
"Awww shit."
They run to the living room and see a statue Summer.
"See Morty?! See what did I tell you?! STONE MORTY!!! YOUR SISTER IS STONED!!!"
Rick pauses for a moment...
"Ok that was kind of funny...heh wubba lubba..."
"Do something Rick!!!"
"There is nothing your Sanchez CAN do human! She will only unpetrify when I will it! And if you want your sister back. YOU will have to do something for ME..."
"Oh geez Rick..."
"There is another beholder on this plane. I can feel its presence... Beholders hate other beholders little human... we all wish to claim the treasures of this world for ourselves. You will help me defeat and kill this other beholder, or your sister will make a nice bird bath forever!"
"Damn it Rick! Why...why would you keep a beholder in a box huh? I mean..."
"Well how bout you Morty?! What was so God damn important that you had to tell me right away? WELL..."
"Mom wanted to know if you wanted macaroni and cheese or tatot tots with..."
"Macaroni and cheese or tator tots?! Are you fucking kidding me Morty?! Look beholder ill cut you a deal...unpetrify my stupid grand daughter and you can have Beth."
"What Rick?! NO! You heartless son of a bitch thats..."
"No deal Sanchez! I demand the elimination of my other on this plane and quickly!"
"Welp I tried Morty... Imma go smoke hookah."
"You what?!"
"I dont feel like doing this. Beholders are dicks and this is you and your mom's fault. Im out."
Rick changes some settings on his portal gun and tosses it.
"Take you and your beholder buddy to the other one and do whatever you want. Assuming you dont break that too its set only too and forward from the location of the other beholder to here..."
The Beholder flails.
"You knew where the other beholder was this entire time?! I oughtta turn YOU into stone!"
"You got some big eyeballs but remember who put you in that box. You're lucky (belch) Im just in the mood to relax bitch!"
"Little human...do not end up like this one. He is chaotic evil and his very existence risks the entirety of your world."
"Yeah...yeah I kinda already knew that."
As Morty uses the portal gun and they transport to the location of this other beholdder on some unknown swamp planet... the other beholder whom is alot meaner, a pea green, and smaller shreeks like the brown bloated one.
"Why don't you turn into a toad?!"
"Hoohoohoo!!! My plan worked. The human is impervious to our gaze!"
"Your plan...what?!"
"I attempted to turn you into stone as well to break the Sanchez. On a multitide of levels that did not work. It occured to me than YOU were more emotionally vulnerable than your Sanchez."
"A good plan counterpart...but in vain. Immune or not this pathetic creature is no match for me! You know as well as I do we are thousands of years ahead of these simpletons!"
"Ha! T...thats where you're wrong beholder! You see it isn't human intellect that had us dominate our planet...its our stupidity! We...we're so stupid we build bigger guns...bigger missiles. Just to destroy eachother! We pollute the air and water just to make numbers go up on our bank accounts. Numbers we wont even live long enough to enjoy! We spend hundreds if not thousands on a big wedding just to have a divorce. Wasting ten even fifty years with someone before we decide we hate their guts!
My grandfather is a piece of shit. But he has every right to be if the rest of our species is! Loo...look at this!"
He pulls out a cellphone.
"This is a computer...in my hand! I could learn algerbra, a new language, an awesome cooking recipe...what do we do with it?!"
He takes a picture and the flash makes the green beholder shreek.
"We take pictures with it! We take pictures with it so that we can put it on the internet, so that people we dont know or worse...dont WANT TO KNOW click a liked it button. You know...before we're all fucking banned and have to start the whole process all over again because we are such narcissistic and insecure TWATS but we let some moderator walk all over us because we're also very docile and very scared twats!"
He takes more and more pictures and and the green beholder screams for Morty to stop as the pain is unbearable.
"How bout this...how bout this for a deal the both of you!"
He turns to the brown one and starts taking photos as well. The brown one screeches.
"You both can turn any human you want into stone, a toad, a stoned toad for all I care! But not my sister! Not any of my family. Are we clear?!"
The brown one moans.
"Crystal human...your sister is fine you have my word. Just stop, this is agonizing!"
Morty stops and the beholders recuperate. The green one hovers over to him
"This one is a special one...he has put us through such pain and turmoil that we could put aside our blood hatred for one another brother. While your existence does pain me still, the flashing light against my retnas and the complete disregard this human had pained me more. This is a dangerous species we must work together to destroy!"
"I doubt even we could manage brother...as I feared from the start not only do the humans have the Sanchez as a weapon, but his twisted little grandson is slowly becoming him. I fear one day for all our sakes but if nothing else...I know this little souless beast will hold no greater contempt than for the Sanchez. They will ultimately destroy eachother as we had planned too."
"Indeed... you are always welcome in my swamp layer brother. We have shared something today in our hellish torture. However please do not bring the human again."
"I wasnt planning it..."
Rick is smoking hookah and they telport into the living room.
"Oh your back...alive (belch!) I shouldve known when Summer was screaming about what had happened and wheres Morty... I mean its not surprising. You still got that stupid eyepatch on. It probably made the gaze attacks not work."
"Is that what it is?!"
The brown beholder moves the eyepatch and seed the mangled face and puts it back "ewwww"
"I will make you a new deal human... I will take myself away from here. I will never turn anyone you know into stone but please never follow me. Never speak of me. I wish to have nothing else to do with a Sanchez or his kin and hopefully you all get rid of eachother."
"Yea...I...I have kind of a bad feeling that will end up happening..."
"(Belch!) So Morty after decing mac and cheese...I kinda ate your serving too. The hookah made me hungry and...you know...I thought you were dead. I told your mom you were at a friends house. That'd buy me two days to find a new Morty but we both know you dont have any friends heheh WUBBA LUBBA MORTY!!!"
Morty has a stoic annoyed expression, pulls out his phone and takes a picture of Rick with the flash and he covers his face. "Ow! Fucking asshole Morty!"