Hi, new fandom! First Suits story I've ever posted so I hope you enjoy it :)
Disclaimer: Don't own. Mistakes are mine.
HURTS
"Hey, it's me. Please come home as soon as you can, yeah? We need to talk... It's important."
"Harvey, where are you? It's almost nine. Please... please just come home soon. Look, this is really important and serious and I'm frea- Just call me when you're on your way, okay?"
"Where the hell are you, Harvey? You know what? Fuck it, I'll talk to you tomorrow."
I pulled the cell phone away from my ear, frowning and throwing it down on the seat beside me. Dammit, Mike sounded weird and angry, upset too. He'd left seven messages. Was everything okay? There was nothing wrong, was there?
The meeting with Keller had gone on longer than I'd expected and then it had somehow turned into drinks with the guy. At least I'd managed to close the deal though. I really hadn't meant to be this late but I was on my way home now.
My phone vibrated on the seat but I ignored it until it stopped, ignoring my self-imposed rule of answering the phone when it rings, no matter what - except in meetings, obviously. When it stopped, I grabbed it to see that I had yet another voicemail. "Harvey, it's Donna. I'm at the condo. There's something wrong with Mike and... oh God, I can't... I can't talk about this on the phone. Just be on your way home, Harvey. Please. You have to get here soon. Like half an hour ago, soon."
I could feel the blood draining from my face at the mention of something being wrong with Mike. What was going on? What could be wrong? Mike couldn't be hurt, could he? He was my everything. Everything.
And Donna's voice... I've never heard her speak like that before, never known her so agitated or upset. Not like that anyway.
I pushed a button to call her back but before there was even one ring, I heard that annoying little tone announcing that the battery had died and then the screen went completely blank. I barely restrained myself from throwing the offending piece of technology out the car window in my frustration.
"Ray? Hurry, will you? Something's up."
Just six minutes later, Ray pulled up to the building and I jumped out before he even had the car stopped. I ran inside and bashed at the elevator button. This was only time I'd ever been pissed about having a personal elevator, the only stops it had were the garage, the foyer and the penthouse and of course, that meant that it just stayed at its last stop - which just had to be up fuck knows how many floors. What floor's the condo on again?
It finally arrived but I still had to get to upstairs and wasn't it just like time was standing fucking still? Every little movement was filling me with more and more dread, more and more questions. I sank down to the floor, leaning against one of the glass walls and putting my head in my hands. If there was something wrong with Mike...
The glass pod stopped and the doors opened. I scrambled to my feet and stepped into the living room. All the lights were off but wasn't Donna supposed to be here...?
I put it to the back of my mind as I walked in the direction of the bedroom.
"Harvey." The word was accompanied by a light switching on.
"Jessica?" Why my boss was here, sitting in the dark was beyond me.
"Come and sit down."
"No, I need to find Mike."
"This is about Mike."
"What are you talking about?" I turned and faced her properly, taking a mental step backwards. I'd never seen her so, so... ruffled, I guess. Not really the right word but it'd do for now.
Her hair was a mess, tangled and pulled back in a ragged ponytail. Her makeup was streaked, like she'd been… crying? Or rubbing her face, at the very least. The only time I've even seen her properly upset was when she told me about Quinton having ALS. I've never seen her anything less than perfectly coiffed, well presented, confident, self assured... What the hell was going on?
"What's going on? What's wrong with Mike, Jessica? Please. Just tell me what's going on."
She shook her head, looking to the ceiling. Her eyes were watering as she looked down towards her knees, taking a deep breath. "I just... I'm sorry."
"Mike? What's happened to Mike?" She shook her head slightly and I turned to run to the bedroom. That had to be where he was, right? But Donna just happened to be behind me and I almost knocked her over in my haste.
Looking at her, I realised that her and Jessica wore matching expressions though there seemed to be actual tears on the redhead's cheeks. Actual tears. Was this the Twilight Zone or something? Donna doesn't cry!
"Come and sit down, Harvey, you need to sit down," she whispered but it felt like she was shouting. I did what she asked and sat down on our, me and Mike's, couch. Jessica was seated opposite me and Donna sat down in an armchair to my left.
I couldn't think straight, nothing was making any sense to me. What was up, down, left, right? What the FUCK was going on?
"Have you talked to Mike at all today?" she started.
OK, weird... "Not since about half past one. We were supposed to be going to the Keller meeting this afternoon but he's been sick recently and we've been worried so he went to see his doctor instead. It was the earliest appointment he could get. Why?"
"So you don't know what happened at the doctor's office?"
"I thought I just... No, I don't. What happened? It's not serious, is it?" I started hyperventilating, almost.
"Calm down, Harvey. He's not dying."
I don't why but that just made it worse. Why can't some on that famous composure of mine come through right about fucking now? "Donna..?"
"Yeah, um, look, I don't know how to explain this. I didn't even know it was possible but... well, today... Mike found out he was going to have a baby; that he was about two and a half months pregnant."
My mouth dropped open. "He's what?" I was kind of scared and a whole lot confused. This wasn't possible, it just wasn't. Mike Ross. Male. A man. My man, my lover... was pregnant? What the fucking hell?
"Harvey, Harvey... please... I know this is hard to take in. I know. I almost didn't believe it myself but it's true. I've seen the scans, it's true," Jessica spoke quietly, leaning forward to grasp my hand as Donna did the same, and I could tell that they were deadly serious about this but how was it even possible? Everything I thought I knew was being turned upside down or whatever and...
"How...? What...?" I stared down at the piece of paper that Jessica had just given me. It was a picture of a... sonogram, was that it? I didn't believe one word of the previous conversation until I noticed the name down in the corner of the page, date and time stamped. Michael James Ross, 03/09/2012 14:47
Oh fuck. I mean, shit. I mean... hell I don't know what I mean! Mike's having a baby. A baby. A crying, little fu... I mean, a baby. A little bouncing baby. That's um... interesting.
I mean, of course it's interesting. How often do you hear about a pregnant male? It must be to do with the alignment of the planets or something because this is NOT possible. Why do I believe this load of, load of cow dung? Why… why am I stopping myself from swearing, in my head? Why am I not like ranting or something about insanity or something?
Because as much as I didn't want to believe this, somehow I was coming to the conclusion that it was completely and utterly true. It just didn't make any sense but... the sonogram. It had Mike's name on it. It was timed for when he was at the doctor's surgery. Why would someone fake that? Was it even possible to do so? I mean, it probably was but why anyone want to play such a ridiculous - and cruel - practical joke on someone? I don't think even Louis would try to pull a stunt like that.
So, um, yeah. Mike's pregnant. With my baby. Holy shit.
"Fu- we're having a baby. Oh shit, I mean, whoa. A baby. Me and Mike are having a baby. Together. Oh my god."
I closed my eyes, trying to take in this moment. Me and Mike. We're going to be parents. Like have our own family and whatever. We're going to have to move, the condo isn't big enough for three of us. Should we get a bigger apartment or like a townhouse near the park or should we move ou-
"Harvey," Donna only whispered but I heard her loud and clear, cutting off my rambling inner monologue in the process. I opened my eyes and looked up at one of my most trusted confidantes, only to see proper wet tears falling down her face. "I'm so sorry."
"You said that before. What are you sorry about? What's going on? Wha...?" I trailed off. Something was wrong. Something was seriously wrong, wasn't it?
Jessica moved and kneeled down in front of me, holding my hand in a death grip. "Harvey, you need to listen to me, okay? There's no real reason for why it happens but it does. It can happen in up to 1 in 4 pregnancies and we don't even know the risk in males. It's not like its documented somewhere, is it. It's just... I'm so sorry, Harvey," she whispered, bowing her head.
My face was frozen, my head shook imperceptibly. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't be. No. No. NO!
I couldn't believe this. Five minutes ago, Mike was pregnant and we were going to be parents. Five minutes ago, I was happy. Confused but happy. And now? Mike had... I can't even say the word! I want to turn back time and spare him of this pain, I want to have not spent all bloody afternoon stuck in a meeting and to have spent more time with my boyfriend... How was he right now? What was he doing? How was he feeling? Was he in physical pain? Did he want to see me? Would he blame himself? Would he blame me? Was this my fault?
I stood up, both women still holding my hands. "I have to see him," I said.
"He's sleeping."
"I don't care, I have to see him. I have to see how he is."
"He's sleeping, Harvey, he's hurting so much. He's distraught. He just lost his baby."
"Our."
"What?"
"You said 'his'. It's ours. Our baby. Me and Mike's. Our baby," I spoke firmly, "Do you think I'm not affected by this? That I don't feel the loss too?" I pulled my hands away and turned. "I thought you two knew me better than that. What kind of person do you think I am? I have to see him."
I walked away and didn't have to look back to know that Donna and Jessica were sitting there, glassy eyed. Maybe now they'd think before they spoke. I stopped in the doorway of our bedroom and swallowed. Mike was curled up on the bed, his hair all over the place. His face was red and blotchy from crying, his eyes open and staring blankly at the bathroom door or something.
"Hey Mikey," I said softly. He didn't even blink. I shuffled over to him, sitting down on the edge of the bed. I brushed a stray lock of hair off his forehead, feeling tears filling my eyes again.
Mike didn't even flinch or anything. He just kept staring at the door. I didn't know what to say or do or whatever. What do you say to your boyfriend who's just had a miscarriage? It's not like there's a book somewhere telling you about the things a man went through in pregnancy, its effects or even what to do when something like this happened. Was it just the same as for women?
I leaned over and whispered "I love you" in his ear before I kissed his cheek and stood up. I stripped off my suit, it was suddenly suffocating me, and dropped it on the floor in a pile. Normally, I'm a neat freak but really, I don't bloody care right now. I put on some pyjamas and crawled into my side of the bed, wrapping an arm around Mike's waist. I pulled him close in what I hoped was a gesture of comfort to him; it was certainly one for me.
I buried my face into his neck, breathing deeply, trying to wrap my head around this nightmare, his blond locks absorbing my tears.
Hope you liked it,
Jess xx
EDIT: Okay, a couple of things - One, thank you to whoever it was who left the ANONYMOUS review about the story being copied in three times. I'd just like to point out that it was a glitch with the system because when I uploaded it there were not 7000 words in the file.
B, obviously I don't mind anonymous reviews - otherwise I would have turned them off but they are annoying - how am I supposed to reply to them otherwise, especially with this being a one shot... so far. I don't think I'll continue it but I wouldn't count it out.
Item III, okay so maybe more than a couple, the context of this is taken from the show and putting the characters in an AU setting. However, maybe it's not right at the start of story but I mention different things throughout to let you know what's been happening - Harvey's late, Mike's been ill and went to see his doctor, life-changing information is given, life-changing even occurs. Harvey is in love with Mike and does not like his puppy hurting for whatever reason, Jessica obviously cares about Harvey, Donna obviously cares about them both. None of them are thinking clearly and are saying the wrong things. Mike's just had a miscarriage for christ's sake.