It's Friday. The start of the weekend. Valentine's Day is only two days away.
The day I absolutely hate.
All those happy couples on the street make me downright miserable. Who could love a freak like me?
I stare into my bedroom mirror. Underneath this silky lingerie is a potbellied deformed bird lady with a two-foot nose. Squeezing at my stomach rolls, I groan in disgust.
"I know Dad always said I was beautiful, but am I really? What's so great about being a short fat mutant?" I sighed. "If only I were thin and pretty. 'Oh, look at me. I'm Bree Wayne with my sexy butt and toned arms. Ahahaha.' Blech." That name felt disgusting to say. I've always hated those annoying Waynes. We Cobblepots were here long before they showed up.
I slipped on my housecoat and went to go watch some soap operas.
"Time to go drown my sorrows in Beaujolais and chocolate," I squawked.
I flopped down in my recliner and clicked on my show. Resting my arm on my enormous stomach, I stroked my pet gentoo Grace under her chin.
"Everybody's in love but me," I moaned sadly. "Besides you birds, it gets so lonely around here." I live in a huge mansion with too many rooms for just one person.
Just then, I hear something sliding through the mail slot. I waddle to the door, almost dropping the remote in my ashtray.
"Hmm? What's this?" I pick up a note and read it:
Dear Ozma,
Meet me at the diner near the park around noon.
-Riddlette