Okay, so one of my friends didn't want their name in here, so i used their pen name for fanfiction.. enjoy :)

Chapter One: It's a bird, it's a plan. NO! It's… A paper image of Edward?

"Corissa, darn it, hurry your butt up!" I knew Yuunagi was impatient, but come on!

"WWHHAATT!!" I yelled back. Seriously, when it's the middle of the day and you're dreaming about the scrumptious Edward Cullen, you do no want to be interrupted by impatient freaks, like my friend Yuunagi.

"OH SHYT, THIS THING IS DANGEROUS!" What the hell is Kimberly yelling about? I went to check what the fuss was, but when I walked in the room, I was not expecting to see this.

"WHAT THE PUMPERNICKLE." Standing in front of me -no, scratch that- floating in front of me, was a white sheet of paper, with a cheesy picture of Edward on it. The odd thing was, besides it floating, it was speaking and making ghost like noises. Now that's something you don't see everyday.

I took a glance at Yuunagi and Kimberly. Yuunagi's face was as pale as Edward, and Kimberly… where the hell did she get all those cuts from? Right then the floating sheet flew at me,

"oh damn!" I yelled. Now I know where Kimberly got her cuts from. Apparently, Edward likes to give people paper cuts. "Jeez man, you don't have to be so aggressive." I didn't want to yell at him, but by the look on his flat, white face, he didn't look too comfortable hearing that.

"Sorry, I can't control myself, I'm just to dangerous!"

"Uh, no worries," I replied "just take it easy!"

I sucked on my now bleeding cut, and said, "so before anyone else gets hurt, how about you tell us what the bleep is going on?" Edward then explained how he was happily frolicking with Bella in there magical meadow, when he was abruptly transported to my living room. Now let my tell you, by the looks of this story, it ain't gonna be easy to get this sheet of paper home.

"So let me get this straight" Yuunagi began "you're a fictional character from Twilight… can I cut you with my sword?" What the fudge?

"Yuunagi…YOU CAN NOT CUT HIM INTO PIECES!" I yelled.

"Oh c'mon, it's my job to kill demons"

"HE IS NOT A DEMON, HE IS A GOD!" Yuunagi and Kimberly looked at my strangely.

"UH…" Edward began "do I have a say in this too? Because I must say that I prefer not to be torn into a million pieces."

"I'm sure you wouldn't" Yuunagi whispered, with an evil gleam in her eye.

"Don't even think about it Yuungai!"

"Fine…" then she added under her breath, "for now."

-Knock, knock- I ran to the door to see who it was. To my surprise it was Alyssa and Mariana. Good God, is there supposed to be a party here?!

"Hey guys, this is really not a good t-" Mariana cut me off "HOLY BULLSHIAGA MAN, IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS!?" Oh, no. Why must Edward attract so much attention?!

"I-It's Edward" I said sheepishly. I hoped they wouldn't freak out.

Suddenly Alyssa had this huge grin on her face. "OH SNAP, CRACKLE, POP! I want that paper…NOW!" she yelled and started chasing Edward around the room. "GET THIS DERANGED GIRL AWAY FROM ME," Edward screamed. Alyssa's smile faded and she obediently took a seat by the now dazzled Mariana.

"OoOOo, he is so pretty…" Mariana said dreamily as she began to lift her finger to touch him. However, Kimberly slapped her hand away.

"HE CUTS PEOPLE - STAY AWAY." Everyone then sat down, except Edward - he can't, or he will fold in half - and I turned on the t.v.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long day.